Did your parent(s) ever hit you? How much, and for what? Did they eventually stop?

If you don't wanna read my personal experiences, just skip to the last paragraph (this whole description is just my personal experiences).

My dad never hit me. He's always been really nice.

My mom used to hit me and my brothers soooooooo much (but more me since I used to get in the most trouble). My dad hated it when she hit us, and was gradually able to teach her how to control her anger better. Now she's a lot better, but she's still got a temper and tends to overreact about little things (she never hits us anymore, though).

Once I was practicing piano in Grade 2 I think (grade 2 in school - probably grade 1 in piano) and I was supposed to be practicing a certain technique - rolling my fingers or something. I didn't understand what I was supposed to do, and my mom kept getting really pissed off, and she would go to her room to read the newspaper while listening to my piano. If my piano didn't sound good, every five minutes, she would come down and slap me repeatedly. It was a horrible experience for me (although I'm sure other people have had WAY worse experiences) because I couldn't help it - I just didn't understand the technique. I kept using trial and error (error being getting slapped) to finally guess the right technique since I didn't actually understand the technique. It took me hours. And during those hours, every five minutes, my mom would come down and slap me multiple times then go back upstairs.

Another time, my mom found out that in school, in Grade 1, as a joke, I put my fingers behind my head as if they were horns, looked at my friend, and said, "I'm the devil." (A teacher had seen me do this and told my mom.) My mom shouted at me something like, "If you want to be the devil, you need to have hot stuff!" and made me eat raw chili powder. Yeah. Sometimes my mom was crazy haha. Oh, and also, she beat me because of that.

I remember one time she was hitting me with a big wooden spoon so hard that it broke in half. The worst was when she used a wooden roller - I can still imagine how it felt. I got the worst bruises on my legs from that - it went f***ing deep. Sometimes she also used a metal spoon. Most of the time she just slapped me, though (but still, that could hurt too).

In Grade 5 I was just starting to use swear words, and I thought they were both fun and cool to use (turns out they weren't that cool lol, but they were fun). I went up behind someone in my class on the stairwell and said, "f*** you" to him (without meaning it obviously), and he told on me. I kept lying to my family saying I didn't say that. You have no idea how much I was hit because of that hahaha. Hours on end of being hit by my mom, trying to convince me to tell the truth.

My mom stopped hitting me probably around the end of Grade 6, but I had learned how to get into less trouble by around Grade 5.

So that's enough about me :)

What about you guys? Personal experiences are always welcome like I gave, or just general answers if you want.

And sorry for the long description haha.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My mum...

    Fiery tempered Irish lady who doesn't give a f***. Ohhhh I've suffered in the past. Fists not hands, punches not slaps. If I pissed her off in the kitchen I'd RUN... that Irish lady's got pans at her disposal, I've suffered 'the wok' many times as an ignorant teen.

    Do I blame her... NOT AT ALL. Well done Mama :)


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What Girls Said 20

  • I feel especially lucky I was never hit after reading these stories! Ouch.

    My parents never laid a hand on me, but I've always been very docile and respectful, so there was never really a need to. Everyone tells me that my dad used to hit my sister a lot because she used to get in trouble a lot at school (she's 12 years older than me.. and eventually ended up dropping out, but she's not a troublemaker anymore). I guess I didn't really go through a rebellious phase like that, I had a lot of freedom because I never got in trouble and I was good in school.

    The only discipline I needed was for my dad to yell at me (or for my mom to threaten to call my dad so he could yell at me lol). He's a very intimidating person. And he can have a really short temper sometimes. But the older I got, the more I understood him because we're so similar; he would get mad easily and overreact, then feel bad and apologize.. and I'd find myself acting the same way (some sort of depression or bipolar disorder, maybe). We have a really great relationship now that I understand those outbursts.

    I think from an outside perspective, it may seem horrible and evil the way some parents treat their children sometimes, and of course as a child you don't always understand why you're being treated that way. But it is HARD to be a parent, that cannot be said enough. There's no perfect way to discipline your kids.. it's affected by the way YOU were treated as a kid, your own kids' different personalities, the situations.. The idea of 'proper discipline' is what makes me so uncertain about having my own kid someday. It's so easy to screw it up. We lose our patience and don't think about our reactions and how impressionable a child is.

    But I'm going way out in left field. Sorry ha ha >.<

  • My mother has hit me a couple of times in my life. But as I got older, whenever she hit me I got her back. I don't take sh*t from people, never have. Which is something she taught me. The worst fight we've had is when I was fifteen. We pushed each other into things, punched, kicked, screamed, threatened, slammed each other into things, threw plates, knives, she slammed me through a glass table and I pushed her through two doors etc. And keep in mind my mother is a military lady. She knows how to fight really, really well.

