Why did I feel weird calling my lovers by their real name?

[CasaNorba]

i noticed this since I was 17... all the girls that I have dated or made my girlfriend I always felt weird calling them by the first names. I would call them baby, my love, etc but would always feel weird calling them by their real names. in situations I had to call them by their first name I would feel a knot in my throat, I wonder what that was all about?

[Janttu961]

I have the exact same issue. I just don't feel comfortable saying the name of the guy I like . I only say his name when I talk about him with my friends. And I feel like he doesn't like it that I don't say his name...

I don't think it's actually wrong. It's just that I like to use my nickname for him more that I like to use his real first name. But it is sometimes annoying that I ''can't say it''. You know? Like I'd like to say it, but it feels too weird...

But my ''symptoms'' are a little different from yours. I have never felt like this towards another guy, so it's all new for me... (I have always said the other guys' names, but somehow I don't like to call my currant ''friend'' by his name)

[Eiffelgirl21]

maybe it's because you feel like they are yours truly..ya know? Like when some people give their cars a nickname and etc..it's like, you are emotional connected with them and you are theirs and they are yours (in terms of dating) so you feel like you should only call them by their 'endearing' nickname you have for them. I feel the same as you..and I think that is why...because I feel like, everyone calls my Boyfriend by his name..and we are special..we aren't just friends or just family..so he needs a special different name that no one currently calls him but me. That's how I feel anyway..hope that helps. :)

[jess_x3]

That's interesting. I was thinking about that recently. I think it's because we don't usually call our girlfriends/boyfriends by their first names. Most people have endearing terms like sweetie or babe, so we're a bit unaccustomed to calling them by their actual name.

I completely understand what you mean though. Something you get used to over time :)

[Loveingsweetypie]

Well I have it the same way, but also with my friends, I always call them by their nicknames, except when I'm mad at them or I'm serious, that also makes it more effective that way.

But I think it just feels unnatural for you to call people you're together with in that way for their real names.

[blufrenzy93]

I feel the same way at times. I barely ever get to see the guy I like, so we're always on the phone. However, he has a habit of dozing off. Since I can't physically see him, I have to get his attention. The only way is to say is name in a stern voice...but it sounds so weird just saying his name at all. I always hesitate whenever this happens.

[cun7n1nja]

I get the same way, lol. I hardly call my boyfriend by his name at all, except when in relation to him when I'm talking to another person. But I get like that with friends too. Like if I have a nickname for someone, it becomes really weird and almost uncomfortable for me to call them by their actual name, haha. I almost get anxiety about it when I have to. =P

[kkandbb]

haha I know! I'm the same way, when I'd hear my name being used I knew he was pissed off at me so it's weird when I'd hear him say my name. Now that we're friends we still call each other by endearing names instead of saying his or my name.

It's just that we've grown accustomed to it I think.

[Rita593]

I actually can relate to what you are saying, I was thinking about this just a few days ago. I guess it also has to do with the fact that when you're face to face with someone there's no need to use their name and then when we suddenly need to do that it sounds strange. The moments when it sounds the strangest is when I'm talking about my boyfriend for some reason to anyone else, then when I use his first name sounds like I'm speaking of a complete stranger.

[Just--a--Girl]

maybe it's making it too personal to say the name that everyone knows them by. this could make you nervous, like they could easily hurt you because you've got too close to them. pet names could be keeping that little bit of distance

[slipslender]

perhaps saying their names is more personal, so...it makes you feel vulnerable?

[CasaNorba]

like weak?

[slipslender]

not 'weak' in a bad way... it puts you in a vulnerable position, a place you can get hurt.

[CasaNorba]

oh I see... cause when we argued this didn't happen

[drummerdude25]

I agree with this... It does seem to have a degree of vulnerability to it, for whatever reason. Like if I have a crush on someone, and I say her name, it always makes me blush. xD

[bobbi789]

that's really interesting! I had an ex who said he couldn't use pet names because it didn't feel right, he felt he had to use my name. I never really understood there was a big difference

[Anonymous]

my parents are the same! they never call each other by their name only nicknames

also my crush was like that too I never heard him say my name I didn't mind calling him by his name but his name was short and like a nickname

[lananoel]

lmao! meee to... if called by my name I know he's angry

[Anonymous]

"Cause you're a sexiest pig" - Jessica/Jessie Spano(Saved by the bell)

LOL for some reason it was the first thing that came to my mind :P

[CasaNorba]

but what does that have to do with it?

[Opinion Owner]

haha if you saw the show saved by the bell every time someone called her a nickname she would go that he is a sexiest pig :P

[CasaNorba]

but I don't get it... I mean I was a little kid when that show was around, plus I didn't speak english at that time

[Me_Myself_and_i_95]

That's strange. Maybe you don't like them that much? or maybe you some how feel uncomfortable near them?

[FierceMegan]

Maybe you have attachment issues?

[CasaNorba]

sorry if I sound egoistic... but I don't think so, cause I even had this with the once that I wasn't really into

[FierceMegan]

What I mean is, calling them by their name maybe too personal for you.

[CasaNorba]

oooohhh I see... so I take that back

[FierceMegan]

okayyyyyy