Girl in class suddenly started acting weird, went from flirty to avoiding?

[Anonymous]

There's this really awesome shy girl in my class, who always glanced at me during class, acted very flirty and positive, approached me whenever she got the chance, her eyes used to light up when we met etc.

I think it's pretty safe to say that we both liked each other.

And then something happened, I don't know what exactly.. she barely acknowledges me anymore, whenever we are close she seems really nervous and can barely look at me. If she ever looks at me, she looks like a sad puppy... but instead her friends seem to observe me a lot lately.

I'm very nervous and afraid of rejection by nature, so it's possible that I made her believe that I'm not interested, even though I flirted back - I didn't make a move.

I try to not look at her or approach her now, as I don't want to creep her out if she doesn't like me anymore.

I'm not sure what this means..did she give up on me, did she find somebody else, is she sending signals that she isn't interested anymore, or does she just believe that I don't like her?

I don't know what to do...this makes me a little uncomfortable and sad, since I really like her. I can't stop thinking about her.

I just want her to know that I like her, but at the same time I don't want to annoy her if she doesn't want me anywhere close.

Bleh.. any suggestions on what to do? Should I just give up? I'm terrible at this.

[AdeleHW]

Oh man, I'm going through the exact same thing with a guy. EXACT.

I acted the way you described the girl is acting, here, and now I've gone cold on him, avoiding him, can't make eye contact, etc when I am crazy about him. And I'm a shy girl, too.

Here's what happened: I freaked out and assumed (with no evidence whatsoever) that he knew I liked him and that I should back off. I got nervous around him all of a sudden and couldn't be nice anymore. I figure cutting all contact and ignoring him would show him I don't like him. Denying those feelings to myself has only made them stronger to the point where I am avoiding him more and more (won't even say "hello.") and he tries to talk and smile and make eye contact and I don't return any of it. I'm clearly saying "I hate you" when the opposite is the truth.

It's her, not you. She has assumed something (such as you know she likes you but you don't like her back and maybe she's embarrassed and doubting herself) so she's gone cold on you. It's classic nervous, shy girl behavior. It's hard... because if she's doing what I'm doing (and it sounds like she is) she's in the habit now of avoiding you. You're keeping your distance because you're responding to how she's treating you and you're just as nervous and afraid as she is, but she's thinking it's because you don't like her. Someone has to break the awkwardness once and for all. Trust me, don't stay away. She wants you to come to her.

And if I'm wrong (but I don't think I am because I do the exact same thing) and she doesn't like you and she went cold because she worried she was giving you the wrong impression, you'll know it. The spark won't be there anymore and then you can give up. But if you approach her again and act like you two did before, if she likes you, she won't be able to hide it. I know I wouldn't. But he's doing what you're doing.

Good luck to all of us! Hahaha.

[ZackF]

ok so suppose I?m that guy and I see you are avoiding me but I don't know why, and I back off because I assume you hate me for some weird reason... you see me going cold, what would you do or think? do you just move on? I?m asking because I may be in a similar painful situation lol

[AdeleHW]

I'd ignore you harder, which secretly upsets me because I like you, and I'm wondering "Why is he such an asshole?" And you're wondering "Why is she such an asshole?" and neither of us know the true feelings of the other one. It's a vicious cycle!.

When either party keeps it up, it's at the risk of the other one moving on or finding someone else. I KNOW it's painful... and I hope we can both do something about it. Tell me, despite liking her, are you pissed off at this girl?

[ZackF]

well to be honest I was pissed off at her, I thought she was being cruel I mean if she doesn't like me why the flirting and all the signs of interest? but then I read what you posted and made sense although it sounds a little weird (ill never understand you girls), but it fits at least in my case, and now all I want to do is see her again and take the initiative its like you said somebody has to make a move!

[AdeleHW]

Hahaha yes it sounds absolutely insane to behave like that and if I wasn't doing it, I'd never believe anyone would do it. Of course, she may just have lost interest in you, but if she was flirting and showing signs of interest then stopped abruptly, there's a very high chance she's done what I am. And in that case, yes, she'd love for you to make a move. But careful: if she's in the habit of showing disinterest now, it might take her awhile to stop. I haven't! LOL. Good luck.

[sweetshygirl123]

you shouldn't give up

there is still hope she likes u

since I don't know the entire situation I can't give you a 100% answer

i think you should let her know that you like her

but don't tell her directly

giving big hints would work

us girls are smart you know

just for the info exactly how did you guys act around each other

maybe you could be wrong and she was just being friendly

im not trying to dissapointing you or anything

im just stating out all the possibilites

im not being helpful am i?

anyways if you think you really like her you should give her big hints

just to be safe

hope it helps!

xx

[Anonymous]

This might be all in your head and she might not actually like you like that. I tend to do that when I feel guys get the wrong impression from me and take my friendliness as flirty when really i'm just being polite. When I get the impression that a guy i don't like likes me, I start to act cold to discreetly show him that I do not like him that way because if I continue to act nice and friendly, he would think that I like him back.
I'm a shy person too and believe me. If a person likes you enough, they will show it and you will know without any self-doubt. This girl clearly is trying to tell you to leave her alone without actually saying it.

This is the truth and a lot of people try to make up excuses in their head to spare their feelings. Just move on.

[Margaret2015]

She is nervous about what her friends think about you. She likes you. Just tell her that you have feelings for her before it's too late:) Hope I could help.

[Abigail19]

She probably is shy and thinks she is annoying you