How does an ugly guy like me get a girl?

Question

I'm sick of making girls laugh and they end up having sex with my friends. It's almost like I take them out, hang out with them pay for everything. Just to find out later they've been sleeping with one of my friends. Everyone tried to feed me that crap of you are looking for the wrong girls and wait the right one will blah blah blah. It's been almost 20 years trying. I'm sick of waiting! I've asked girls what the problem is and they say nothing is wrong with my personality. They think I'm a kind funny sweet person. They say that the only thing is my looks. They think I'm ugly. What do I have to do? Where are the lower class girls that would get with an ugly guy like me at?

I'm a very clean cut guy. I shave every day and never go longer than 2 weeks without a hair cut. They say it's my face. They say my eyes aren't in the right place and the shape of my nose and mouth are wrong. I was in a accident when I was younger. Really messed up the way I look. Nothing anyone can do about it for a price I can afford.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

OK, please listen to me, this is no joke, what you got to do is stop taking crap from people. Who cares if you are ugly, I am a fat guy, but I have learned not to give a damn what people think. I have a lot of people that like me / love me, and it is because I do not care if they do or not. In middle school and early high school I was picked on, not physically, but they made fun of me a lot cause I was a bit weird, chubby, and kinda annoying, many people were trying to get me to change who I was, and I tried cause I just wanted to fit in, but then as I got older and later in my high school years I started to realize that I liked who I am. I learned to stand up for myself, I never fought anyone physically, but I would always have something to say if someone said something negative toward me. Don't get me wrong, I am not a mean guy, everyone I meet thinks I am like the nicest guy, but I can recall many times when certain "popular" kids, (who are nobodies now that high school is over) would try to make me look like a fool or pick on me, and I would one up them by calling them out, for one instance this girl was being bitchy toward me cause I said hi to her, so I started talking really loud in the hallways saying how much I loved that girl and how we make such a great couple and stuff like that, cause you see it teaches her a lesson, that being nice to everyone is a good thing, and I will get you back if you do not act respectfully and in a good manner.

I am sorry for this extremely long story, but remember you seem to be a really nice person, helping people pick up groceries and such, so I am sure you are a really nice guy, but if some bitch spits in your face, they do not deserve to get away with that, or some girl disrespects you just because the way you look, you need to stand up for yourself, figure out something that will make her look like the bitch she is. If she spits in your face, make it as known to everyone around you, be like "A WTF, Some STD Whore just spat in my face, get me some soap," or maybe something a bit less mean, but you get what I am saying.

As for getting a girl, if you do not take shit from these people that seem to be walking on you, then you will start to get recognized as a strong guy, looks only get you so far, its all about confidance and personality, Good Luck, and again DONT TAKE SHIT FROM NO ONE!

Appleater · Accepted Answer

Ok, believe me there are some screwy lookin guys that land hot girls all the time. I know a couple of them. I also have a couple friends that are like WAY too nice. Those nice guys get put in the friend zone and they're done. I'm not saying be a dick but you can't be like the sweetest guy they've ever met. I naturally don't have a problem with being too nice, it's the opposite for me. I don't like girls that are all nice and sweet and totally agreeable either, but not total bitches. So anyway ya I've found that most girls just like a guy that's a guy you know? I know one guy in particular that I at least don't think looks gross but I'm not an expert. He wears nice clothes and everything, not grungy, and he's like never had a girlfriend because they all wanna go talk to him about their problems because he's sooooo nice and listens intently to their problems, most guys don't really care that much about some girl and her girl problems...sorry, and then they never see him as boyfriend material.

And don't pay for anything for them. Maybe if you're going out with them you can pay for stuff but up until that point they can pay for their own stuff. If I go to the moves and the girl is just like my friend at that point I don't pay for her and I don't think most girls expect that. And no flowers or any of that crap right away either. You end up pushing them away if you're overly nice.

sakuraflower · Accepted Answer

What can I say? Woman are a pain in the ass! That is a really hard thing for me to answer because I personally tend to fall for a person for their personality not so much their looks. I know it sounds like bull but I'm not the most pretty girl in a room 9 times out of 10. And when a girl falls in love with a mans personality he becomes more handsome and desirable. Maybe your giving these girls so much up front because you think that's going to win them over because so many have turned you down because of your looks. Many woman take advantage of that. I am not saying treat them like dirt. I hate when good guys think turning into jerks will get them girls. I'm saying don't pay for every thing. Take a girl on a simple date. For example I just went to a really neat frozen yogurt place (two 12oz cups was like $6 in California) and then he suggested we go to the park to eat them. Something more like that. And if a girl likes you she will come up with any excuse to either see you or talk to you. Or make "suggestions" of things that she wants to do with "someone" Listen to us girls we do drop you boys some hints. (Sometimes they are really hard to catch on to but we are trying to help you out)

music4life · Accepted Answer

Firstly, I am sorry with what happened to you. I understand how it feels when people wouldn't like you because of your looks. Sometimes, I am a victim too. I have a best friend who actually said "if there is a girl with the exact same personality as I but with better looks, I will definitely go after her".

