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He sends mixed signals - should I give up or tell him how I feel? It's long but with a lot of detail.

In the past few months I've been able to spend a lot of time with this one guy, within these months although I've noticed him before, by being able... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • i have been stuck in something like this for 6 years. except we both said we liked each other. we deal with the same problems and games. and I have been unable to let it go.

    from the sound of your situation it seems that he is shy, he doesn't want to approach you, won't sit closer to you, try getting him one on one, see if he changes at all.

    i know that I am often shy in a group around the girl I like, I will keep my distance from her, but one on one I tend to be a lot closer.

    as far as mixed signals go, yeah you are sending them back even if you don't realize it. by talking to him a lot and hanging out, then dropping it completely and not talking for a while does confuse him, it shows him that your interested sometimes and then out of no where he means nothing to you.

    as far as him blowing you off and playing dumb, I would go ahead and say that may be his way or retaliation to when you stop talking to him for a week.

    it seems like he thinks you will only be interested in him if he makes you chase him.

    if I were you I would sit down and talk to him about it, find out his feelings, it can't hurt, you said yourself you want out, but you do like him. so talk to him about it, it may be the best thing that you do.

    hopefully the guy you are dealing with is tired of the games too, I know I can't stand the games and I keep holding on just so that I can get a chance, because I really like her too.

    • I never really thought that maybe I was sending mixed signals too. I just didn't want to hang all over him because there was a girl that did the same thing to him before and I'm not about to act like that too. Question: Why is ok for him to initiate one on one time but if I do he pushes me away?

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    • I just don't want to be the only to start conversations with him, I would like for him to start one once in a while so that's why I kind of ignore him. As far as initiating things it has nothing to do with going out it's just about like talking one on one. I just don't get it.

    • Yeah I see what you are saying, and unfortunately I don't know why he won't start a conversation with you. Is he really shy? or does he feel uncomfortable around you? those are two possibilities.

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think he will make a move. I have seen lots of relationships with very similar scenarios. I don't think he likes you, however I may be wrong. The onl way for you to find out is to be up front about it. Ask him directly. Say you are getting mixed signals, and you want to know how he feels and where you stand, and whether he wants a relationship with you or not.

    Dont wait for him, I'm almost totally sure he will never make a move, and I think deep down you know this as well. You keep giving him chances because you hope he will change.. but hun, he's not going to.

    Just ask him. Its the only way you will find out. then you can either live happily ever after or move on. even if he says something like 'i'd like to get to know you a little more; then at least you know you are in with a chance.

    Good luck :)

    • You're right I don't think that he'll make a move, I'm just tired of always being the person that has to make the first move.

What Girls Said 1

  • This is your call..I feel for you because I had a guy friend does that to me all the time. In my opinion this guy doesn't really like you but you are good enough to flirt with sometimes. I mean if he likes you why would he ignored you at the event and when you invited him, he came but doesn't sat near you that a BS on his part. I would give up on him and just move on to another guys. Another sign that shows he isn't interested in you, is his texting habit or phone calls and if he likes you he will text you so often or find excuses to talk to you constantly. Smiley sign doesn't really mean flirting at all, he just telling you he thought it was funny.

    • I see what you're saying. I didn't include most of our circumstances though. Things could be weird at first for us if we started dating though which is why I don't hang around him every time I see him. and makes me think that he backs down a lot. Also there's an age difference of about 9 or 10 years and it would be an interracial relationship, I don't know if he's ever dated a black girl before so I wonder if that could be a factor.

    • He is older than you? Well if a guy really like girl age difference and race doesn't matter. I think you should talk to him and see where you stand in his life. If you like him then go for him.

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