Push/pull technique

[RyeLee]

This is SO effective. If you don't know what I'm talking about, google it! Its fascinating! Anyway, do guys do the push/pull naturally or are they totally aware that they are using it?

[GoodManDave]

It's annoying!

I mean you're not always going to be lovey dovey, and I understand that you could be suddenly "turned off" to that person for a little bit (or even permanently, like if they do something gross), but I don't believe I do that.

If a girl starts playing games, I just do the same. Not so much to manipulate them, but it's kind of a turn off, and I don't need that in my life, so I'll back off. And if I feel like I'm being an idiot, or looking a bit desperate, then I will back off, but try to slowly, or try to let them know that I'm not trying to play games, I'm just backing off.

It happens quite often to me, and these girls aren't ever even interested. I have a "friend" who now ignores me, and I didn't do anything (that I'm aware of), and we used to talk. She used to instant message me, and we'd talk. Now, she doesn't bother. If we happened to be at an event we were friends, but she'd never hang out with me outside of that group. And it's annoying, because I never did that to her, but whatever. It just means she's not that great a friend.

I had a girl I had a tiny crush on; now she ignores me, and it's weird because we run in the same circles. She started doing it when she started dating someone else, and that is really annoying. Now she's apparently "too good to talk to me."

And then I get shunned from certain events. I belong to a church bible study, and I'll find out about these events where someone from the bible study invited everyone else but me. They have my contact information. Then they all pretend to be friends with me. Quite annoying, really, because I invite them ALL to hang out when I plan big events, and they don't bother to show up. I'm doing well at not being negative, and I'm not a jerk. I'm getting ignored and I don't feel like a part of the group, yet we're supposed to be close enough where we're supposed to be accountable to each other and talk about really private things, and it's hard when people are like this. I do have one or two real friends in the group, but as a whole, I'm kind of ignored.

I can't see how that would be a fun thing to do to someone on purpose.

[NotSoBad]

thats called manipulation, no? a person would be manipulating the situation. or they could be diagnosed as bi-polar. whatever it is, if they are purposely doing it they aren't real. they are putting on an act. eventually they won't be able to keep it up any longer and the relationship will go into "bum bum bum bumbum bumbum bum bum bum bum bum bum bumbum Tailspin!"

[NirvanaCobain]

guys I don't advise you to do it to just ANY GIRL! and I'm one of those girls, if your gonna be nice to me then be nice but don't give me a compliment and be an asshole ignoring me the next second I get my feelings hurt easy lol and I over think things so I just think it depends on how the girl handles situations

[RyeLee]

Same with me....but it drives me crazy and just makes me want them more! lol

[natalia]

This has happened to me as well and I think it's ok at first, but eventually he should make it clear to her what it is he wants...otherwise, she may misinterpret his behavior and think he's just playing with her.

[madi1310]

A few guys I know have done this to me, and it's so annoying! One minute they'll be chatting normally, then all of a second they're indifferent. Guys, if you're going to do this, do it subtley, nor severely, k?

[jaycee777]

I have been through this recently, I think its just a horrible game. Its cruel and really honesty and treating the other with respect is best, in the end if he pulls away too much you will eventually walk, and vice a versa.

[interst8eight]

haha now that I think about it, I kind of do this. I'll always compliment a girl, but I'll tease her about something to get a funny reaction, too, but always playfully. I guess that is the same?

[Slothman]

I googled and I'm trying to understand. You give her a compliment and then be mean all of a sudden? I don't get how you change from good tobad suddenly and smoothly. I guess it's not natural for me.

[hporter1]

I do it naturally then realize what I do later, but I think its a learned trait, from male role models, but some guys never get that experience

[Albedo667]

Why can't you just tell us what it is without having to google it?

[RyeLee]

Lol sorry. I wasn't sure if I was like the only one who just found out what it was! I can't really describe it so ill just paste this...."It is a classic psychological thing called push/pull. He is actually pulling you in emotionally then deliberately backing off to increase the sexual tension. Keeps you off balance."

So apparently, some guys will say/do something sweet and then be totally indifferent in order to get the girl to want him. & 2 create mystery

Did that even make sense? lol

[Albedo667]

Wow!! Really? I would have never even thought of even doing that to a girl! =( Yes it does make sense though

[Jarett]

I do it. I don't think it's natural, you kind of have to focus on it.

[VAGitarian]

well... that's not my style... maybe I am unaware I do it?

[Kayne]

eh, not my style really.

[temptationfalls]

I just kinda do it