Why doesn't she approach me?

[Anonymous]

So there's this girl at my work that I like and so far I have not tried anything that could be interpreted as flirting, but instead as friendliness.

Me and her make small talk when I get a chance to catch her alone(like 5 second conversations), she makes eye contact (but then looks away), and we talk about some work related stuff

Now here's the thing that bugs me... I see her all the time hanging out with her work buddies and approaching them for conversation, but she never approaches me?

Is she not comfortable with me? Is it a physical attraction issue? Does she not know that I want to be friends. does she not know that I have interest? do girls need to know your interested before they approach you?

So I guess my question is... why the hell doesn't she approach me? even if it's just outta friendship, at least I can turn that friendship into something more ya know?

Updates

+1 y

to you people saying she's shy: yeah she could be shy... or she could be disinterested(although I doubt it, refer to my reply to mikenice8's post below)


so how do you tell the diff between shy and disinterested?

[Anonymous]

when you approach her does she blush? does she seem a little nervous = smiling and looking away, fidgeting, deep breaths, attempts eye contact but doesn't hold it all the time (b/c she's shy)...than this prob. means she's just shy and doesn't want to say the wrong thing...but most likely she likes you.

if she's Not interested she may be able to speak more and not fidget as much...she will feel a little more comfortable (b/c she's not interested in impressing you in a romantic way) she may seem a little annoyed that you're around but if she's a nice girl she may not show you she's annoyed...and she most likely won't blush unless you say something really inappropriate lol

compliment her (what's she's wearing or her hair or something) and see if she blushes right away...if she likes you she will prob. blush right away and smile :-) ...just got to remember that even though most girls pretend the "tuff chick, I can do it all by myself thing" they are really softies at heart lol and want a man to pursue them... and we don't want you to think us too forward by approaching you ...it's just the way God made us :-)

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn't want people at work gossiping about the two of you.

I'm in a situation like the one you're talking about.

I work with a guy. There was strong chemistry initially and I was really shy/nervous around him at first. We made lots of eye contact, he noticed that I blushed around him a lot, and he started making an effort to talk to me. We now eat lunch together just the two of us everyday. He hasn't asked me out yet, but I think I know why.

People did start gossiping about us, and I really hate it because it makes me worry my boss will be mad or it makes me look unprofessional. So I'm VERY careful about how I flirt with him. I'm not touchy with him like I know he wants me to be. And I can tell it frustrates him. I do other things that are nice but wouldn't be gossiped about like bring him food he likes or give him compliments. But it's very frustrating for me to feel like I can't show him how much I like him, but also wanting to be professional and not lose my job.

[Anonymous]

You should just try approaching her more often until she becomes more comfortable around you. She's probably a bit shy and maybe doesn't realize you're interested. If you approach her more often she should become comfortable enough around you to start approaching you like she does other people. If she doesn't after a while, then I'd guess she isn't interested.

[Asker]

im not good at maintaining conversations... or making girls laugh. and making a girl laugh is literally 90% of the battle lol

[Opinion Owner]

Its difficult to say how you can tell a difference between shy and disinterested because of the work setting. She's going to be nice even if she isn't interested because you're her coworker and that's what blurs the lines. Just ask her about herself and build conversation off of that. I think guys sometimes have problems maintaining conversation because they are so "to the point". You don't normally elaborate so topics die quickly. Its not a bad thing but then you have to flow into other topics.

[JewFroJoey]

You shouldn't worry about her not approaching her. If you want anything to do with her, approach her. I mean, if you want anything in life you'll have to go get it. That includes any kind of relationship with anyone whether it's just friendship or more.

[mikenice8]

She's just not into you. Whether she knows you like her or not if she likes you she would present oppourtunities and flirt with you. Also you ain't going get a girl if you have no confidence and you set off friendship vibes.

[Asker]

I haven't really tried "hitting on her" or showing "more then friendship vibes" to judge whether she's not into me... but yes I agree with you and the anonymous above, ill try approaching her and NOT set off "just friendship" vibes

[mikenice8]

Women hardly ever make the first move or ask guys out. The guy has to initiate everything

[Asker]

wekk yeah I guess, but sometimes I'd think "Well maybe if I was cuter/hotter/whatever she'd try talking to me with that beautiful smile of hers" ya know?

[MizzAshley92]

Just ask her out to dinner and if she says yes you'll know she's interested if she says no then you can move on..If you take her out to dinner I'm sure you will find stuff to talk about and from then on you guys will guarenteed be able to make conversation and then later down the line maybe it will go further then friendship and will be less akward

[MizzAshley92]

Maybe she's just as shy as you are..Try talking to her for more then 5 seconds..And if she's not approaching you then approach her..Talk about more then work..Maybe ask how her day was tell her she looks or smells nice..Maybe even ask her out on a date to dinner and a movie?

[chromeo7]

well you shouldn't insult yourself just because she doesn't like you. (not sure if you were) but maybe try some bold flirting. your probably confusing her a bit. be a bit more straight forward and she'll get the hint. if she acts the same, she either needs some time to get used to it or is not interested. good luck!

[JCUcupcake]

She's not approaching you because she is shy. If you want to have anything more than a friendship with her you need to initiate it. Good luck! :)

[Tphilly187]

you should approach her

[Anonymous]

aww. she's shy. :)