Girls, why do you play hard to get? How long do you keep up the game? And have you ever had it backfire on you?
Playing hard to get.
Girls, why do you play hard to get? How long do you keep up the game? And have you ever had it backfire on you?
I think a lot of girls do this because this is what society has told us to do. Also, men make it hard for us not to. I never played hard to get. I would be straighforward and let a guy know exactly how I felt about him. So I think a lot of girls do this, because they are afraid of getting hurt. They want you to make a move first, and not make it look like they're too desperate or clingy. I've heard that men hate desperate women. That's the worst thing a girl can do. They like girls who seem uninterested or just kinda casual. That way the men can be macho and ask a girl out. (This is at least what my guy friends have told me anyway.) I find it very sexist and dumb.
But anyway, I have never played hard-to get. Although my strategy of just being straightforward has actually worked. But I guess the best thing to do is just take the plunge and if you like a girl let her know right away. What's the worst that could happen? She doesn't like you? Then she wasn't worth your time anyway.
one reason [usually my reason] is because we're afraid that that certain guy doesn't really like us and we don't want to scare him off by going after him.
and I suggest for you is if you really liked that girl - or any girl - that you don't stop pursuing her unless she TOLD you that she doesn't like you like that.
Did you actually ask the girl out, let her know you like her as more than a friend, etc.? if not then maybe she didn't get the idea. and I'm not talking about playing games. and if she tells you "no" or that she just likes you as a friend without making any excuses she's not playing hard to get; she's just not interested.
Never actually asked her, never got enough signs that she was interested (enough being 1 or more).
However I stopped playing the game years ago, and I'm only 20, so I was young and stupid (and kinda still am).
Just today I got a girl's number, she's been sitting next to me in class for the past semester, usually within arms length, and paying a lot of attention to her hair. Other than those two things she seemed pretty uninterested.
I can't follow your reasoning:
"we're afraid that that certain guy doesn't really like us and we don't want to scare him off by going after him." If a guy *does not* like you, it doesn't matter how you approach him. he's not interested. it's impossible to "scare him off" because he's not interested.
"I suggest for you is if you really liked that girl - or any girl - that you don't stop pursuing her unless she TOLD you that she doesn't like you like that."
this is a double standard.
it is not men's responsibility to guess your interest level. women don't have the right to be withholding and capricious, yet simultaneously expect that we're going to pursue you unless you directly say "I'm not interested in dating and romance with you."
I never ask a girl out twice.
playing hard-to-get is disrespectful. it willfully keeps someone confused for your benefit.
"it's impossible to "scare him off" because he's not interested.": that makes no sense at all! of course a girl can scare a guy off by going after him and especially if he's not interested in the first place.
and girls like being pursued as long as she's the least bit interested in the guy in the first place, but usually it's hard to tell her level of interest.
I'm not saying that girls SHOULD play really hard to get but instead this is one big reason why they do.
...also since 2 people have given me up arrows [which is rare, I usually don't get any up or down at all] I bet that many people do agree with me.
Have to agree with KnifeParty. If a guy isn't interested in you, you're going to get the same result whether you show interest or not, and not showing interest isn't going to get him to notice you, it makes no sense.
You make a good point about if she tells him she's not interested, but you can't just keep a guy guessing and expect him to like that, it pushes him away not pull him closer.
Think about it, would you waste your time on a source of frustration?
I mean that if we're not going after a guy but he still doesn't like us like that we can still be friends, whereas he would be annoyed if we do go after him...a BIG difference annoyed.
I also mean that if a girl tells a guy that she's not interested it means that she really isn't interested; it's not her way of trying to allure the guy.
And all because a girl shows no interested doesn't mean that she really isn't interested...it could be that she's too shy or doesn't want to SEEM interested.
Because I've had too many incidents where I've shown interest in the guy but that only backfired, even though at first I at least thought he was interested in me. And, like mentioned before, if the guy wasn't interested in the first place then most likely he won't gain interest simply because I show interest.
and I don't think I'm the only girl like this either.
No duh! but I mean for the ones that I'm not totally sure either way.
Opinion
0Opinion
I play hard to get so I do not seem easy. Many guys say they like the challenge of getting a girl. I keep up the game until they are just about to give up. Once they get to the breaking point they are vulnerable. That is the best time to win the heart of the guy I am trying to pursue. I have had it backfire on me a couple of times. I played the game a little bit too hard and it backfired. Guys were tired of me playing around. They wanted the real thing.
I figured that out the hard way. I have lost a lot of great guys doing that. It is okay to do the basic playing hard to get to make him want you. Once he pursue`s you I think girls should ease up.
This is what I don't understand. If the guy is already pursuing you, then you've already won his heart. At this point there is nothing to be gained and everything to lose.
Evan though I already have him, some guys like a bit of a challenge so I keep playing my game
That is why its called "playing" hard to get. It all depends on how you play your game.
That is exactly why I no longer do it.I learned my lesson the hard way
After a certain point it can start to hurt a guy if you can't read the signs. The other night one of my best buds, who btw flirts/charms with every girl he comes in contact to, was sitting next to the girl I like now , who likes me 2, and when I walked by I noticed that her hand was on his leg and they were a little too close then they pulled away when they saw me. I pretended not to notice and I'm not sure if my trust has been betrayed badly. I'm really confused
A person shouldn't do stuff to others that they don't want to be done to themselves, which leads me to this question... How did it backfired on you? Did you have guys play hard to get towards you?
If some women think it's beneath their level to work a little hard to win a second chance with a guy, then that's a turn off cause that's a girl having a big ego thinking she's more superior. That's just my opinion.
>I played the game a little bit too hard and it backfired. Guys were tired of me playing around. They wanted the real thing.
What a surprise. lol
I think playing hard to get is the worst thing a girl OR a guy can do. It's so mean. Playing games like that with people is harsh and unecessary. It's a terrible form of teasing, and it hurts bad for both people, because usually when someone is playing hard to get, I just give up, and then they are upset too because they thought they were gonna win in their little game. I tried it once because so many people do it, and it backfired big time, just don't do it.
Great answer!
I don't. It is like you said, a bad strategy. If I did, it would only be a few days, and then I would revert back to myself, because I would be afraid of backfire
i thinks it's because we're afraid of getting hurt too. If we get too close, and a guy was just leading us on, we are heartbroken. It could also be that we don't want to seem to clingy.
I don't play hard to get. I wonder why guys always do this!? haha.
Guys don't do it. We are really clumsy.
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