Is she trying to make me jealous?

Question

There's this girl I really love and to cut the story short, I think she knows I like her because I told her best friend (bit at the same time I told her not to tell).

Anyways, I go up to her campus and she texts me if I'm there. I tell her I am, but I'm busy. She says you have to come now about three to four times. So, I go over to her place because she was "eager" to see me.

It's just me and her alone, but all she talks about are guys and how funny, smart, an buff they are. The next day she tells me to come over and meet her guy friend. I go and she basically pays most of her attention to him!

Is she making me jealous or trying to blow me off? It's killng me inside...

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Accepted Answer

YES SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS

I've met many many women in my life, and this always creeps up every once in a while. Here is what she is trying to do.

She likes you, but she has doubts about her feeling. Women are very emotional and follow their hearts and trust their own gut instincts, they also value each others opinions to the highest degree. If a girl is completely infatuated with you, she will do the dumbest sh*t to get your attention. If she has mixed feelings, you are going to get mixed signals.

This girl likes you but doesn't like you enough to not play games. She is testing you. Most likely, there are moments where you might be doing something awkward or showing lack of confidence in something that is causing her to react that way. She is trying to figure out whether you are a confident male like she feels sometimes, or whether its all an act you are putting up. She is also trying to let you know, (whether its true or not) that other men are attracted to her and she is trying to analyze your behavior, SHE IS TRYING TO GET YOU TO REACT in a way that will help her make a decision of whether she wants to be with you. She might also be trying to get you to be more aggressive and assertive with her. The worst thing you can do is show jealousy or signs of weakness. Women often try to get a guy to react on everything. However, if we DO it, we are the bad guys. But women think they can get away with it. You need to act like you don't even give a sh*t, acknowledge what she is saying but don't ignore it. Ignoring is also a REACTION. Next time she pulls this sh*t smile and say something witty, through her off balance, then quickly change the subject. Say something like "hey we have so much in COMMON, lots of guys love you just as much as women love me!" followed by "since we have so much in common, I don't ever see us working out together in a relationship" then give her a dirty grin, guaranteed she'll call you over tonight and suck your balls dry. The key is to ACKNOWLEDGE-> CALL HER OUT -> SHIFT THE CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T CARE.

Cheers.

Phoenix52 · Accepted Answer

She's playing you. She tells youto come over, and you obey her.

Therefore, she owns you.

I've had this scenario happen to me before, but I used it to my advantage and turned the tables. A girl I was interested in wouldn't come out and meet me at the place I was at. She told me to come to see her. So I did. Then I started acting bored, and told her to buy me a drink. Then I told her to dance with me, which she didn't want to. So I started flirting with other girls and checked up on her to keep teasing her.

I ended up leaving with a random girl. And the next day, this girl texted me up, asking how my night went. Then she started engaging me more. So the next time I wanted her to come out, she did. No flaking, no questions asked. She followed orders and one thing led to another.

So what you need to do is stop being in 'love' with this chick. Don't be emotional from the start, otherwise you'll get burned for it. Be in control, don't play to a girl's frame, and use a girl for everything you want out of her. It's called being a 'jerk' and taking what you want, and giving almost nothing in return. If she wants something out of you, she has to earn it first.

And don't ever get jealous of a girl talking about other dudes. If she wants them, she can have them. But if you want her, you'll get her. Sooner or later. Just be persisitent and get her to chase you. And use cocky-funny flirting or teasing to get her more interested.

oneforthetruth · Accepted Answer

Girls generally don't go out of their way to make another guy jealous, what we girls, tend to do is try and get you to notice us, not make you jealous. I'll give you an example:

I'm sitting in a room full of people and my 'crush' is among these people. There are guys and girls. If the guy I like is talking to a lot of the girls, and seeming to be having fun with them, then I would perhaps mirror his way, and start larking about with the lads (I get on better with blokes anyway, so I know this is a personality trait I own anyway)

Now you might say this is one in the same thing, but its not. Because I would be the one a little jealous that he wasn't talking to me, but the other girls. So by larking about with the guys, he might look over to see whose making these guys laugh, and he'll see me...see my point.

I am not the kind of girl who would plonk myself among the other girls in order to mussel in, because I would find that I am acting desparate, and that's never a good look, and other girls would probably sense it, and then up their game.

Girls tend to want to make other girls jealous, not the guy they like...IF I knew the guy liked me, but wasn't making a move (then I would make the move) but some girls might then dilebratly make you jealous with just one other guy, not all of them.

Guys make girls jealous when in a group of girls, to show they are loved by many, and if you want him then you'll have to work for it.

Girls will find one guy that they have no interest in,but get on with, to flirt outragiously in front of you with, so you take note, at what this other guy might be having, and that you're missing. Too many guys is too much flirting, and the guy we actually like might think we are 'easy' and that's never a good look.

