My Heart is so broken, I feel numb?

I am still so hurt. There really isn't anything that I can do I guess. I decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend after a year because he says that he isn't ready to consider being married to me. The real problem is that although we share everything together, despite our distance relationship he has not mentioned a plan to bring us closer together, he continues to visit me here but that is where it seems to end. I discussed this months ago putting my hurt aside. I assumed since he constantly says he loves me and I know he ft in school he can't whisk me away . I did expect the commitment to evolve but it hasn't. I understand a year isn't a long time but we are both 40 & so much has happened we've spent the last year talking about everything and becoming extremely intimate. Now he says we are not compatible! I am walking around like everything is okay but I am such a wreck. I know he could do more to convince me that he wants to salvage our relationship but he isn't.

I know that I should just walk away but its so difficult. Tonight my heart broke again, I looked at the website for the resort he is going to without me in a few weeks. It is so beautiful, I began to cry softly then sob and then belted out so loud I scared myself, it was from so deep down inside my heart, I couldn't stop thinking, " How could he dream of experiencing something so beautiful and not even ask me if I would join him?" He still slips up in I'm and calls me honey and he says it hurts when I call him buy his name. I am so mixed up and trying to be strong. I didn't I'm him 10 minutes tonight although I wanted to talk much longer and fix this mess. I want to see his face and it really hurts not to. Instead out of frustration I told him that I was getting ready for bed so he said he wouldn't keep me up, that he just wanted to see how I was doing.? He then told me to have a nice weekend, its only Thursday night.

I just feel like such a fool!:(


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know its hard and I know it hurts but it will get better.

    Keep in mind, he blatantly told you he doesn't see himself marrying you, and has not mentioned a plan that includes bringing you closer together. After a year, your relationship should have at least progressed to a point where you have some idea of whether or not you want to be in someone's future or not. It looks like he decided, and unfortunately it isn't the answer you want.

    Sometimes the people we love and see ourselves with, are not the ones who see themselves with us, marrying us, and committing to us. Its horrible, but it happens. I'm sure there have been many men who maybe secretly or not so secretly loved you, and you didn't feel the same back. You cannot completely blame someone for not feeling the same.

    What you need to do, is to, yes, let yourself feel sad for a bit. Also, never tell yourself that its "too late" or that you will never find someone. Yes you will. It is nearly impossible to go your whole life, or the rest of you life with no one at any point. Do you really think that in 5 years you will still be completely alone, never having had ANYONE in that 5 years? You WILL meet people, you will find them attractive and want to get ot know them. Not all will work but you will get back out there.

    Its hard now because you almost don't want to feel better. You feel like as long as you are mad you can keep your walls up and ensure it won't happen again. I know how you feel. But, its important you keep logical. You won't die, you will be happy again, and someone will make you even happier than this guy did.