He contacts me every 2 weeks. Motives?

[Anonymous]

I need some help,

I dated this guy for a few months and we seemed really happy until one day he blind sighted me and said that he didn't want to date me or anybody at the moment. He said he had too much going on and that he needed time to himself. I wrote off what he said to mean that he really just didn't like me anymore and was over the relationship even though he swore that wasn't the case and even said that "as stereotypical as it seems It really is me. Its NOT you." I didn't talk to him for a while, deciding that no contact would be best considering that I still had feelings for him and wanted him to have his space. After around a month I texted him and said that I was going to a concert that I knew he would be at also. I thought it would be weird to just show up. When I got there he immediately walked over to me. It was like he had been waiting for me to get there and then he spent the entire night with me. Fast forward 2 weeks. He randomly calls me on a Friday night and says that he is having a housewarming party at his new apartment. He invites me and then sticks by me. People regarded me as "his girl" since he stayed so close and then later on we ended up doing a lot of kissing and cuddling and pretty much going back to relationship mode. He even asked me to stay the night (I didnt). I texted him the next day asking if we could talk about it. I wanted to clear the air so that whatever we were would be agreed upon. We met for coffee and he said that "it felt comfortable." and that he shouldn't have done it. that was fine. 2 weeks after that he "accidentally" calls my sister and then we end up talking later.He asked me to hang out but I already had plans. The next night I asked if he wanted to hang out. We went to a bar and once again we went into couple mode. He got hit on by another guy and I saved him from the situation by walking over, grabbing his hand, and kissing him on the cheek. later on he dropped me off at my dorm and ended up coming to my room to watch a movie... I know this was a bad idea but one thing lead to another and he stayed the night. The next day, I walked him down and we did the awkward hug and he said "you know this doesn't always have to happen when we hang out." I wondered if he was right but we are too sexually drawn to to each other for it to not be a factor. I decided to leave him alone again for both of our sakes but, once again, almost exactly 2 weeks later he texts me today and asks me if I'm coming to a concert that he was at. It had been going on for an hour and he was obviously looking for me. I couldn't go but he tried to convince me and we texted for a long time. He was very flirty and very obvious.

For a guy that doesn't want to be with me he is very regular in contacting me.. I guess every 2 weeks he starts missing me?Can anyone give me any insight on this? I care about him but I close myself off because I don't want to get hurt. Does he want a relationship with me or is he just looking for companionship?

[Blobb]

Looks like he might have too much going on and he can just see you every couple of weeks. IF you want try and establish a cyclic relationship lol.

Anyways what he said could be the truth. Then again he could genuinely want to just be friends, but he doesn't manage because his d*** gets hard.

Then again he could be lying about everything and he's actually a gay KGB agent using you as a cover for his supersecret mission.

But I'd go for option one or 2, he can only see you every couple of weeks or he might actually want to be just friends.

[Asker]

I dunno. We have been broken up for around 3 months but with all the interactions we keep happening its just getting silly. We obviously care about each other. I think he, like me, wants us to be some version of OK but he gets caught up in our sexual chemistry. I would like a relationship to be possible for us but if he wanted one he would try harder. wouldn't he?

[MrNameless]

So.. Let me get this straight? You guys talk and hang out on a regular basis every few days, and then he just cuts off all contact for 2 weeks, and contacts you out of no where to hang out--every 2 weeks?

What the hell.. If this is the case, I feel like he's not taking you very seriously and doesn't want a romantic relationship at all with you... And maybe using you as a "back up." If this is the case, I'd move on.

You could ask him what he's trying to do also...

[Asker]

I usually cut the contact. Its not an official thing.. it just happens. Our official title is friends but I limit contact because it always escalates in one way or another. I know he isn't dating anyone but its still weird. Sometimes he just wants to talk but typically he wants to see me. He said that he didn't want a romantic relationship. that's fine with me... if we could actually do that. I know I need to do that but its so awkward. We will probably talk over the next few days. that how it goes

[-Darling]

Give it a couple more months and see what happens and if he changes his mind about being "too busy" for a relationship or not. But then again, if your the type to like it when thing go very slow forward (like me) then I wouldn't really have much to worry about, just in the meantime don't use your sexual attraction as an excuse to have sex every time you meet. Just don't do it you know why

[-Darling]

Btw I understand his situation. I am myself not able to see my boyfriend that often either. So we meet up like once a month or once every third or 5th week even. I don't see that as a problem at all and I'm thankful his being understandig to that I just have a lot going on with school work etc and that its not him

[Asker]

i would love to think he just needs time and that he keeps in contact because he cares but we have been broken up for nearly 3 months. I know he is busy but part of my wonders why he doesn't try harder

[-Darling]

You haven't talked to him for nearly 3 months now? I can't remember you mentioning that :s but I've been there before. Hell probably call you again. Then you can be cool about it but at the same time sibce he's the one whos calling. You can ask for an explenation about his behavior. Ask smart. Like just!"i don't understand what's going on, you keep going back ans for

[-Darling]

..back and forth all the time"...how come you only have time to contact every third month" ...for example...dont let this get into you tho, it might be just a part of his personality to be the holding back type of person instead of the pushy one. It night be that he just isn't that ibto but I think he'd have said ao. How old is he?

[Asker]

We have been officially broken up since the January but we have been in contact every 2 weeks since February. Its not every 3 months. We are both 21. Yeah, the fact that its him maintaining contact says something. he is a fickle, fickle boy.

[-Darling]

Thats a very young age. I wouldn't expect him to be looking for a serios relationship. But you talk every second week that doesn't sound like something you should worry about if you ask me. But not either to be exicted about either so just go with the flow and don't make too many moves I guess. That's just my opinion and advice. You who is IN the situation know a lot better than me how to calculate things in your relationship. So Good luck with everything sweety :-)

[Mrsupaakeru]

he has 14 girls he currently has a relationship with. He contacts you when the cycle is over and your turn comes up.

In all seriousness though if he wanted a relationship he would've suggested a relationship. You are now a regular person he can call for a good time and a screw. If you are happy with that continue if not then you should stop.

[Asker]

Im beginning to think you are right. the next few days will tell.

[Mrsupaakeru]

Hey good luck with everything

[beenhurtb4]

he is selfish.take care