Husband calls to check up on me all the time?

This might get a little confusing, but I will try my best. Currently, I'm separated from my husband, who lives in another state, and he constantly calls me from his friend's phone or his mom's phone to check up on me. The only thing is that sometimes he will not call me at all, and then all of a... Show More

It's obvious that our relationship is up. I know for sure that I just want to go down there and get my things and put them in storage. Then, I will come back up here and file for divorce. I should have done that a long, long time ago, but I was hoping that he would change. It never happened and it never will. We also tried counseling, and he doesn't want to be a part of it. He doesn't want help; he doesn't think that he has a problem (with drugs, abuse, etc.); and I'm much happier without him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I first considered telling you "think about it and decide what you want", but then I read the bit about the furniture and realized this is over, over, over.

    Make the break as clean as possible. That means getting your things without bothering to snoop. It means not caring, much less discussing, whether he's cheating or not. In fact, that's not your problem anymore. He's going to be your ex soon enough anyway. Let him go.

    It also means to stop answering his calls, and communicating with him through your divorce attorney. Not only is this just good practice, but it'll make it easier to create the distance you need to get on with your life.

    This isn't a sound marriage, and hasn't been for some time. You know this. He's not changing, trying to make it better, investing in it. If anything, he's doing the opposite. There is nothing whatever to be gained in prolonging this, no getting better. End it now.

    I am sorry.

    • I have seriously been contemplating this divorce issue for quite some time now, and, after the 3 minute conversation that I had with him today, it's so obvious that there's no love in the "i love you's" we say to each other. It is just a phrase being said because both of us know that it's over just we are too afraid to let say it. So, I guess this means, I have to be the one to say it. It is over and has been over for a really long time.

    • I'm sorry. It's so sad.