however, there is another best friend of mine, who is not really pretty or good looking, but she managed to have a boyfriend naturally. I believe that it's because of her easy-going personality, and also fate. Although I can't help much in this, I'd say you still have to wait, be patient, and also don't be desperate...it's better to be single than to be in a string of relationship but getting emotionally hurt all the time.

Sometimes, these kinda things are sorta "fated"...and sometimes these may take a very long time before it comes. I truly understand how you feel, and I sincerely hope that one day, there will be someone who will "see thru" you truly are. I strongly suggest continue being who you are, and shine thru your personality. Trust me, you will earn a lot of respect from others :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I met a guy a few months ago that I thought was really unattractive. He started texting me from time to time and honestly I hadn't even thought about him as a potential boyfriend. I told myself many times that I couldn't go out with someone so physically unappealing. He invited me to the movies a few weeks ago and I really felt a connection. I can talk to him about anything and I found that we have more in common I thought. We are not officially going out yet but I can feel it coming. We also have another date soon. All of this just to say that even though he's really not someone who's hot, his appearance is a lot less important to me when I know he's a really nice guy, smart, interesting, and interested in a serious relationship. I'm really tired of being treated like meat by some (not all) guys so I hope you won't give up on finding someone. You also might want to find a girl that has no connection to your male friends. I feel angry that girls that would take advantage of you like that. I wish you the best of luck.

The_Box · Answer

I could barely even read this. I tried and tried, but I just can't think of a way to solve this. This is so brutal, but you're straight-up doomed, man. No amount of confidence, humor, or kindness will work. Confident + Ugly = Asshole. Nice + Ugly = Creep. There's just no way to win... You can't even be in a girl's company without disgusting her. That's just not right. It makes me mad, to be honest. It's so unfair.

I'd say stop looking. There might be a girl out there for you maybe, but the only way you'd find someone like that is pure chance. I wouldn't bank on it though. You're going to be lonely most likely. I admire your resolve though. I don't know what I would've done if I were in your situation. Probably something permanent.

But yeah, plastic surgery seems like the only way out so I guess if it matters a lot to you that you don't want to be lonely, you could try to save up the money for it.

Oh, or you could seduce a girl online without showing her your picture. It's happened, though at your age, it might be weird. And you probably wouldn't like the girl very much if she was that desperate.

Blankname1 · Answer

I will tell you a true story and I hope it helps.

There was this guy I knew who was a nice person and stuff,but never got girls at all and it was like this for years.It change suddenly when the group "B2K" came out and one girl told him he looked like the leader singer of the group at that time,so you looked them up and saw how so many girls liked him,so he started feel better,feeling like a million bucks.The kind of "I can get any type of girl" and "A girl who would lucky to get me".About 3-4 months after this change he ended up with a date a week and now currently has a girlfriend he loves deeply.This all changed just ,because someone told him that he looks like a singer(Who a lot of girls like).The point is he gained this will to success and stopped focusing on what he didn't want and what he wanted and just went out.Even after being rejected a number of times he still kept it up and finally started to successed.

I feel ur talking to the wrong kind of girls,because trust me looks is not everything(Girls called me ugly,so what and some tell me I look good,so it's the girls not u).

DON'T GIVE UP PLEASE!

Peace!

thepianist · Answer

ok, here's my two cents,

there is a girls out there for every guy. I'm not a terribly good looking guy either, and most girls that I've asked think I'm OK at best. I'm short and a little chubby. My gf, however, is a tall blond with blue eyes, very very fit, and (in my opinion) beautiful. You just have to find the right girl. I'm gonna admit, I'm not the typical guy my girlfriend goes for, but it's mainly my personality that won her over. She doesn't really care for looks that much. Also, I've found that the more you love someone's personality, the more beautiful they are to you. She says she thinks I'm 'hot' and 'cute' and whatever and even (in her head) thinks I'm like better than heath ledger or whatever. I personally (because of self esteem issues) believe she exaggerates her opinions of me sometimes to make me feel better but I also do believe she finds me good looking. Just not to the degree she says.

There are plenty of girls out there that like non stereotypical 'hot' guys. My cousin, for example, is sought after ALOT. a lot of guys think she's cute and all that, but she actually prefers bigger people and VERY old men (i'm talking gandalf the grey from LOTR old). She really disregards stereotypical looks.

