Asking out girls I see in public?

[Anonymous]

OK, this was intended to be a comment on an answer I got on a question I wrote about asking a girl out I walk past every once and a while. I got two answers, one from a girl basically saying proceed with caution, and the other from a girl saying it was more or less a bad idea to try it based on her thought process. I've also read past questions that were similar and their answers and addressed them below as well.

I'm 22 years old. You could say I’m shy, or clueless, or both. I've never had a girlfriend. or a date. or kissed. or held hands. or the most miniscule interaction between two people who are interested in one another romantically can share. I have tried getting to know girls before, and get stuck friend zoned. These girls only come up through friends of friends or people I know, and opportunities do not come up often as they either have a boyfriend, aren't interested, or wanna stay friends or whatever.

Its frustrating. People have told me wait and it will happen. Which I feel like Is only half true, cause I can’t sit around doing absolutely nothing. Nothing is going to fall into my lap. So I have to be somewhat proactive about it right?

Now I'm just thinking about odds here. How many girls do I meet that it is “acceptable” to approach through friends or clubs or activities or whatever, and talk to? Of those how many have boyfriends? Of those who don’t, how many aren’t looking for a guy? Of those who are, how many are actually interested? I may be wrong, but I'm feeling like this is a real small number. Which leads to my next thought…

Why is it so wrong to approach a girl I see in public, one walking past on the street if I am genuine about my actions? Is it wrong because I don’t know her? Isn’t that the whole point of dating? Getting to know someone? Note: I don’t go around wanting to approach every girl I see, I see plenty of attractive girls, but every once in a while I see a girl and think. Could I talk to her?

I see people saying its creepy or weird. I guess maybe awkward…I admit I don’t have a solid explanation for that I guess. But I do ask why? Why is it creepy or weird? I’d do it in a public place, I know damn well its not alright to try this at night, or alone. I get why that would be creepy.

I see people saying it is not OK because I only want sex, or apparently seem like I want. That’s not fair, I plan on waiting till marriage. I'm not saying I want to marry this girl now. All I'm saying is I want to take her on a date. Get to know her.

Maybe its just a problem with society? Maybe its just a barrier I should respect? Should I just do that, respect it and pretend like there are billions of people in the world that are automatically off limits? (OK maybe billions is too much since I probably couldn’t meet that many if I tried, but I made my point right?) Accept that every day I could be walking by someone special?

Any insight or just taking time to read is greatly appreciated

[Anonymous]

Hmm, Approaching girls On the street coffee shop's ect is difficult for most people as you don't know anything about the person. But if their is attraction on both sides then why not? Your obviously attracted to each over for a reason, But As a Man I know that a lot of woman are good looking, attractive. And I want to date them all sometimes.

You should look for a girl who has similar interest as you, having something in common that you both can share interest in. A good site for this is meetup.com

Be truthful about what you want and how you want to go about things, It's hard to find someone at the best of times, but it all depends on what your looking for in a woman if your simple then the more choice you have. What qualities are you looking for in a woman? Once you know this, the rest is a lot easier. But be patient with it all

.

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

The problem is that people tend to have their guard up when they're out in public, so your chances of getting a woman's phone number are greatly diminished. Your chances are much better when you're at more private events like group dinners, group activities, parties, etc.

[hotandangerous]

Well, your could always do what one of my past boyfriends did. He walked strait up to me, asked my name, which was pretty weird since I didn't know him at the time. Anyways, I said my name, then he said; Hi, my name is (lets say) Ash. He held out his hand and we shook hands, then he pulled me in and kissed me, with tounge-lol-. At the same time, he slipped his number and name in my purse. Then he turned and left. Later I found it and called him, we hit it off =) hopefully this helps

[upood]

It all depends on the person. You can't flat out ask a girl out if you just saw her from a distance this second... but you can smile at her or drop her a note saying 'you're cute, here's my number' its not direct nor does it happen often so some girls will find it adorable and something can start from there. But there is no way to make someone date you just by going up to them in public because they don't know you or have any context whatsoever...

[EPhantom]

So are you saying that you wouldn't give a guy a chance to date you, get to know you, or be your friend if they made any kind of attempt if you were walking down the street, walking between classes on campus, approached while sitting in a coffee shop, ect

or

Is there something that you would find acceptable? (I have been wondering specifically about the campus situation, haven't a clue what to do even if they stare at me and blush, because they are walking in the opposite direction =/)

[upood]

A smile and a genuine introduction is good... but flat out asking me for dinner would be a bit weird since I don't know him... coffee is a little more acceptable AFTER some kind of legit conversation.