    She's gotten me with wooden/metal spoons, glass/ceramic cups, plates, knives, vacuum cleaner poles, belts, a metal urn, a steel knife sharpener etc.

    My father, on the other hand wouldn't lay a hand on me. I don't know why, though. But I can't recall ever being hit by my father. Some threats on being chased around the house and being smacked with his leather belt when he caught me, yes, but he never followed through with the threat.

    Oh wait, he did slap me once. He slapped me because I turned down his music even though it was 2am, I was a small kid and had school in the morning. Then he was sober in the morning and felt like sh*t. Of course, that doesn't count for the emotional abuse I suffered. But I'm not going into that. I'm just very thankful my life was so easy compared to others.

  • My mom never ever beat me.

    My dad did.

    It probably started when I was in 1st grade, when I broke one of my dads glass cups... It was on accident, I guess he didn't see it that way though.

    My brother got beat the most, but my mom was so pissed with my dad after he beat us, telling him to handle it a different way... Until my mom finally divorced him.

    After the divorce, my sister, Michelle, was very pleased that she wouldn't get beat. My mom punished us with about no TV for 3 weeks, which was better than a beating.

    My other sister, Jenny, was probably the happiest . She has accidentally hit my dad in the back while she was practicing ballet moves, and she got beat for like 10 minutes!

    I've always been afraid of my father. I don't visit him often.

    The beating stopped, of course, when my parents divorced when I was 9.

    My mom never laid a finger on us, just giving us a long talk after we did something bad. Then she would give us a punishment, (The "No TV for 3 weeks" punishment applied to Michelle, Jenny, Vienna and I, and the "No video games for a month" punishment applied to my brother.)

    My mother is my all. I love her alot.

    I still hate my dad deep inside for all the beatings, but of course, there's a spot of me that loves him... But there's a spot that always hates him, and it's growing bigger every day.

    That man has big anger issues.

    You have a lucky dad.

    I actually loved my friends more than my dad!

    I even remember all of their names;

    Anna, Emma, Kathleen, Michael, Patrick, Miles, Plinio, Saoirse, Mary, Liza, Kevin, Elizabeth, Aidan, Yvon, Anya, Alex. We had 4 doubles; Fiona, Lia, Zachary, Miles.



    she's only 72.

    I was like Little Red Riding Hood except I didn't get eaten by a wolf, thank gosh.

    • Wow, that's really sad that your dad beat you and your siblings that much. Yep haha, I have a lucky dad and you have a lucky mom :)

      Lmao, you were pretty popular - 20 friends! :P

      Thanks for sharing.

  • every night my dad tries to bash me and god knows what else but my big brother always stands between him and I and dad beats him to a pulp, strangeles him or whatever he thinks of at the time I cry every night about it, he and I share a room and I always crawl into his bed to hug him and make him feel safe. I'm scared if I get the cops involved daniel will get hurt more.

  • I usually got hit by my mom and never my dad. my mom has bipolar though.

    I gradually learnt that when I was older but I hated her so much. weird thing was I never punched back. I always hoped that she'd be better, she is getting better. she just has temper issues too.

    adults are not always adult. sometimes I feel I act more mature than her.

    • So often I act more mature than my mom.

      By the way, how did you find out she's bipolar?

  • i got smacked and spanked at an early age.

    I was very athletic though and eventualy my mother hurt her arm spanking my hard butt...i laughed. LOL

    I believe in hitting your kids when they deserve it. Only sound judgement can tell you when they deserve it. You should obviously never inflict any damadge to them, ever.

    • abused kids, often say you should hit. its because its what you are used to. most adults hit for themselves not the children.

      studies show kids have very negative personality developments when you use physical beating as punishment. reasoning with kids builds their self esteem and self respect. it also increases sense of shame when they know they behaved badly. beating just makes them mad at you & scared of you. they don't think as much about what they did, as they feel belittled abused and angry.

    • I guess all european & Asian children are abused then.

      Thanks for comming out.

  • my dad used to drink alot, and ever since I was 5 he hit me, and as I goy older he got more aggressive. he hit me with a wooden spoon a ruler and when I was in year 5 he started belting me, leaving pitch black bruises and cuts everywhere and because I pulled a girls hair at school he had my waist length hairv cut so short it couldn't even touch my sholders. he doesn't hit me anymore and he stopped drinking when he realized what he was doing

  • When I was younger dad used to hit me but mum never hit us. I was naughty when I was younger at school and I'd always bring home behavior cards. I'd get the worse beating ever. The way I was hit was unimagionable. It stopped once I got older but now because there is a sudden change in religion dad's threaten to hit us (for reasons I won't share).

  • Sorry about your experience. My parents have never hit me. Though my mum has shouted at me before. I spent a good amount of time without talking to her after that incident.

