Is it bad to flirt with someone not long after you just broke up with someone?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend broke up with me over a week ago and this guy and I started talking on the net for a few days and ended up flirting..is that bad Because I haven't been broken up with my boyfriend that long?it's just flirting this guy wants to meet up though but I'm not going to just go meet him like that,that quickly!I wouldn't move on that quickly either!

[zombiefood]

The guys are right, it's not bad at all.

I started flirting about a week after my last relationship ended and I started a new relationship about two or three weeks later. Mind you I love this kid and we're still together today (going on one year in a few days). So it clearly wasn't a rebound. Just don't get into serious flirting/expressing interest unless you're ready to start a new relationship.

You may feel like you want to but really make sure you're ready because it's not fair to date him then throw him away just because now you realize you just wanted someone to ease the transition into single life.

I dated my ex for about a year and three months and we were really serious. But after we broke up I just... The feelings just left. I was hurt, I cried, all that kind of stuff- I also got pissed when he was saying he loved some other chick and dating her two days after he broke it off with me- but I got over it. Each of us takes different amounts of time to get over and recover from a previous relationship. When you're okay on your own feet again and you can come to terms with the past relationship and talk about it easily and see the good and the bad then you're ready for your next relationship. Until then just stick with friends.

But no, flirting isn't bad, so long as he knows it's just that.

[Asker]

Thanks,yeah the guy doesn't really get why I won't meet up with him,even though I don't plan on getting in a relationship anytime soon,I'm just not ready..I am still a bit hurt and I so just need time with friends and time to myself..I've already said to him I have my reasons and I haven't been single long..but he has just said why wait?It would be nice for him to wai,I don't expect him too..it's hard to know what to say without him thinking oh she doesn't want to meet me,or thinking I'm not

[Asker]

interested!

[zombiefood]

Just tell him the truth. Tell him you're still not over your ex, that a part of your heart still belongs to him and you don't think that's fair. You can't get into a relationship if you aren't putting your full self forward. Tell him you don't want to be with any one until you can be with them completely, not hanging on to your last boyfriend. Just tell him you're not ready to move on yet, but when you are you'd love to see him. Hopefully he'll understand.

[wisdomgirl]

You do what's best for you. It seems your ex and you have both moved on. So why not? You are in luck, another guy is heading your way. But make sure you tell him you are over your ex, if you are. But tell him the truth if you are not over him.

[themastaplan]

flirting happens all the time, in relationships, outside of relationships, all the time you see it everywhere

so no this isn't bad, its boosting your confidence.

BUT, you need to really think where your head is...i mean are you using this guy to make yourself feel OK after the break up - aka a rebound...or can you see yourself potentially being with this guy? if you can't then you shouldn't take it much further than flirting...afterall you're still getting over a break up, you can't be over your ex that fast

give it time, take it slow, don't rush!

[Asker]

Thanks ,yeah I was really hurt at first but I've realized it was for the best so it doesn't hurt as much!I'm going to take it slow I wouldn't be in a new relationship for a long time at least..this guy still wants to meet up though and I'm not after a rebound!

[themastaplan]

so meet up with him, BE HONEST and TRUTHFUL...tell him what happened to you...that you don't want him to be a rebound and end up hurting him, but that you think he's a great guy and you want to take things slow (IF that's what you really want)...you can't be angry with someone for being honest, you'll gain his respect

[Asker]

thank you!yeah I might do that!

[superuss]

It does not make you a bad person, for flirting with someone right after you broke up. Just make sure it is not a rebound thing, or else you and this new guy could get hurt. Also the break up could have been long over due. That might be why you are getting over your ex so fast.

[Asker]

Very good point,I think I knew it was for the best so that is also why it's not affecting me as much as I thought it would.I wouldn't make this guy a rebound I'm not like that..I just felt bad in a way but I'm at least single so I can flirt if I want !