Why don't guys ever say anything to me?!

I've never been asked out in my life. I really wish someone would just ask me. =/ Whenever any boy that's my age looks at me they stare either like a deer in headlights for a really long time or look at me like I'm a piece of meat, but none ever ask me out. I try to be kinda flirty but I don't want to flirt with EVERYONE and have people think I'm a whore or something. One of my older boy-that's-a-friends said that I'm just too pretty and apparently that's intimidating to guys. I have a nose piercing [I wear a ring most of the time] and long dark hair and brown eyes. Am I not approachable or something? Why won't anybody ask me out?!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have a nose ring and play the electric guitar (according to your profile pics) and have really kind of daring and cool fashion sense. Most guys probably assume that you're either taken or getting some from guys in the scene. Rocker girls ARE intimidating, and you are very, very pretty on top of that.

    So you're intimidating. Okay, what now? First thing -- don't change to be "less intimidating." No need to compromise being top shelf (but don't let that go to your head). Instead, you're going to have to approach guys yourself. Yeah, yeah, "not fair" and all that -- girls usually get the easy ride of not having to face rejection themselves, but you've got the handicap of looking too awesome to overcome. (Not that I terribly pity you there. :-) It's just a burden you'll have to bear. [/flops back of hand to forehead])

    You're just going to have to suck it up and make the first move. Try to draw guys out into a conversation. Hopefully, you'll be able to separate the intimidated from the "she's not my type" that way. You're just going to have to risk rejection like a guy does most of the time. Good luck on that.

    I do wonder about the nosering, though. I wouldn't have found it attractive when I was your age, but times have changed, so I don't know if that hurts or helps. At least it matches well with your complexion, but I don't know if that's too "punk" for some guys at your age. (It'll probably go over well with college boys, though, especially if you get into the college rock scene.) Ask your girl friends about it.


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What Guys Said 9

  • here's the bottom line

    decent guys who will treat you with respect are usually too shy to actually approach you, so they stare like a deer in headlights admiring how beautiful you are but being too shy to ever take it past that

    guys who treat you like a piece of meat are the ones who approach you cause they don't care about your feelings and only want one thing and don't see anything wrong with trying to get it by any means necessary

    there is a middle ground in there but only a very very very VERY small percentage of guys fall into it. most are one or the other.

  • tbh from that pic I can't see why. maybe your too pretty and that doesn't make sense but all guys will probably think your taken or that they have no chance and don't ask from fear of rejection.

    you should be flirty extra with a guy you really like who you know is available and just slip into the conversation something like "you know what, I've never had a boyfriend" and even if its totally random and the guy is like "that was random haha" then he will know why you said it

    if he likes you he will then ask you to go out one time but not say as boyfriend/girlfriend and then just take it from there, he will lead the way most likely

    you're 16 anyway so you have plenty of time to find someone!

  • I believe you're pretty, and because of the way you dress and the ring, you're also a little intimidating. Guys have a horrible time approaching pretty girls who have a stronger, slightly intimidating look to them.

  • I don't think a girl who flirts is a whore. There are plenty of girls who are just naturally friendly. I was shy for a long time before I took an international trip and just talked to everyone. It became habit and now I strike up friendly conversations with all sorts of people, some of which are girls my age. So just start talking to guys. I don't think very many are going to be rude.

  • check out my article.


    • I just read your article and its really very good and interesting. Also, I think it applies to older guys and girls too.

    • I agree, there is no age or gender limit on it.

  • Want to go out?

  • Give it time. Within a few years I am sure you will be breaking hearts left and right.

  • You just just may be TOO DAMN HOT...It's happened to me...it's hard to say anything to a really beautiful woman, when we have a lump in our throat, our foot in our mouth, our head up our ass,...or you simply take our breath away.

    • Wow, that was a really lovely answer. No other word for it but lovely. =)

  • i can't stress it enough, all you gotta do is tone it down, toning it down will make you look less intimidating, then just flirt with the guy you like

    btw, look at our sn's almost exactly alike, were both big metalheads and my favorite band is your profile quote

    hope this helps

    • Haha, nice. woot for Metallica! but err.....how exactly should I tone it down? I don't want to actually change myself just for more male attention.

    • Show All
    • Yeah I get what you're saying. But how CAN I tone it down....seem less intimidating.......I'm completely clueless. lol.

    • Dress more casually, act a little more down to earth, flirt more, etc...,

What Girls Said 2

  • I have the same problem. I was told that I am also intimidating to guys. I was floored when I was told this.I consider myself pretty but not beautiful. And I am just not that all special for any guy to feel that way. And it really has hurt my self esteem.

  • WOMAN! Your not making any moves either! Excuse me. Just because you don't flirt doesn't mean that people that do are whores hun. Your nose ring doesn't matter. It does not make you unapproachable, as a matter of fact, it has nothin to do with if a guy likes you or not...

    Actually that's only if they are fine with facial piercings most guys I know don't really like a pierced up chick. If the guys you know don't like facial piercings. You'd end up being a turn off. Not all hot guys are rockers. Just because some dude glances at you does not mean they are looking at you like a piece of meat. If you glance at a guy, does that mean your looking at him like a piece of meat?

    There are plenty of chicks out in the world with dark hair and brown eyes & they have PLENTY of boyfriends. If a guy stares at you. REALLY STARES and you just stare bak. That's not doing anything. Also your profile name is MetalGirl14. An ur other question talks about you likin metal and such. Not every guy is lookin for a metal girl.

    At my school I just see so many chicks like u. Always bein sumthin their not. Pretending to be all interested in what every 1 else is interested in. Piles of dark makeup. (all your pics you have dark makeup on) alwayz talkin about how much there into metal and all the bands they are interested in. Instead of talking bout different interest. Sum thin other then rock or wutever you talk about.

    Tha reason ur proabably not being asked out hun. Is because there's no more interesting things about you. Your pretty. you already have that down.

    Its like your hard to determine.

    Guys probably really want to find out what interest you more.

    So give it to them!

    um. or you just end up leaving them with questions.

    Sooner or later

    they just give up.

    Also. Don't be dirty flirty. Be cute flirty.

    If your not, a guy will suspect that you are taken.

    Girls that are really dedicated to there bfs

    seem to slow down on the flirting.

    • That wasn't advice at all. are you f***ing calling me a poser bitch? wow. f*** you. that was not worth reading at all. you should've just left the last part instead wasting your time being jealous or insulting me because I'm f***ing different than you.