ive rejected a fair amount of guys in my whole 20 years of living and I kinda feel bad afterward. I know some guys have a hard time apporaching girls they like due to fear of rejection so how do you feel when you get rejected by a girl you like? and how long does it take for you to get over it
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It depends how you rejected them.
A quick and decisive rejection is better than a maybe-you-have-a-chance-but-oh-wait-who-am-I-fooling rejection.
I think if you can make up your mind quickly like a guy does, you shouldn't worry too much about hurting people when you reject them.
The problem is when it's pretty much inevitable that you will reject a certain guy (whether you realize it or not) but you hold-out and pretend you're giving him a chance, when really the chance he's getting is less than 1-in-a-million that he could do anything to keep you from rejecting him.
You know, if you're going to give someone a chance, you need to give them a REAL chance. The worst thing is for a guy to feel he did something wrong, when in reality, he didn't do anything wrong because you never really were considering him as a viable option to begin with. Not only that, but it wastes both his time and your time for you to give him that false hope.
If you got interviewed for a bunch of jobs, but in each case, the interviewer had already decided you weren't qualified just by looking at your resume, that would really suck, wouldn't it? That's why for most jobs that are competitive, they only interview a very small percentage of the applicants.
In my youth and early teens, it would take a few days to gather myself back up.
I was the kid that wanted to be everybody's friend, the kid that wanted to be best buddies with everyone I came in contact with. I actually cared about that A LOT more than most people in my age group.
When a girl would reject me, I'd think about "why doesn't she like me? Am I not likable anymore? What can I do to get her to like me, since there MUST be a problem with what I am doing?"
Then ~age 16 up to today, my mentality shifted. NOW...if a girl didn't like me, SHE'S the one with the problem, not me.
Nowadays, I think, "She doesn't like me? What the f*ck is wrong with her? Does she not know a 'catch' when she sees one? If she doesn't notice that I'm a 'catch', then she's probably 'damaged goods' with psychological problems, which actually saves me a waste of time."
A rejection...i can get over in a few minutes now.
Talk about a 180 in mind process, right? I went to wanting to befriend EVERYONE...to seeing myself as a 'prize', and dismissing people that don't want me.
But the degree of hurt a rejected guy feels depends on how emotional and sensitive he is. Philanderers who get rejected hardly feel any emotional pain, quiet and shy guys would probably take rejection much worst and in the long run, and it may possibly lead to depression.
I have experience in and so I learned about "Law of average" once you know about that and understand as long as you keep going you will reach success and get better on the way you become a lot more numb.I always been pretty outgoing and since high school I would talk to random strangers,so for me the numb feeling build up since high school.There are over 1,000 reasons why a girl would say no and I rejected a few girls which I didn't find attractive and even introduced one to a friend and they went out,so things workout in interesting ways sometimes.Rejection = look at the mistake,learn from it and then get back in there in till you reach your goal(Dating,girlfriend,sex,friends,etc).
It does make your world explode and make you feel like "wow did that just happen?". But as far as my experience goes I got over it...other guys I've know took it more harder and took a long time like a month.
Tell him that you like him as a friend. NEVER reject a guy in a rude way, that's the worst thing that a woman can do to a guy and vise versa. You'll be hurting them not physically but in a way that's a whole lot worse than a painful punch, have a good conversation with him, thank him for being a good friend, and don't ignore him either, that hurts their feelings too, tell him that you don't feel the same way, but try to cheer him up, it'll make them feel much better, same thing for guys: don't hurt your admirer's feelings, who ever feels that rejection isn't a big deal has never truly been in love.
Wow... I'm reading these responses about a guy getting over it in days, a week or a month. But I remember one guy who still hadn't gotten over me after 2 years... (Although of course other guys seemed to get over me quickly enough.)
In high school (when I was 16) I rejected a guy who asked me out. For the next couple years, he continued to watch me in a way that suggested he was pining over me. Then one day (when I was 18) he listed all my qualities and basically asked me out again - almost 2 years after I had rejected him before. I said "no thanks" for the same reasons as I had said so before.
So was this highly unusual? For a guy to take so long to get over a crush?