Sure, there girls like tall, athletic, etc... but there are girls that have no problem with us more average guys and some that may even prefer us average guys. (my cousin's scared of touching big muscles) lol. It really depends on the girl. I agree with the other people when they say you're hanging with the wrong crowd. I know amongst my friends, plenty of them like non stereotypical guys. Like one thinks that lead singer from FOB is cute even tho most girls just go straight for pete wentz.

Anonymous · Answer

I can give you an honest answer about what you are feeling, I'm an ugly guy and went the exactly same thing as you, the same anger and disappointment in life. You need to understand theirs only two routes that you can take it your love life:- Give up on it, and life your life without a love companion. There is nothing wrong with it, it's better than being with someone who doesn't love you. You have family and friends who care about you.- Wait, wait until you die.

I'm not going to lie to you, looks do matter in a relationship, there is no girl in the entire world can convince me otherwise. Ugly girls want the same as a pretty girl (great abs and a fat wallet), and from my love experience, ugly girls wish for looking guys even more than pretty ones.

I had a great amount of girlfriends (never cheated), but the last one, was one who really make me feel unique, we dated for about five years and everything has just fine, until my father became very ill and she made me choose.. Him or her.. The next week she left with my best friend and married a just last week (3 months after we broke up).

My advice to you don't keep your hopes up, there are a lot of girl who don't care about your feelings, you need to be happy for yourself, you need to like yourself. Take it from me, I'm ugly, but I'm happy because I do what I like most, I try to be a better person each day, and my father is becoming better with each passing day.

Andrew_Mussolini · Answer

I know you ask this 7 months ago but I hope you read this.  I am a butt ugly guy.  The thing is, I found out that people want what they don't have. Girls who grow up poor are more likely looking for rich guys.  The ones who grow up rich, don't really care about money.  The same with looks.  If you think that you are ugly and so you try to go for not so pretty girls, then you absolutely will get shot down because these ugly women will look for good looking men.  My suggestion is to try to flirt with the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.  You will be surprised, my friend! You will be surprised!

darkscorpio · Answer

If girls are going on dates with you you can't be that bad looking. Sounds to me like you are going wrong on the dates.

The purpose of a date is to make the girl want to see you again, or if you are really good you make her wanna reach across the dinner table and rip your clothes off with her teeth ha!

Anyway my point is you need to make more of an impact, if you were that hideous they wouldn't even wanna be seen with you but that isn't the problem.

Failing that, just make a sh*t load of money.

Scrambled · Answer

Sorry to hear man. It probably is the girls you chasing, you may have an unattainable bar. I know some physically scarred guys who are in relationships. But the girl also has some defect. Its just the way it goes. But it doesn't mean you can't find anybody. I believe, in short, and many people won't admit this, the high divorce rate is due to people not being able to settle down with the person they really like. The person they really like is with someone else and he/she couldn't get them so they settle for someone else. But it will always effect them somewhere. it also sounds like you could be suffering from BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) and I know, it effects all areas of your life. So you have a triple whammy of problems, 1) your looks 2) your perceived looks and 3) distorted thinking due to the 2 former problems.

satish · Answer

Ha! I bet you never try to woo a really beautiful, I mean drop dead gorgeous woman did you?  Try it! While results may vary, you may be surprised by the results.  You see, I have a butt ugly face and, I don't remember exactly how but somehow, I have better luck with nicer looking girls.   I learned that, just like anything, many people are obsessed with what they don't have. A person who grow up poor may develop insatiable appetite for hoarding money or being materialistic.  The same goes with not so pretty women, many of them are obsessed with beauty, hence they are looking for good looks in their men.  The really pretty ones, on the other hand, many of them, are not too concerned about beauty because they have it. Hence, they are more incline to look for other qualities other than look in their dates.

oldgoat · Answer

its not your looks or any thing trust me I have been with girls that would make you go dammm what is he doing with her.. look around there are ugly guys with good looking girls all the time there are fat guys with skinny girls . it is all on your personality and with good looking girls you have to be different from all other men they have heard the boy your cute stuff and so on be different walk up to her and make fun of her shoes or the way her purse looks some thing like that if in a bar . ask her to buy you a drink seeing she has money to buy them shoes or purse that looks funny .. then if she agrees you can decline and say she should save her money so she can get away from the shoes or purse... Just don't bee like other guys that have tryed to pick her up you would probly make the 150th guy using the same line .. think of something funny smart and what has not been used on her the last 50 nights

theonedrluv · Answer

fisrt of all you have to love yourself and have self confidence it goes a long way believe in yourself  that is an attractive ,quality make sure your inner qualities shine ,if you have to look for an ugly girl ,but I would not view my self in a negative way that's not gonna help things be real straight forward ,i gotta friend who is over weight and has one leg and he gets laid all the time by hot chicks! its how he talks and his confidence level .he blows my mind  ,hes got balls he's not affraid to be shot down its gonna happen ,but the more you try the more chances you have,he will go to the bar or some where and be like hey what's up ,you board? wanna go to my house and f_ck for a while and it works he is tottaly blunt and straight forward and chicks respond  oh alcohol helps to  lol .good luck hope this helped

