Why would you go back and start talking to him again and try to get his attention? What is the reasoning behind it? I'm not asking "why a certain girl is doing that?" why do YOU do it? Really, help me out here. You ignore him first, I'm thinking obviously because you don't like all the attention he is giving you and then when he stops giving attention, you go to him. Did you change your mind? You like attention? what?
I talked to her today, very casual, like nothing happened. Big smile on her face and she is short and I just love the way she kinda tilts her head up to look into my eyes with a big smile. I asked her "did you miss talking to me?" She said "sure"
Then I went "im not convinced" and walked away then she said "yes, I would much rather talk to you than not" so yeah, I guess you can call that a point for us guys, why play all these silly games? Just tell the truth, it shall set you free lol.
I will admit that I have done this before. The thing is, I honestly don't set out to do it on purpose; I generally end up questioning internally whether or not the guy's intent is genuine, or if he is just looking for a good time. This in turn makes me lose self confidence, and I come across as shutting down or 'going cold' because I simply feel put on the spot and I'm not sure how to respond. By the time I realize that (i) his intent was genuine and (ii) I honestly wish I had said something cleverer in reply, it's a bit too late and he's ignoring me. Which, I am sure you will agree, really sucks. Story of my life!
i don't think she's playing a game, I think she's genuinely confused about how she feels for you. my ex was an ass to me. so I was mad at him, but after a while he softened up and tried harder for me, so not having him AND seeing his softer side is what made me like him again. But he only wants me A. for sex or B. when I'm not interested. So when I liked him again, all he wanted was sex and he hurt me, and left me mad at him again. vicious cycle.
I have ignored a guy because I liked him and I did not want to like anyone. I did not want to get too emotional. Or at all emotional. I needed to focus on other things. When I realized, or decided, it was OK to like him. I also realized I might have hurt him. I tried to start talking again. He did talk, but he gave me a hard time about it for a vey long time . Then I stopped just to give him space and he got mad at me for ignoring him, So I started talking then he got mad that I was talking to him. He just made everything vey difficult for way longer than the time I had initially not talked to m for. We went to talk to each other, but he still stayed mad for a long time.
But yea, the whole time, I never changed my feelings. Just my opinion of having them and or acting on them.
Personally, attention kinda bores me once I have it. It's the idea of not being able to obtain his interest that keeps me intrigued because it means it's a challenge, I wouldn't want everything laid out right in front of me because it takes away the the drama and the idea of the unknown. Don't always tell a girl what you're thinking- make her beg for it.
Just some insecure girl who likes the attention of a guy that she doesn't really want. She just likes the feeling of someone wanting her. She would probably get a little hurt if he were supposed to get a girl friend and introduced them. Then she would realize that she really effed up and then start throwing herself at him. Then when he starts showing her the attention her insecure behind was looking for, she would give him the cold shoulder again. This is the type of girl who doesn't know what she wants. So he shouldn't waste his time. She is still trying to find herself and really she should be searching for a map to Womanhood (cuz that down right childish behavior). My suggestion Run as fast and as far away as you can.
The girl is testing him to see whether or not the guy will put up with her bullsh*t. They have to see whether or not you will come crawling to her because she ignores you. Since you didn't, she's upset. And so yes, she also wants the attention, too, I guess. Guys aren't the only ones who like the chase.
Guys do the same annoying thing. It kind of sparks people's interest when they have a challenge, for both sexes. The reverse thing happened with me! Some guy was really interested, and I wasn't. I gave him a chance because he was interested and eventually let him know I was then he gave me the cold shoulder and now I'm super interested and I have no idea why! He's really not my type at all! It's the fact that he did like and now he doesn't, it like draws me to him. It's horrible! But I hate games so I'm blowing him off, and if he tries anything again he can kiss my a**. It's all about the chase. My advice to you, just keep making her chase. She was ignoring you and it sounds like playing games, so let her chase for awhile. A LONG while. Game players deserve it.
themastaplan, I couldn't agree more! these games are for when you're a teenager, surely 'grown-ups' would realize that. If you truly respect and care for someone then you wouldn't be trying to trick them, get one over on them or manipulate their feelings to make them more appealing to you or you to them! If you both actually care for each other then there should be no need to chase them or get them to chase you!
Honesty and ability to talk openly without it being used against you in some game to get them to chase you and make your ego feel better is surely more of a recipe for a lasting relatiionship! I for one am sick to death of people 'playing games' people need to grow up!
