Should I give this really nice guy a chance?

I work with a boy who has liked me for a while now. We have been really good friends, we talk a lot and we've hung out a couple times in the summer, and we JUST recently hung out tonight. I had a lot of fun, he's super nice and it's so easy to be myself around him. The problem is I don't like him like he likes me. He asked me to be his "valentine", I said yes because I didn't see any harm in saying yes. He texted me when I got home and told me he wanted to kiss me but he was just too shy. Should I give this guy a chance even though I don't feel ANY attraction to him whatsoever? I love being friends with him and I really enjoy spending time with him.

What do I do?!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in the minority here, but I don't think you should date him.

    If you have no feelings for him and don't think you ever will, you shouldn't nurture his infatuation with you. It's only going to end up hurting him. I'm a little shocked to see so many people suggesting that you should date him on the grounds of 'he's a nice guy and he deserves it.' Are all you nice guys saying that you'd honestly date a girl who had NO attraction to you, and was only doing it because she felt obligated to "give the nice guy a chance?" That's not a relationship.

    I'm all for nice guys getting happiness they deserve, but you'd be doing him a much greater good by not setting him up for hurt. If you really don't have any feelings for him, don't make him think you do. It's going to hurt him now, for sure, but it will hurt him a lot more later, once he's grown attached to you.


What Guys Said 18

  • Just keep doing what you're doing now, and maybe let him kiss you since he wants to so bad. There has to be a first time for everyone and it's probably better it be with someone who's not excited about it...

  • I can tell you that you have certainly gotten some good advice here so far. "DO NOT start avoiding him like every other girl does when they find out someone likes them because it hurts more than rejection in my opinion." bingo on this one. Follow this advice. I know for a fact that it hurts more than rejection. Next, "if you decide not to give him a chance he might think there is something wrong with him" couldn't be more accurate. There was this girl I really cared about, and it seemed like she did me, but she didn't give me a chance and went with this other guy instead. The question "what's wrong with me?" played like a broken record in my head. Totally not what you want to do to a nice guy like the guy you're talking about.

    Being in those shoes before, I find it hard to say anything but "give him a chance". In saying that I will give you my own words of advice here. If you do give him a chance, communicate, communicate, communicate. If you don't, it's going to be doomed to fail, and your friendship will be over too. Also, figure out what it is you are looking for in a guy, that will help understanding how you do or don't feel over time. If you decide not to give him a chance, you better damn well give him a reason. If he isn't attractive you best tell him "Look, I hate to sound shallow, but there's just no attraction here." I would have rather heard that than nothing. A definitive answer is something. If you give him nothing, he will NEVER know for certain, and may tear himself to pieces trying to figure out something he can't. If he lacks confidence and that's just not acceptable for you tell him "You're a nice guy, but you are too shy and reserved for me." Whatever it is, just make sure you let him know why, and obviously be adult about it.

    I know it may seem like pointing out a persons flaw in your eyes accomplishes nothing, but again, it's a matter of communication, even if things aren't going to work out. Not communicating what you think or feel is never going to help the other person along.

    Hope this helped.

  • What ever you do. DO NOT start avoiding him like every other girl does when they find out someone likes them because it hurts more than rejection in my opinion. If you want to go on a date with him just to test whether you might have feelings for him. Go for it, but you should make that clear to him otherwise he'll get his hopes sky rocketing! lol

    • I'm always up front and honest when it comes to this stuff. I would never avoid someone if I knew they liked me. But thank you.

    • You're welcome and I'm glad to hear you're that type of person.

  • I think its probably better, and less painful for all involved, if you tel hi now rather than encourage him. Is there any chance he doesn't know you well enough to fall for the out-of-state attending medical school boyfriend. Good luck, from your pic I can see why he is interested.

  • I guess giving him a shot won't hurt. Maybe you can find out later that you like him too. Just warn him beforehand that you don't like him at the moment, but you're giving him a chance to change your mind. That way if things don't work out, no hard feelings are felt.

    However your friendship will be done either way. He likes you more than a friend, so a true friendship will never work out at the end of the day.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well give him a chance. See what he does. Sometimes we may not reciprocate affections for someone, but once we get to know them better we start to feel those feelings. Hopefully everything works out for you :)

    • Thank you I appreciate it :)

  • Why not give it a shot? Sometimes friendship can develop into more. After a fair amount of time, if you don't feel more of an attraction, then be honest with him and tell him that you just don't feel that kind of connection.

    I wouldn't make a big deal out of dating him now, like don't announce "we're dating!" Just let things progress. That way, maybe you can salvage your friendship if it doesn't work out.

    Good luck to you.

  • If there's no spark it's not gonna work.

  • give him and chance