    • Meh ha ha it's okay. I'm not really traumatized by it.

      Wow really? Haha I wish I could just stop talking to my mom like that :P

  • I got slapped by my Dad when I was 20 for chatting with a guy online all night long. ( That guy is my boyfriend since 2 years)

    Ive been also hit by my grandma, but that occured when I was little.

    • Wow ha ha if my dad knew what I've been up to and he was like your dad, I'd have gotten slapped so many times by him by now :P

  • Theres a difference between spanking and hitting...Hitting is abusive and irrational, spanking is a calm, collected reasonable punishment to keep us kiddos outta trouble (God knows I needed it sometimes lol) but it sounds like your mom was a little bipolar or somethin, possibly a teaspoon of wacko mixed in?

  • Sorry man, that sounds brutal and really cold frightening way to grow up- - even if your strong about it, id imagine its traumatic.

    You have any Nazis in your back ground? (no joke.)

  • wow that is abuse you probably have told someone :( I'm sorry. But anyways my parents never hit me but my dad is emotionally abusive and I've just been waiting for the day.

    • What day are you waiting for? And well I don't know who I should've told... and it wasn't serious as in I didn't get any serious bodily damage from what she did, so I don't know if telling someone would even help...

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    • Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Respect is everything.

    • Yeah. It's sad knowing that my mom doesn't really respect me. She's always claiming that I'm rude when in fact I'm one of the most polite people I know (I'm not bragging or anything, I'm just saying I've always been really polite with my mom). She often starts yelling out of nowhere telling me that I'm yelling at her. Like wtf? I say something normally and politely and out of nowhere she starts getting mad and saying that I'm rude and yelling at her? Ah well lol.

  • yes all the time. my mom hits me on my face, which is worse, and almost gave me a black eye yesterday. I f***ing hate her.

    • Damn :(

      Does she have a reason to hit you? I mean like, obviously there's no excuse for hitting your kid, especially in the face, but was there a reason for her to be mad? Why did she hit you?

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    • she hits me weekly...i don't know if I can live with her like this.

    • She hit you because you forgot to take out out the trash? Shit... can you talk to a counselor or something?

  • yes and mostly for getting into trouble at school or being evil to my sister because I hated her.

    My grandma would slap us with a shoe if we wouldn't listen lol

  • Ah I just got a smack on the bum until I was about 8 when I was naughty, nothing serious :p

  • kinda, if I did something stupid tho. tsktsk bad ass>:)

  • Only if I'm being really difficult (my own fault) and then my mom does it out of frustration. But my parents would never hit me badly.Just a little slap. What you're telling is mistreatment.

  • I've only been spanked and licked soap...when I was bad. I believe that spanking is OK but if I ever become a parent...I will make them lick a bar of soap like I had to...It's better then spanking and I learned quick that soap tastes nasty so I didn't do that anymore

  • my dad slapped me in the face before because I was getting told off and he was asking me his usual your in trouble questions and I had a mental blank and answered the question slightly on the sarcastic side so he slaped me in the face :( it really hurt and I hope he never dose it ever again :'(

    • It was one time. You'll be fine. Trust me, you have it so much better off than most kids. Just be grateful he's only slapped you once. And I'm not being mean. I'm just trying to open your eyes a bit I guess haha.

      It'd be okay if you didn't say "I hope he never dose it ever again :'(", but since you said that, that shows you don't really realize you're one of the lucky ones.

      Just be happy. You have so many reasons to be happy. Even I do :D

    • hehe I actually did know I was one of the lucky ones I just said that for effect ;)

    • Lol okay then.

What Guys Said 8

  • my parents never hit me, but my dad says his dad used to beat him with a stick. it was acceptable then and legal for teachers to do it too. He was god at school so he never got beaten but his favorite teacher used to beat students a certain number of times that he would say before and if they cried out at all then he would start again. Apparently he usually didn't get to the end ever but he just got fed up... This was in Palestinian Israel about 35 years ago. I'm so glad I didn't live then. One guy he knew used to hang his children head down from the ceiling for a certain time and then let them down. My late grandfather apparently used to beat my grandmother too :(. They can be really brutal there. Still are sometimes, but then my dad comes from a particularly backward family for nowadays and even those days. His dad stopped beating him when he was old enough and just took his stick/ belt from him.

    • Man there's a huge story behind my grandparents, so I'm not gonna tell it. But once we spent spring break with them in a quiet place just to relax, and in the place we rented we caught my late grandfather beating my grandmother. My parents stopped him, and at one point he called my mom a prostitute for no reason (in their language, which I don't speak - I was just told what they were saying by my parents).

      Haha, you're pretty lucky. It sucks being hit :(

      But then again, I'm luckier than most.