I think some women although they know a guy is interested don't feel like he is giving them quite enough of what they want/need so they give him the cold shoulder so that he steps it up a bit but the trouble is as soon as the woman gets what she needs and starts returning the affection it seems to turn the guy off and then we get the cold shoulder, some women see it as a challenge to get back their man some (like me ) would feel rejected and maybe give them the cold shoulder again so that they come back to you (its not what I do but its what I seem to be observing these days) why are these games played? just seems pointless to me!
at the strat of a relationship I like to give the guy the cold shoulder purposly to keep him interested and on his feet and also so he will keep contacting me as I don't want to look to clingy. When the guy after a while doesn't contact me I wonder why and then I woudl contact him that's just me anyways :)
If I like a guy a little too much, I might try to ignore him or avoid the situation entirely. I can be interested, and not shy, but if I have a crush or am incredibly attracted to a guy, I will shy away. Partially because I'm too nervous to know what to say, and partially because I don't want to be painfully obvious and look like a fool. I might ... stumble over my words, give stupid replies, giggle too much, fidget, who knows lol. (When I'm nervous, I'm VERY obvious.) When I've "gone back" it was because I changed my mind in a manner speaking. I went from thinking "this is too risky" to "you only live once".
For me, this isn't the case for all guys I'm attracted too. This has only rarely ever happened to me. In each case, it was someone I had drooled over and fantasized about before hand lol.
Maybe she doesn't know how you really feel about her. Have you made a move and asked her out? The only reason she may be giving you the cold shoulder is because she's getting mixed signals from you. Instead of ignoring her, why don't you tell her how you really feel.
I don't really think it's anything about a "challenge" or a way to flirt because for me I ignore a guy who is interested in me only when I'm interested in him. See, not every girl knows when a guy likes her, and for some of us, even the guys who pay tons of attention to us might not like us. I'm always afraid of falling for guys who flirt with everyone, so I ignore them because it's safer than putting myself out there. And even for guts who aren't so flirty that I take interest in: I don't want to trick myself into thinking he likes me if he doesn't, so I ignore him. I mean, if he talks to me I definitely respond, but I don't say anything first out of fear for him being annoyed with me.
Maybe she genuinely doesn't know that you're interested. There are girls who don't pick up on these things, I just happen to be one of them myself. Unless someone blatantly asked me, I'd be clueless as to whether the guy was interested in me or not. It could me that she was weighing the pros & cons to dating you. Or perhaps she wasn't initially attracted to you & now she is.
Personally, I usually give guys the cold shoulder if they've done or said something offensive. I'll go cool my jets first before talking to him again. Another reason would be if he's a major flirt & just flirts with everyone or if I found he had a girlfriend & still flirted with me (I really don't guys like that).
the simple answer is girls love attention...they will tell you how annoying it is when you give it but when you stop they are like what the heck...you've put the ball in her court, you've shown that you want to give her attention and possibly more...now you've stopped and she's all like why isn't he contacting me as often and blah blah...girls are crazy like that, seriously tho. I have not met one girl who doesn't like attention...EVEN WHEN THEY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, deep down they really like it because it gives them something to gossip over...when it stops they wonder why, "is he still intersted?" "is he with another girl" etc...its crazy man, trust me I know and it sucks...but some girls can't get a grasp on what's important in life or what they want...those are the ones who usually end up divorsed and misreable...go after what you want...if they don't want you back then move on...youre between 25-29 its not time for games anymore, its time to be serious...if of course, that's what you want...
good luck man, keep your head up, don't fall for the games!
Probably...but you gotta think that this girl is trying to manipulate you and seems to be more into game playing than an actual relationship. Do you really want to have a relationship with somebody like that? Games don't stop there, they keep going into the relationship. Do you really want to be with somebody like that? Or do you want to be with somebody who takes her time getting to know you, doesn't play games, enjoys the moment and just goes with the flow?.
Women that do this make really sh*tty girlfriends TRUST me.
I've never had a girl try to get my attention after ignoring me for obvious reasons whatever they. The most I have ever had would be a girl dressing up sexy trying to attract attention or get me to notice her.
Basically, girls who give the cold shoulder are "daddy's girls" who got all they wanted from Dad with the cold shoulder tactic, and Bro, if uu can't be her real dad, simply back off, cos she won't stop using the tactic.
When she starts to realize that you don't really care about her anymore it makes her wonder if she made a mistake & some girls seem to think your always going to be there no matter what she does. Don't ever give in to a girl like that because you will regret it unless you only want a short time fling with her. You have to have zero tolerance when it comes to women who mess with your head or play games because they never stop & relationships with them never work, ever..