CuddlyCarla · Accepted Answer

Your first wrong move was to tell her best friend and not her directly. Women lose respect when a man has to third party his feelings instead of being brave enough to tell her to her face. Don't do this again, it doesn't work in your favor. Why did you allow her to keep talking about other guys? That should have been an opportunity for you to redirect the conversation and start talking about how you felt about her. It sounds like she was trying to get you to say how you felt by seeing if you had any reaction to her talking about other guys. But if you just sat there and listened and never talked about how you felt, now you are both being indirect and playing games. Yes, that includes you too - you played with her feelings when you told her friend and not her what was on your mind. Now, it sounds like it's turning into a two-sided lame game. If you like the girl, just tell her already.If she starts talking about another guy, cut her off and remind her you want to see her this weekend and aren't interested in hearing about other guys, you are interested in her. Assert yourself! Stop playing the games, both of you. Get together or move on.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Awe please, please, leave her be.

She’s trying to make you jealous, but she’s not even being nice about it.

As a lady I can tell you right now, that’s not how INTERESTED girls try to make guys jealous. Theirs is usually a light and nearly bearable tease, but she’s gone too far and to invite you to watch and be a terrible host.

That’s beyond cruel. Please, please… don’t date her. Plenty of nicer fish in the seas.

:[

Guy13 · Answer

No PhD required. Congratulations 🎊 as you have been assigned to the missing gay friend 🪑. Please be seated in the F🖕U Zone. You are not 30 in college chasing 20

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Answer

Yea bro, I can't believe you don't know girls do this all the f***ing time. You going over to her house to meet her guy friend was a F***ING TRAP, that you fell for. She is trying to make you jealous to see what your reaction would be when she talks about other guys, and if you have the right reaction, you pass the test and then she will finally touch your balls.

Dude, next time she talks about her guy friends pull the homo card, say "wow he sounds sexy, let me get his number if he's this hot" then change the subject and take control of the conversation. don't show jealousy. Next time, make friends with like 9 girls and ask them out all out at the same time. then ask this girl of yours to join you and some friends for drinks, but don't let her know whose going to be there, when she shows up watch her reaction when you got nine girls around you, also, be nice to her but be a bit detached, flirting more with these other girls than her. She will become jealous and most likely give you a call to say what's up later on in the night, guaranteed.

justathought191 · Answer

Depends on the girl. I feel like I have a tendency to flirt with other guys (as a fashion of making  a guy I'm interested in jealous) when I'm feeling unsure about how he feels about me. Of course, another reason a girl might flirt with other guys around you is because she wants you to understand that even though she likes you, she's not ready to be tied down yet. The tricky part is that outwardly these behaviors all look like the exact same thing, which isn't exactly fair to the handsome gents in our worlds. So I'll take a moment to apologize for the kind girls of the fairer race. We don't mean to because confusion. We just forget that you don't read signs as easily (to be read at all) as we do.

May31 · Answer

There's 4 different reasons that she might be flirting with this guy.

1. She finds him attractive & she wants to date him/get to know him.

2. She flirts with every guy & does it for fun

3. She flirts without knowing that she's flirting. (I guess sometimes I might do this sometimes but other times I do it intentionally-see #4. Once I was talking to this guy & my friend was walking with us - this was a while ago, like last year, and later when my friend called me, he told me that I was flirting but I didn't see how...)

Then there's no.4 which is the most common

4. She's flirting with him because she's testing you. Based on how you react, she'll know if you're interested in her or not & then she moves on & probably starts treating you like she's mad about something, & you're left wondering what the heck just happened? So be careful

jensillar · Answer

I'm pretty sure she knows. I know someone who does the exact same thing to her guy friends. She'll find out someone likes her, calls him to hang out, says a comment on another guy, see him get uncomfortable, and then act as if she didn't know anything. She comes to me saying she was clueless about it even though she had told me about the news the day before. From what I'm seeing, the girl just wants to see how you'll react. She's probably extremely flattered when hearing someone likes her and wants to find a way to get the guy himself to say something about it. But most of the time, that's as far as it goes.

december1990 · Answer

well if she's flirting with other guys... she may not even like you or... she may just be REALLY immature thinking that your gonna chase after her more because she's flirting with other guys... I think that's kinda immature... or she may not think you like her that seriously... so she's flirting with other guys but honestly if a girl likes you I don't think she'd flirt with anyone else... unless she's trying to get more of your attention but that's the wrong way or immature way of getting your attention but I seriously would question if she likes you... if your unsure ask her... who knows.. maybe she doesn't even know you like her maybe she just sees you as a friend and thinks you only think of her as a friend

ImSoSozzled · Answer

Well you can count on her best friend having told her. No secret is safe with a girl, especially if it's about her best friend.  I don't know what this girl's problem is but she is kind of being a bitch. I feel like she's trying to make you jealous because she would most likely just ignore you if she didn't like you. If I were you, I would just go ahead and make a move so you'll know and won't have to deal with this (although she sounds like one of those girls that will test you like crazy if you're in a relationship with her so be ready for that) . If she won't say yes at this point, she probably never will so go ahead and get it out of the way.

