Phone call or text message?

Why do girls take text messaging so seriously? Honestly, I have noticed on here that girls will judge a guy because he won't text back right away, won't text back nearly enough or he just doesn't text back sometimes.

What I find hard to believe is that most people will choose to text message someone rather than calling them up.

In my opinion you can tell a lot more about the person because of the way they talk to you, the tone of their voice, and you can figure out if they really are busy at the moment because if they are distracted then they will sound distracted, or they will actually be paying attention to you if they are not.

All I'm saying here is that girls or guys should not get to worried if you don't get a reply right away from a text message, and if you really need to communicate with that person then you should just call.

What does everyone think about this?

Phone Call > Text Messages! Yes!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I so agree with you 100% girl's go over board so much when there guy friend or boyfriend doesn't wright them back, every stop to think he could be busy with work, family, school stuff friends, the world doesn't go around you and you only. They have a life too.

    • Yeah! I know huh? I mean when she doesn't reply I don't sweat it! and 9 out of 10 times she was busy and the other 1 she didn't hear the phone! :p

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    • It's okay I gave ya best answe lol and an extra point, so I hope that made up for that! :P

      Yeah people seem to get kinda offended about trivial stuff huh? :<

    • I guess so, lol

What Girls Said 42

  • When a guy doesn't respond right away, we think that the guy doesn't like us enough to be excited when we text him. In our minds we cannot understand how a guy wouldn't be excited if a girl he liked texted him. We think that if the guy was really interested in us he would text back right away because he would be anxious to talk to us and get together as soon as possible and we figure he's just not interested if he doesn't immediately text back because it shows that he's in no hurry to see us again or talk to us. Its stupid but that's the way we think.

    • Were not puppies :(

      I mean we get excited but we aren't going to text you in like 30 seconds time you know? We do love it when we get text messages from girls but we sometimes don't reply back right away because we don't want to seem to clingy. Make sense? :P

    • Yeah it makes sense but girls think irrationally when their emotions become involved. When we like a guy its like an emotional roller coaster haha. He looks at us, we get happy. He smiles at us, we get happy. We text him and he doesn't text back in 2 minutes, we get upset and we think he's not interested. Then he texts us back in 5 minutes and were all happy and hopeful once again haha :D.

  • Well, me and my ex used to text each other a lot because it was entertaining and fun to read random texts from him, especially when I least expect it... Its like passing notes to your crush back in the day in elementary school, with the excitement about what he's going to write next... It's a nice way to communicate every now and then, but I believe a couple should also talk on the phone, not only text...A combination of both is my ideal thing...

    But with the case of my ex, he carried his phone with him literally EVERYWHERE... He would text as walked down the halls in college too, so if he didn't respond to me within the first 20-30 minutes, I would assume something is wrong since he always wrote back instantly...

    So for me, I'd have to know what the guy's lifestyle is like before I can get mad at the time it takes him to respond... If he works alot, I can understand...But It all depends on the guy...

  • I must say I agree with ggazelles. As far as text vs. calling goes I think texting is more casual. Like I might think a guy liked me if he called me a lot but I wouldn't be as quick to think that if we just text messaged a lot. Usually I give a guy a good 15 minutes to a half hour before I decide he isn't answering. It is kind of rude not to answer unless you're working/in the shower/etc., so I assume he's doing something like that if he doesn't answer. But I do expect that if you're doing one of those things you might be kind enough to at least tell me what you were doing at your earliest convenience, like within a day or so, otherwise I'll assume you're avoiding me, mad at me, or just a jerk so then I won't talk to you for a little while.

  • yeah, I agree with you, I prefer a guy to call me so I can actually hear his damn voice and I know he isn't doing something while he's texting me.

    Texting is a load of sh*t for me.

    If a guy doesn't text me back, I would get pissed for a bit-so calling is way more important. it shows that you have interest I think. texts are so impersonal

  • I totally agree...if you want to talk, call.

    I always thought the whole point of a text message was like email - they'll see it when they've got time to check their phone. Which means that it could be right then, or hours from now...not to mention that on occasion texting isn't instant. I've had a few never go through and some that delay for hours.

  • well what do you do if they don't respond for weeks? :/

  • It's not that girls take it seriously, it's that when you send someone a message or call them, you expect them to call/message you back in a timely fashion.

    For example, if you left a girl a voicemail, wouldn't you be a little annoyed if she just never called you back? And wouldn't you begin to question why she never got back to you? Is she just rude, does she not like talking to you, does she think you're irritating, did she not get the voicemail? That's how girls think.

    We'll send a guy a text in order to communicate efficiently and let them know that we don't expect a long convo from them, and we'll be pleased by our wittiness for about 5 minutes. After that, if we haven't heard back, we start to wonder why not. Most girls immediately think the guy is avoiding her (because boys do this regularly), rather than assuming he's busy/in the shower/whatever.