    • thats so sad :(. It's bad enough when psycho guys hit their wife but its almost worse when normal guys hit their wife because in their society its considered normal...

  • My mom used to beat the hell out of me and my younger brother, but she stopped later when we got old enough where it didn't effect us and she was weaken by the many surgerys she has had.

    But still to this days has more anger than anyone I know.

    One thing I remember was every couple weeks, she would come and tuck me and my brother into bed Sunday night before school. She would look around our rooms and she one thing not how she wanted it. She would tear the whole room apart throwing everything at us and dragging us over to where she was destroying things. After she was done with both rooms she told us to clean it up and we couldn't go to sleep until they were cleaned. It always took me and my brother hours to clean up everything and wouldn't get to bed till 4 or latter, in which we couldn't sleep because we had school in the mourning. And we made damn sure we didn't miss that bus.

    • Wow that sucks :(

      Lol I knew I could find more than one person who's way worse off than I am.

  • Dad used to slap my hand whenever I got in to a fight with my brother lol. This stopped around Grade 5 where he would just yell at me, but that pissed me off more so they never bothered disciplining me ever since lol.

    • Haha is slapping your hand really that bad? (I'm not trying to say it's not - I just don't know.)

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    • Except when I walk off, my mom yells at me as always. And I get in even more trouble.

    • Wow, never mind that then lol.

  • yeah my dad hit me when I was younger until I grew up around 7-8th grade and I whooped his ass haha.

  • All the time LOL

  • You sound Asian or pacific islander. I think this because I'm half filipino and my mom used to hit me a lot too. when we were little if me and my brothers and sisters wouldn't stop crying for whatever reason, she would pinch us (yes pinch us not just light pinches, hard to make us bleed "you want to cry some more, you want to cry some more") until we would stop. She did this for as long as I could remember. I remember in pre-school (yeah 4 years old) I was given rides home by this lady, I would pinch this lady's daughter (like 2 year old girl) to get her to start crying. I didn't even know why, I just know I did it. my dad used to hit me with a wooden spoon if I acted up in school or didn't practice piano. my mom came after me with a belt one time and made my nose bleed, so my dad took the belt from her and whipped her with it 5 times in front of me. I was 8.

    • All I can say is D:

      :( :( :(

      And no I'm not Asian (in the sense of oriental - but my ancestors are from a country in Asia).

  • My dad.

    With a Plastic stick when I was 12 , he did because I kicked my young brother of 4 years after he threw something on me (can't remember what it was but it did hurt my head), my dad told me don't Kick him Don't ! .. I did kick my little bro then he took the plastic stick near his hand and whipped me on my back that was like 10 times or more I ran to my room and kept crying for like 3 hours.. I still have the scars on my back , I never told him its because of him that I have them, I pretend they are because a medicine overdosage a few years ago

    It was a terrible experience =(

  • Yeah my childhood wasn't the best.

    Both my parents spanked me at an early age for minor things.

    For major things like

    If I was asked how I felt and gave the wrong answer or didn't know/understand something that I was supposed to or did something wrong in front of guests, then I'd be taken into another room and spanked with a wooden pot stirrer.

    But it got worse, it shifted to emotional abuse for most of my teen years,

    When my dad used to tutor me for math, chemistry, or driving lessons and I got stuff wrong he would punch or hit me and tell me how useless I was.

    Once I was in high school I was talking to my mom while my sisters TV show was on and my sister told me to shut up, I ignored her and carried on talking to my mom and my sister stabbed me in the back with one of these link she slaped the pen and the clear bit and the ink ball were stuck in my back and I had to pull them out and patch it whilst hearing how it's my fault and how I brought it on myself.

    Worst part came afterward, I got a grounded for a month because it was my fault and I had to lie to my swimming coach at the time about why I couldn't swim for the next few weeks and then he was angry at me too, and with my allowance I had to buy these large plasters and disinfectant to keep patching it in the toilets at school for the first week because it kept opening up because if the teachers found out I would have been in even more trouble.

    It wasn't a happy time and it still isn't for me.

    • Omg that's so sad :(

      I guess you can be glad that it's all behind you now... sh*t ha ha I don't know what to say except that I understand how crappy that must be and that I'm here for you. Symbolically. :P

      I hope you get over this soon enough.

      Just wondering, how old are you? (It doesn't have to be an exact age, just an approximation, e.g. teenager or in my mid-twenties or something like that - but if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine too.)

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    • Wow, I'm really sorry. That sucks.

      Do you know why your parents cared for your sister more than you? It doesn't really make sense to me why they would forbid you from having a girlfriend but go out of their way to accommodate your sister's boyfriend.

    • damn your family is f***ed up I'm so sorry :(