shae02 · Answer

Dude this girl is totally messed up. I have no clue what game she's playing at. Maybe she just wants you to be friends, I really don't know...my only advise for you is to forget her because any girl who's ready to play manipulative games is really not worth it. Good luck mate

Vegasrunner · Answer

So much is wrong w/ this story, for starters u sound like you are more in your 20's than 30's. because how could you not already understand that this is a common tact used by women. Who tells a girls friend that they "like them" that's weak. Reading your story, I don't think this girl likes u at all, what she likes is the free attention you provide her, and in return u get to hear about how she behaves around real men. You're going to have to go no contact w/ this girl for at least a month, and when she does reach out keep the conversation brief, and set a definitive date, if says no, just say "Ok I understand and don't accept any other time from her.

Anonymous · Answer

So, the girl you ""love"" calls you around just to tell you how much she likes other guys? you should ask her friend to tell the girl what she thinks of you, that way you get your answer...if she said no and she likes you as a friend say "cool, fair enough I kinda liked you that's all no big deal, wanted to get it out of the way kinda thing" :) ...

Personally I don't like to make moves on girls in the friend circle...cos if anything goes wrong words spread man...just remember girls don't keep secrets "but" she is telling you fake secrets to see if she can trust you! there is a saying "tell your freind a lie, if they keep it a secret tell them the truth"

everyone gets rejection so don;t feel bad if it didn't work out...cos your a man you can handle it.

lericah · Answer

She's making you jeolous and I think she wants a reaction from you. She probably wants you to take charge. Ask her out on a date and such. I'll give this to you though that was definitely an odd way to go about things. I myself like 50/50 relationships were neither person is an aggresor exclusively

Living-the-ADvenTURe · Answer

Seems like she's just messing with you. I'm sure her friend told her you liked her, and she probably LOVES the attention. She is probably also trying to make you feel jealous so that she can get even more attention from you. Just don't give it to her. Girls like that don't deserve your attention to feed their big ego.

shiregal · Answer

i'm sorry to tell you this but from what I have read it sounds like she is just being mates with you and talking to you as if you were a girlfriend.  I really feel for you because I am in the same position except with my guy friend who I hope to be more - he has talked to me about girls he likes and I just have to sit there and be the best friend I can be to him.  if you think about it, most of the guys this girl likes she would have seen out whilst drunk or just in passing.  your friendship will outlive any of the flings she will go for.  in the mean time you should try and move on, maybe try meeting girls who have the same interests as you?

Coerce · Answer

(First post, accidentally posted as a comment on someone else's response by accident. Can't seem to find how to delete it haha.)

There's always the chance she is using YOU to get the other guy jealous, by showing him she has guys she hangs out with. Probably was hoping you would flirt with her so he would see she has guys trying to get her all the time. Either way she is playing games and that's not a good indicator of a person you want to get into a relationship with. They love to mess with guys just to get a reaction out of them

b33t1t · Answer

Oh she knows. And--pardon my language--she's a total bitch. Think about it; if she didn't like you and was just trying to "blow you off" she would just straight up ignore/reject your advances. What does that leave you with? Some immature/manipulative tactic to try and make you jealous so that she can find out how much you're willing to bend. No one deserves being mindf***ed, especially if your bringing love into the equation.

soleillauren · Answer

From what I'm hearing, I think your in the dreaded friends zone with her. Even if her friend might of told her, she is treating you like a guy friend. Cause if she is willing to talk to you about guys and who she thinks is cute and intruducing you to her other guy friends then I'm sorry to say she sees you as a friend and nothing more. You should tell her your feeling for her, take her somewhere away from anyone else and have a heart to heart talk.

martyfellow · Answer

Most of the time she genuinely likes the guy, even if she is trying  to get your attention.   So YOU need to pay attention, because it could easily lead to you never seeing her again!  The other guy isn't going to know her intentions, so he will proceed accordingly, and before she knows it, she's no longer available to you!

TheeRockNRolla · Answer

Yes she is trying to make you jealous if she knows you like her. Ask her best friend what's going on with her and why is she all of a sudden introducing you to guys? You can also just not answer her text, calls, and don't hang out with her anymore. If she knows that you like her then she is obviously getting some kind of thrill outta this. Some girls are like that, don't let it bother you, just move on to someone else.

snowboarder720 · Answer

oh my... yeah man, it sounds like she's playing you like a puppet. Show her that your not just someone to throw around. Next time she texts tell her your studying with a "friend" or something, try to avoid telling her that its a girl, that way she'll keep guessing what your exactly doing and that you aren't just a game.

sounds like she's trying SO hard to make you jelous. I wouldn't put up with it.

Is she trying to make me jealous?

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