I have a boyfriend, but I like someone else

I have been with my boyfriend now for over 2 1/2 years. I feel like I love him and that I could possibly have a life with him. But over this past year those feelings haven't been as strong and I've thought about leaving him at times. I have now found out that someone I work with and have been attracted to for about 5 months likes me as well. So I hung out with him the other day and I feel like I really like him and that things would be so much more fun and easier with him. But I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to make the wrong decision. Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • In your quest for keeping everyone happy and unhurt, you will eventually hurt yourself. As noble as it sounds, staying an a relationship for reasons other than loving your SO, is just going to hurt everyone involved. You are lying to yourself, and lying to your boyfriend. Nothing good can come from that - in the end you will resent him for not being what you want and he will resent you for stringing him along.

    Of course, your changed feelings might not be an indicator that your relationship has come to an end. It could mean that you guys hit a stagnant spot, you're bored and restless with your life now, or you both are not seeing each other like you used to. I don't know how receptive you would be about counseling, but this could just be a break down of communications between the both of you.

    I don't recommend you using your attraction to another man to end it. No matter what you may be feeling, you can't be sure that it is a true attraction or if you're just comparing him to your current boyfriend. Despite what problems you are having, you have to acknowledge that you contributed to them as well - and jumping from one relationship to another is not a good idea without resolving your current issues.

    You owe it to your boyfriend to talk to him about how you feel, no matter how hard it would be. You owe it to yourself to be honest and stick to your guns with your desires - no matter what they are. Don't stay in a relationship to make someone else happy - it would be at the expense of you own.

    Good luck.