Guys, when you're mad, do you keep dead quiet?

Got into a fight, have been fighting these past few weeks anyways -- he didn't respond to my last texts as I think I might have hurt his feelings with something I said. He ignored like4 texts then I kinda told him to break up but in a 'good' way -- still no response. Now I know that he's been annoyed from this for a while but even if he's really through with us, why would he just stop talking to me? It happened before, e.g. when I went too far in a fight, he'd stop talking to me until I would have apologized multiple times. Is that normal?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I tend to get quiet as a means of keeping myself from saying really awful things in fights. I've actually had girlfriends tell me they'd rather have me shout the awful things at them than just go silent like I do. Kinda weird. But yes, this is something I've done.

    Also, it's a strategy for dealing with people in conflict. There's a theory that says if you just keep your mouth shut and let the other person keep talking, he/she will end up feeling remorseful and embarrassed because of how one-sided the argument is.

    • WOW! You opened my eyes! That's atleat 50% of the arugments with my boyfriend, and that's EXACTLY how I feel afterward. Thank you.

    • i am ALWAYS the one to stop talking. A the longer I'm quiet the more he pecks on! When does the embarrassment kick in?

    • yeah it would be way better if guys kept quiet in fights..

What Guys Said 13

  • I remember times when I would be so mad that I would just cease all forms of comunication, like not speak or even move at all for like a minute or two, until I calm down enough. Then I would just walk away.

  • I do - I have a terrible habit of bottling up the anger and never releasing it. He may not like confrontation or getting irate at you because he likes you.

  • There is no "good" way to break up. Sorry but there isn't. And those that claim so have never been in a real relationship. Id stop txting too...

  • If she crossed the line, I would walk away and tell her call me or come see me when she's ready to apologize. The kind of girl I belong with would quickly realize she was wrong and apologize and I'd quickly forgive her and we'd have hot make up sex.

  • I get quiet when I'm angry because I need time to sort my thoughts out, I don't want to be around that person for a while, and I don't want to say something that I would regret later. So yeah, getting quiet and wanting to be left alone is what I do when I'm angry at something.

    So yeah, I'd say it's normal for a guy to not talk after a while of fighting. It just gets annoying to be yelling and fighting about something, so we'd rather just stop it and let things cool down. Fighting is frustrating and after a while it just seems like the better route to go and do something else.

  • never talk to any1 when I'm annoyed, if I do they do something slightly annoyin I would likely yell, suppose to guys its a means of protecting people from themselves.

    • yea me neither, I just get away from them. I don't want to end up yelling, & hurting them, for something I could just as easily, walk off.

  • yu better apologize...

    when I get quiet it means: get ready to kiss my feet.

    it sounds like you know you messed up and hurt his feelings so if yu wnt to hear from him you have to apologize

  • Yup.

  • YES. I hate to show people when I lose my temper, and will almost never raise my voice in anger.

  • Yes very quiet. I don't fight back and act cool. Then she calls back and apologizes for some reason.

  • I keep dead quiet...and then I POUNCE!

  • I would get quiet if I were mad for fear of saying something that I can't take back.


What Girls Said 5

  • If YOU know YOU were at fault, I'd apologize. I don't even know where to begin if HE was at fault with the arguement.

    In my situation...a guy friend *whom I like and I think he likes me* hurt MY feelings recently and I was upset and left. I came back a few days later to just move forward and be happy and positive. I didn't mention the "fight" because I just wanted to move on. It wasn't even a fight, he said something STUPID, it hurt, he didn't realize he hurt me, and sat there dumbfounded. So when I went in all nice, talkative and positive, he was REALLY quiet. He'd let me talk and what not but you could tell that he was reallllly uncomfortable for me to be there. He was quiet, kept to himself and watched games on his phone. The stupid thing is that he is all sweet and nice if someone approached him or would get into discussions if people wanted to talk. Yet with me?...he was really uncomfortable to talk to me. Couldn't even look at me! YET, he wasn't angry because he was still nice enough to tell me to have a good night and enjoy my evening but didn't look at me when he said it. He talked to the table as he said it! What on earth?! So what do I do? I haven't even bothered to text him, I won't go in to our hang out spot, I'm assuming from these posts, that I too should give him space?

  • i usually just keep quiet and pretend as though nothing has happened whenever I get mad.

  • I am always quiet when I am mad.. I'm afraid I might say something he wouldn't like.. but sometimes we just burst...

  • I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I get into a argument (big or little) with my boyfriend he goes drop dead quiet. Its as if I'm talking to a wall. I get frustrated, as does he and then meaner thigns get said. Thngs only ever get solved between us when we see each other in person, the next time. During the argument, if I ask him what he's thinking, or how he sees the situation all he can answer is "I don't know" and he wants to drop the argument and have his time to himself. I hate fighting with my boyfriend, so I just want to talk it out, and solve the issue, when he just wants to leave me and himself alone to settle the frustration.(Better to talk when your calm and thought things through than in the heat of the moment...right?)

    So I've learned to just shut up, and let him be, if he has something to say he'll say it when he's ready, and you two will eventually solve it. Give him his space for a while, but don't let the thoughts and argument build up(talk it out later) because it will make matters worse for the next time. It may be hard because you just want it to all go away, but sometimes only time will let a small or big matter heal itself. Guys are stubborn and just like us girls, we have our own way of dealing with different situations.

  • My boyfriend always stays wuiet when he is mad.