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

you shouldn't diss yourself like that!

do the best you can.

maybe consider your options and save money.

that's what I would personally do.

just be pro-active

those girls don't sound moral or have any character for saying that .

i read that some people have said 'girls are asses or w/e', I admit some girls are.

but it works the same way for guys judging girls too.

I was teased in highschool because I didn't wear make up and I was a little fatter but now I'm different.

So if it makes you feel better, do what you can, save up to look good I guess. But have supportive friends around you and don't be harsh with yourself. It isn't your fault, it was an accident that happened. I'm sorry that that happened to you.

stevo · Answer

Forget them, then. It's pathetic to note when somebody, anybody feeds you a compliment, and then shoots you down. It's sad and inexcusable. You can't help the fact that you were in an accident, and if they can't understand that, then that's their problem. You deserve somebody who will give you nothing but the best. That's really a p*ss-poor attitude that they're directed at you. If they don't want to be seen with someone with you're qualities, then, that's their loss. You're far better off without that negative feedback.

prettiestwreck · Answer

try to not seem In need of a relationship. there have been lots of guys who were less than cute I have went out with and had pretty good relationships with. also a girl that gives a guy who isn't by societys standards cute is not "lower class" just a bit more sensual if you ask me.and if you must go after girls begin slower and often I've found when I thought no body wanted me someone who was dying to have me was right infront of me soo yeah begin slow and take a few more looks around.best of luck!

SeaCadet · Answer

You can't look for the good looking girls. You gotta look for the other ones. I mean sorry but what you should be matched up with is an ugly girl with a great personality like yours. Don't just talk to the hot ones talk to the rejected ones. You'll find gold in there.

Kalula · Answer

Ahh dude you are hanging around with the wrong girls... don't listen to those girls who say your ugly, there too superficial no ones ugy! toughin up and be proud to be you!

Be confident and you'll catch a real girls eye...(but not cocky)

I know your tired of waiting, but hey we all do

rockcharm · Answer

You need to be hanging around bands -- I have seen the most ugliest guys pick up chicks just by being involved with bands. Hang out at the local club -- find the most popular bands in town and help them load their van, join their street team, whatever -- just get them to accept you into their circle and you will have all the girls you want -- but take it slow -- go ahead and use 10 or so of them up and save the relationship for the ones that rise to the top. the more girls see you hanging with other girls they will want you regardless of your looks. It's about being seen and I'm telling you, the guys I;ve seen who work or play around the live music scene have the ugliest and most disgusting, smelly dudes and they still get the chicks.. for whatever reason some chicks think that if you are in or around a working band that it benefits them somehow -- use this technique -- it works!

PrinceLeo · Answer

Hey there!!!
I don't know what to say anymore but, just want you to try one thing..

Can u date a girl which people might find her REALLY REALLY UGLY as her face is not in a BEAUTIFUL shape?
Jut find that one..
And let her feel your Heart..(YOUR HANDSOME HEART)!!!
And Have A Faith!!!

TaurusFemmeFatale · Answer

What you need is SWAGGER (personal confidence, a great sense of fashion style, and a unique personality). Don't use your accident as an excuse. Shit happens. You have to dust that dirt off your shoulder! Stop appearing so desperate. Women can smell insecurity. Insecurity makes a man appear less attractive. You can also broaden your interest in girl-types. be bolder, and set your sights on women who also have nice  personal attributes, and not women who are too superficial!

sunspotmia · Answer

I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but what you need to do is lower your standards a bit. If a chick is a little chubby, be ok with it as long as she has nice boobs. If she has acne but still has nice glossy black hair and a cute smile don't count her out. If a woman is taller than you and is build like Larry Birds little sister, but she's nice to you and smiles when you open the door for her, just get in there and go for it. Women are not perfect and trust us we lower our standards too when it comes to men.

metaldave20 · Answer

shame on the girls who won't date you if you really are as they say "ugly: the best thing to do is just to be yourself... you're gonna have to wait if you're the nice guy, but, in the end girls usually come to their senses and wind up with the nice guy. girls tend to not be superficial and go for looks, but some do, those are the shallow ones of course

yeah just be charming, etc... and ull be fine

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