Girls how do you feel when a guy you like ignores you?

I normally disagree with the treat em mean, treat em keen philosophy. However I notice that girls seem to want the guy more when he ignores her now and then. The guys that make all the effort with girls seem to get less attention and tend to get brushed aside. I have experienced this many times as I'm an effort maker. What do you ladies think? Honest answers please!

I meant treat em mean, keep em keen! Doh! ha ha
Thanks for the comments so far ladies. My latest incident is a girl I've been making too much effort with I guess, she goes off with me for no reason still. So now I'm going to ignore her a while now, I hope she can appreciate me more or ill just more on.
Lots of feedback from you girls and I appreciate what you all are saying. I still say hello to this one particular girl but that's about it. She was all for meeting up and talking a lot before but now she has been talking to me, so I'm doing the same!
I meant not talking to me. Can't squeeze in much here lol I agree with you girls that ignoring is rude cos it can upset but what else can I do esp after I have made so much effort? I've tried talking but it got me nowhere. So I need to back off now.
I think a lot of you girls are missing my point. If a girl really liked me and made an effort, I would never just ignore her. However I find that a lot of women do not appreciate a genuinley nice guy. I don't mean a clingy guy, I mean a nice decent guy.
Im really glad I went with my instincts and did what I had to with this girl. She has been bitching behind my back about me for weeks and has also been making contact with an abusive ex! I also found out today she has a boyfriend hence the coldness!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not "ignoring" that work - it's playing the game. You can either play or not - this is your choice. Unfortunately most people respond to the game better then not. Always leave her wanting more (the same advice I would give about men).

    PLAYING means mystery - and it takes skill (blow it and she could totally walk). Don't be available all the time - have your own life.even if you're lying.say that you are busy all weekend but would love to get together on Wednesday (not Monday or Tuesday). Don't give any explanations just leave her wondering why she's not your #1 priority. Text her on Sunday saying you're looking forward to Wednesday. Don't reach out again until Wednesday morning to confirm details. Only do this until you feel you are moving forward together and she has feelings for you.

    NOT PLAYING means being honest and calling her and texting her and sending her flowers and following her around and waiting for her to call you back and watching her date another guy.

    Good luck!

    • So true...its hard to remember that. but its so valuable.

      if you remember that she is thinking about you and you're having an effect by not being with her at her whim and talking to her all of the time its easier to do this. just remember that your lack of an action is action itself.

    • Show All
    • I'm confused about what you disagree with...? I actually said in my original post "Only do this until you feel you are moving forward together and she has feelings for you." and then I explained in more detail in my response to JustMePurely that you can't continue this behaviour once a relationship starts because things are different then.

    • It's the first part I disagree with. The only time I didn't like lots of phone calls and attention was if I wasn't into the guy. It's hard to tell if we are into them at first I agree so maybe it is best to be cautious.

What Girls Said 41

  • Ignoring is not good and it can be upsetting. Playing a game and taking time to get back to a girl or accidently forgetting to reply to a message is ok. It also depends on the girl abd how she is. Some girls get upset and think that they have done something wrong if a guy ignores them and some girls enjoy it.

  • It depends. If a guy throws himself at you from day one in a desperate way, it''s unattractive. He's basically making it very obvious that we could do better than him. So rule #1, it's great to make a girl feel special, but never repeat over and over "wowww I can't believe you're dating me! you're so incredible why would you choose me!?" because she will start to believe and will leave you lol.

    But second, as long as its not in a desperate way, I love when a guy gives me attention. I'm not the pursuer type of female so I appreciate being pursued. It says the guy knows what he wants and is willing to work for it. Also shows me he's a mans man and that's very attractive. Take it slow at first, like texting her every couple days or so to get to know each other. But after that, once you start getting the signals she likes you, it's ok to pull out all the stops.

    There was a guy I had only known for a couple weeks & I was so insanely attracted to him. He would text me every morning when he would wake up, tell me he thinks about me all the time, dedicate love songs to me, and I loved every second of it. I definitely didn't think any less of him and it only increased my attraction. But it was because I knew he was the type of guy with a lot of confidence and a lot of options. If you come across as an insecure guy that doesn't get girls very often and then you act like that, it makes you look less attractive.

    Overall though, it never hurts to put in the effort. I will be into a guy and if I don't hear from him for a month I'm over him. I'll think he's only calling me because he's out of options and looking to get laid. Because if he really liked me he would've pursued me right away.

    Good luck!

  • OK ignoring someone who you actually like is just plain wrong! It really does send the wrong message. Being aloof, and a little unavailable is cool and intriguing, but to outright ignore someone is mean. The girl will, contrary to what you seem to think, just assume you are not interested. Put yourself out there and have a fun with a chick, instead of ignoring them all and getting nowhere!

  • I always see it as him playing hard to first. If you are a jerk all the time and ignore me, I usually assume that's the way you're always gonna be. I try to give people a chance, but usually girls don't go back to their friends and say "He's so mean! Do you think that he likes me?". That sounds straight ridiculous. Usually, if a guy is a sweetheart, we go back to our friends and are like "He is nice! I'm beginning to like him!". I mean, I'm not speaking for all ladies, that's just me. It gets annoying when boys are jerks, because we don't wanna associate ourselves with mean people. So just be nice!

