I dated the most wonderful man for about a year. We are both in our 40s, and he was never married or even in a relationship with a woman before me. He is not gay, was just very very shy. We always have a great time together, and even though we never had sex, we did a lot of kissing, cuddling, etc. and he was always very happy to do so. He told me recently that I am his best friend, he still wants to do things with me, but he does not think we are right for each other romantically. That crushed me beyond belief. He still calls me and asks me to do things with him, go to dinner, etc. I am very confused. this person IS my best friend. He says he is not interested in anyone else right now. I am very pretty, smart, and treat him so well. So what am I dealing with here? Why does he still want to be with me but not have any physical closeness?
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I should also say that I believe he perhaps has a high-functioning autistic disorder. I have told him this. His "equipment" works.even though we have not had intercourse, we have had other forms of intimacy.
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It sounds like he may have a problem with intimacy. I know I'm a lot younger than you are, but I know that my father and my mother are 50, and when they were married, he was very into cuddling, but not romantic or sexual. (Don't ask me how I know this!) Anyway, I suggest you stay friends with him, but find a man who can satisfy your needs. Tell him that if he doesn't like you in that way, why is he with you? I usually think it's a red flag when a man that age has never been married (I know because of the guys my mom dates). Find a guy who has some more experience. I guarentee you this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. Good luck!
Volleyballgirl...you are so sweet. thank you.
You're welcome! I have a soft spot in my heart for any woman who has ever been in the same situation as my mom. And because I'm 19, I'm dating too, and sometimes I wonder what is wrong with some guys? haha
Are you sure he's not gay? Straight guys want to sleep with girls they like. It doesn't matter if they're nervous about it or anything, they still want to do it. The fact that he doesn't is a real red flag in my mind. From what you've said, my best guess is that he's gay and hasn't totally come to terms with it.
I really don't think he is gay...he looks at porn every so often and definitely checks out woman on a frequent basis. He was on a dating site where he said he was looking for a woman. I just don't know....but I'm just dying right now.
Well you'd know better than me. I just keep thinking that most guys in his spot would at least sleep with you, even if they didn't want a relationship. Unless maybe his equipment doesn't work or something.
you're dealing with a 40 year old virgin. you need remember his relationship development is like that of a 15-16 year old boy. he probably has very strong feelings for you he doesn't know how to express and is confused about if this is love or not since he has nothing else to compare it to. just keep spending time with him anyway you can get it and keep being wonderful to him. one day he'll get it. :)
I was thinking the same thing.