Asking an ex-girlfriend out to lunch?

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking of asking my ex-girlfriend out to a light lunch to gauge things. Any tips or advice on how I should do this? I was thinking a text (aside from face to face talking, 90% of our communication was from texting. She doesn't like talking on the phone. Phobia)thats says something like. "I've got a few things I have to take care of this morning and was gonna grab some food later. Would you like to go with me for a quick lunch?"

[thetheme]

Don't do it. She left you and now she is putting you in the friend zone. She is your EX, and you have no obligation to her. People never talk about becoming a couple or getting back together over lunch, that's what DINNER DATES are for. She doesn't like to talk on the phone? Seriously? What about with her friends and family? I bet she has talked to other guys that are chasing her. That excuse sounds like she doesn't like to talk to YOU on the phone. Move on and date other girls.

Having lunch is what friends and co workers do, not people you want to be with. She wants to see you so that you will help her swim to shore, however you will drown in your feelings thinking that she wants you back after her giving you false hope, it's what they do.

[Asker]

I have no plans to talk to her about getting back together over the lunch. I know I have no obligation to her but I want to be with her. Hard to just walk away.

As far as the phone stuff, its not like we never talked on the phone, but she does have anxiety issue on the phone. its weird, I know. She mostly texts her family too.

Other than that I hear what your saying man. whether I listen or not is a different story. lol.

[Anonymous]

That should be fine. It sounds good to me. However, she might think that it was kinda weird if you broke up with her, & left on bad terms...

Ask her anyways though, & post an update of how it went :) Good luck & bon appetit!

[Asker]

She broke up with me and it wasn't on bad terms at all. It was over something minor as well. Well big picture minor, could have been a lot worse kinda thing. :)

[Asker]

Well I called, got her voice mail. Said something like, "just wanted to chat for a minute, call me back if you want. ttyl." She called back like 5 min later and said she was in the shower. Sounded happy to hear from me, who knows. she said she had something to do. It was actually something I knew about before just forgot. Ah well. So I chit chatted for a minute, she told me what she did today. I didn't offer up anything or ask. I said enjoy your night, maybe we can do it next time. She said OK. hmm

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like a good sign - she could have ignored your call ;) Maybe next time it will work out.

I bet it was good just to hear her voice though, & now she knows that you would like to do something, so make sure you ask her again - wait a bit first though :)

[Asker]

Yeah it was real good to hear her voice. always is. :) We have to work together Sunday-Tuesday night. (guess I never mentioned we work together) so I figured I'd let it be until our next weekend and try again. Guess we'll see how work goes. She was pretty flirty last week. I hope all goes well.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like a plan

For your sake I hope it does too :) Good luck!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for BA! How did it turn out?

[Asker]

Well... I asked one more time about a week or so ago and got the same response, I'm busy. Same ole, "well may we can do it later", she said OK. I decided not to ask again for a while, if I do at all. I want her back but I'm not gonna be pushy about it. Just hoping to hear from her or something :)

[Opinion Owner]

Well hopefully she comes around for you ;)