  • I've started the process of getting over a guy who hasn't called me for a week 1/2. I was the last one to call him, and we always talk for hours, but I don't want to feel like I have turned into a friend or something. So, ignoring me doesn't work. It makes me begin the process of getting over the person. If he would have let me know in the last two conversations that he had continued interest I would have kept trying. I let him know in various ways that I really liked him, so if he isn't interested I'm going to be ok and if he is playing games well I'm not interested. I hope that helps.

    • If a guy is NOT calling you at least 2 times in a week...he's not playing the game...he's being straight up rude. I think the problem is that you "keep trying"...stop it girl - let him try. Why are you doing all the work? You're a super cute girl and you should have guys running after you!! Let them - they like it!! And same goes for you...once you feel like you're entering a relationship then it's time to stop playing the game and let him in.

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    • You just reitarated why its important to strike a right balance of ignoring a girl, because it gives the girl time to miss him and when he calls you'll be so eager to talk to him thus liking him more. If a guy calls every 3 days, conversations would become boring and predictable and bound to say something stupid, plus won't have anything that exciting to talk about when you actually meet.

    • Well, mine was an ldr, so meeting would be about every couple of months. ha ha I don't blame this guy for giving up. It still hurts though.

More from Girls

What Guys Said 4

  • You want to know the best way to keep a woman interested in you, don't reveal to much about yourself especially if you just met her. Don't talk to them on the phone that much, if you call her all the time she's got you and it's game over for you. If you call her have a reason to call her not just to say hey what's up? Your calling her to get dates not to be buddy buddy with her that's a mistake most guys will make.

    If you ignore her and stand her up and just flat out act like your not interested anymore, she will probably pursue you for alittle bit, and then if you keep ignoring her then she will find another guy, because she thinks you lost interest. You see women can say hey let me call you back and in woman times that could mean from any time from and hour to a week later. So the key is for you to say hey sorry I have to do something real quick let me call you back in like an hour or so, and then call her back in an hour and a half. Now if she doesn't answer then simply say hey sorry about earlier well call me back and if I don't hear from you tonight I'll call you back tomorrow. Leave it at that don't text her or call her until either tommarow or until she calls back later that night. Now don't sit by your phone going hmmm wonder if she'll call instead call up a buddy or another girl and do something with them.

    The objective is to get mulitiple women to be calling you not you calling them. Just because your into a girl doesn't mean she is into you, and guys will get locked into the thought of one girl and if she never calls they go crazy and wonder why.

    That's how you play the game you have multiple women calling you or have the choice to call them. That's dating right there until you both are together officially go on as many dates with other women you can. If I like a girl so what that doesn't mean she automatically likes me so instead of staring at the phone waiting for her to call back I am out there getting more numbers and the more numbers you get the better your chances are of getting a gf.

  • see you just put yourself into the friend zone, like I said, be clear with what you want, she is not your girlfriend or friend to be talking for endless hours on the phone. it just makes you into a friend, and when she meets someone, she is gone.

    You gotta make a move for her and be clear of what you want! Talking for endless hours with a girl you're tryig to hit on will get you no where, trust me! Because you end up talking about the kinda private details you shouldn't be telling her...

    Why don't you be a bit more forward but ignore the next girl you might be interested in and don't try to be some phony nice guy, I mean be yourself...

    If it works then hey, if it doesn't, then its just adds one more to the list of failures, I mean what have you got to lose...

  • hey forget what these girls are saying, since you are the caring type, why don't you begin with the extreme, ignore them! and when you talk to them, have sex on you mind, then just ignore for a while.

    Basically when you talk make your intetions clear, then disappear for a bit.

    But in general, the less you are ACTUALLY care, the more you get laid...

    Why don't you try it...

  • i don't know what to say but I have been posting this all day and I hope it helps people.

    here are four big very common personality types

    type 1

    a girl who likes a guy who is confident and striaight forward and is not scared of being rejected in any way by her. she likes that you are completely confident being yourself and are not afraid to show her how you feel. these girl like it when you make the first move fphysicaly with complete confidence.

    type 2

    a girl who wants to know first of all that you are not just some jerk trying to sleep with her. you have to gradualy take it from one level to the next. usualy you have to start out not acting too interested in her but start with a more normal conversation. usualy these girls will start with negatively talking about sex and how guys just want sex. just agree with them and soon enough it will transition into positively talking about sex.

    type 3

    girls that think guys are just easy to manipulate and think all they ever like them for is there looks. THESE ARE THE TEASE TYPE that are usualy the best to ignore but don't just think omg this girl is confusing she must be a tease because might not be. but you have to just be her freind but never come onto her even when she comes onto you. even after you have sex. its best to tell her she's not realy your type physicaly but you realy like her personality.

    type 4

    girls who are tired of guys always kissing her ass. be nice but don't do stuff for her, pick on her a little bit but in a freindly way.

    see the things that you say. how you talk to her. what makes her come onto you? NOTE: it will usualy change depending what mood she is in

    look at how you are acting emotionaly (are you acting excited, relaxed, sad, agrivated, indifferent)

    look at what your saying vocaly (are you doing most of the talking or is she adding to the conversations, in some cases its better to not talk too much, also what are you talking about, are you talking about each other or swapping sories)

    look at what your doing physicaly (eye contact or looking away, smile or indiferent expressions, touching her not touching her)

    mentaly (are you getting along with her showing common interests, obviously on this level you want to match what she is like, don't lie just find common interests, sometimes on this level its good for you to show her something she's not to into it might be interesting and new to her, then again maybe not just find out what works)