I can't stand how I feel... What can I do now?
I am just so sad... I lost the person I care most about in the world, my best friend who told me he loved me, who I've been with over a year, who took me home for Christmas, who convinced me he really wanted to be with me.
He broke up with me a little over two weeks ago and said it was because he couldn't give me what I deserve... which is honestly a little true, but I don't care if he takes me out all the time and calls me all the time, I care to be with my best friend who I love very much and that's the only way I've felt happy in the past year.
We've been going on dates still and he still says he cares about me and he's so sorry for hurting me. Then the other day he invited MY best friends (I'm a bridesmaid in their wedding and he wasn't even invited) out to a work event, but didn't invite me. My best girl friend invited me, and begged me to come, so I went, which was probably not the best idea.
Before I came he gave one of those tan blond slutty and stupid 19 year old girls his phone number. I'm definitely not ugly, I'm very pretty, but I'm curvy (not fat) and light skinned with dark hair and glasses.
What I'm saying is I'm not the typical dumb p*rnstar looking slut, but an intelligent and strong beautiful woman, which I think is better, but whatever.
He then invited me back to his house and then didn't even act like he wanted me there... he sat on the other couch texting that girl (which he lied to me about, but I'm smart enough to piece it together) after two days before cuddling with me and telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to him!
I know that that was all really sh*tty of him. I know that I'm [a lot] smarter than him and more ambitious and obviously more caring and nice than him. But that doesn't ease the fact that my best friend in the world deceived me, and the man I'm in love with rejected me.
So I got drunk with my friends for the first time in a long time the day after it happened, so we obviously talked non-stop about it. That caused me to text him really dramatic and stupid things... first I said mean things like he's an idiot and never to hang out with my friends, then sappy things like I love him and just want to be happy in case I die soon (which could very well happen, I get terrible migranes and the doctors don't know what's wrong or how to fix it, which I've never told anyone) and if he ever can mature enough to see how badly he's hurt me, maybe we can be friends again.
I know that's super annoying and unattractive of me to do, but I miss him so much. How do I fix it? How do I get my best friend and boyfriend back in my life so I can be happy again?
What's Your Opinion?
What Guys Said 1
The honest answer is one that I really hate to say... but you do need to move on from him. I don't see any way to get him back the way things seem right now.
My most recent ex lied to me after we broke up and said she "wanted to be friends". We hung out a lot, I'd spend the night at her house and things seemed great.
Well, she was just using me until she moved on with several other guys. I was there to make her feel better, and she had no intention of getting back together, but she was too selfish to just say that. It killed me every time we hung out or talked.
I'm sorry, but it sounds like your ex is doing the same thing. He is stringing you along until he's filled his nights with other girls. I really hate saying that... but for whatever reason he's chosen to move on.
Sometimes people move on for all the wrong reasons, or for reasons that they don't even understand. (as stupid as that is, it is sometimes true)
You could lay it all on the line and tell him his behavior is confusing, and that he either gets all of you, or none of you. But please don't keep putting yourself into these situations. You need to heal... and if he's not willing to get back together, then you need to do that by cutting him out of your life.
It sucks, going from best friends to nothing... but you need to do it in order to move on. You seem like a great person. You don't need to look for another guy right away, but you need to work on being happy without him in your life.
What Girls Said 1
''He then invited me back to his house and then didn't even act like he wanted me there... he sat on the other couch texting that girl (which he lied to me about, but I'm smart enough to piece it together) after two days before cuddling with me and telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to him!''
I'm sorry you're going through this, but honestly, based on this paragraph I can tell that:
1)He's a player.
2) He's just not interested in you anymore, yet he cared about you and tried to hid the whole situation. But as you said, you're smarter than him, and realized what he was really doing, and it hurt your feelings.
Anyways, I say move on.
Give him space, so you and him can become at least friends again in the future.