Did I possibly ruin my chances with my crush?

[Anonymous]

My crush flirts with me all the time, but I felt like I was more of a friend than anything to him. Last weekend he texted me just to talk at 10 pm, and we texted for a while, flirting back and forth. Eventually it got to an question that had been popping up a lot now. "So back to the question at hand, would you kiss me?"

This guy took me on my first date, since then a mutual friend who knows I like this guy keeps trying to get me to kiss him. Which I wouldn't do because I felt like he was really into me like that. I'd just die a little on the inside kissing him and him not liking me. He also never tried or asked on his own it was always our friend saying it, because he was too shy he says? I would always say no or dodge the question whenever me kissing him was brought up...

Which is exactly what I did when he texted me asking about it. I replied "When did that become the question at hand? :)" and he didn't reply back, but he treats me the exact same when I see him in person or text him again. I've kind of realized my fear and indecision are probably pushing him away. His love life is crap because he meets these great girls and then they just cut him off because they do want anything to happen (religious issues).

I think he might have got that same vibe from me...Did I possibly ruin my chances with him.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you've ruined your chances, though if this guy is like me, he's probably feeling down on his luck. It sounds like he's into you and is just afraid to make a move due to past failures. I've lost girls due to religious issues and t's left a negative effect on me. I question my faith sometimes and I also feel very unattractive. When you get cut off like that, you feel undateable and it does leave a lasting impression. He's probably been taken aback by your question because it may feel like he crossed over the safe zone and might get a rejection response at any time for sounding "creepy" or "pushy". I can't give you any real solution or advice to help you advance towards him, but I don't think you've lost him.

[Asker]

He's talked about his low self esteem and how he's been hurt badly and doesn't really put too much trust in girls. You guys sound similar, because he has talked about that undateable feeling and lasting impression.

[Opinion Owner]

I've told only my most trusted/wisest friends about such feelings because it really does hurt to live every day thinking that you may be stuck like this forever and I don't want to hear thoughtless answers or dumb replies regarding my mentality from just anyone. If we really are similar, he's into you. There's clearly a good level of trust between you for him to say such things to you. A good friend once told me that I should just step up and tell her (in your case him) that you like them.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you ruined your chances at all, he might perhaps just be a little bewildered by your response, he was prob expecting a yes or no answer. I know its hard to talk to someone you really like, I'm going through the same thing right now. But you gotta come out of your shell and say something positive back to him or he might feel rejected.

[Asker]

When I signed his yearbook I wrote some pretty positive stuff, like how he makes me look forward to school the thing I hate most, and how I'll miss him and stuff won't be nearly as fun w/o him. Saying that much is a lot for me...Dunno if he's read it yet though. He was expecting a lot from it.