I fell in love with an illusion. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I fell in love with someone who I believe was perfect for me. The relationship ended because of long-distance issues but we're still friends and we still talk occasionally. I still love him and I still love talking to him, but after talking to some people, I realize that I might've been in love with someone who didn't feel the same; he might've been in it for the company and for the sex.

I know I should move on, but I don't know how to. Should I confront him and ask him whether I meant anything to him? I want to know but I don't want to damage the friendship or whatever's left of it. What should I do?

[Arwens-Fire]

You should just leave him alone and move on with your life and find someone more fitting for you. Don't stroke his ego by asking him whether you meant anything to him.If things are done between the two of you,theres no need to go back and try and figure out...what exactly?Take time to yourself,find new and interesting things to do.You will then find someone else.Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you. I think I really needed something that really appealed to my pride to force me to just stop and move on.

[Arwens-Fire]

I've been there before with crappy guys,then I had to just tell myself over and over again that,"This person doesn't like me.This person just wants to use me." Take this time to work on yourself so the next time you met a guy,you will have even MORE to offer.Also,if you come across a jerk you will see it right away...and not waste your time with him.Good luck to you. :)

[Asker]

The problem was that he was never a jerk. In fact, I know he cared about me. He was, I still believe, perfect for me. I just wonder if any of it was real. It's just that he was always emotionally distant and I don't know if he ever felt anything. And there I go again, making excuses for him. I guess I just fell in love with the illusion.

[Arwens-Fire]

Exactly.

[Arwens-Fire]

Thanks for ba and good luck on the healing process. :)

[DaveDirtily]

Find someone new for yourself. Keep your long distance relationship and just be friends if that is what you want.

[bigbang654]

I'm sure there are lots of people losing stuffs. You are one of billions.

[bigbang654]

the thing is you weren't that interested in him either. So, you might wanna find someone who you really want to be with. it takes a lot of effort to find one and takes time also.

[Asker]

I was interested in him. I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He told me in the beginning that he might've asked me to marry him if we were older. Honestly, if he had asked, I would've said yes. But I realize now that he probably never really felt the same way about me.

A relationship is a two way thing. As much as I love him, I can't do anything if he doesn't feel the same. I'm just gonna end up prolonging this heartbreak I have right now.

[bigbang654]

you are not mature enough.

[bigbang654]

marriage is not a game playing with fire. Someone gets burnt.

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[bigbang654]

maybe you guys should talk open minded.