    My recommendation is to always return calls and texts from girls you like in a reasonable amount of time, otherwise they will begin to think that you're uninterested or a d-bag, regardless of what you say to them when you do talk.

    • Yeah, that's happened to me before. I was literally in the shower, I got out I didn't realize my phone had a message on it, then I get a text message again and it was her. She basically wrote "Fine, be that way." It's just irritating that a good ammount of girls judge guys by their text messaged and stuff. You know? :P

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    • Thanks, I do what I can haha.

    • Thats pretty pathetic. I would assume she's busy or is working on something. I wouldn't think she's avoiding me :P

      Well maybe I'm just more lax when I t comes to that stuff.

  • You have a really good point! But at least personally I have had a lot of rejection in the past that I usually get afraid that when a guy whom I'm the least bit interested in doesn't text back right away - if at all - then it's because he's ignoring me on purpose, even if the last time we saw each other he seemed pretty friendly.

    But now I've learned that it could be a number of reasons such as the guy was busy, the guy has lost his phone for some time [that was a real reason for one guy, and I had had ended up texting him a little too much and even writing to him on myspace and calling him to get a response right away], or the guy just didn't get the text at all.

    I also sometimes wonder if the guy not texting me first means that he's really not interested at all, but that isn't necessarily true either. Although I have more faith that the guy who goes out of his way to communicate to me in some way [usually texting] means that he's interested versus the guy who doesn't do that...

  • I agree! I never pay much attention to text messages. A phone call means so much more. I think most people text because they don't feel like talking to that person and its easy to just not text back .

  • Argh, my boyfriend practically disowns anyone that doesn't text him back straight away.

    It's like texts have a shelf life, if you don't text back within a certain time frame you're likely not to text back at all. Same goes with messages on Facebook and suchlike.

    I think texting is convenient though, I don't want a 20 minute conversation with someone if I just want to know one thing from them.

  • well, I've been seeing this guy for 4 months, and usually when we say goodnight he says : night sweetie xoxo. lately he has just been saying: Goodnight :) . am I looking to far into this or is there a deeper meaning to it.

  • I feel this way, and I know other girls do to. I don't know why we think it. It's just feels like we are being girls love attention and if they feel like they aren't getting attention, they get worried or upset that the person is ignoring them or that they said something wrong. I know that no one likes the feeling of pushing someone away. It bothers me most when I know that a guy is a constant text checker or has his phone on him always, and that he could be easily ignoring it. I think that's why we get so confused.

    Plus I call sometimes, but I don't want to call to much too seem like a creeper. haha.

    • This is so true!!! I've been seeing this guy for almost a month and we've seen each other quite a lot - he's made all the effort and the chemistry between us is amazing. The thing is, we've talked on the phone twice and the rest was all texting. He was just away all weekend and still hasn't texted me and we have plans for this coming weekend up north -I JUST texted him saying hi and hope he had a good weekend. I don't want him thinking this is cool because it isn't - a phone call is the minimum

  • yea I agree with you.. even though I have written about not getting a reply to my text before lololol the whole worried about a reply is actually because of the girls insecurities.. she texted in the first place as she was insecure.. and probably just wanted a hi or kiss or whatever no need for long convo. lolol and then when they don't answer.. its like cheesh? can't even do that? its not like ur asking for phone convo. but a simple text...lolol but yes.. a phone call does mean more.. and you are right.. but girls will be girls lol

    • Hahaha the way you use your "lolol" makes me laugh, its likr you're laughing as you're talking, heheh fun funz

    • I am lolol ha. girls know.. sometimes just can't help

  • lol insecurities and sensitivity -_- I personally never understood that of my friends would give me crap just because I would take a while to text her back, and it would p*ss me off that she'd use that against me...and we were just friends. I can't imagine how annoying it must be for guys when a girlfriend jumps to certain conclusions or gets p*ssed off like that.

  • i agree bout it being and emergency and calling not texting, and that's bout it!

    if I text I'm expecting you to text me back in a couple of shows that you are interested in US/what ya are talking about.

    i hate it when guys take forever. its like what is keeping you this long to not text me back, are you texting someone else..what?

    i mean I wouldn't mind if he was like..ill text you in a bit, I'm playing a video game/taking a shower/ talking to my parents..etc...

    but then again we have to be realistic

    guys will be guys...ugh

  • Well I must say that I am guilty of feeling this way as girls just can't help it, we are overly sensitve and over analyze everything..that is what we do...we were born with it...but honestly I do understand when someone does not message back right away,.,as they could be doing anything...but for the message to be totally ignored...yes that is when my panic would set in...although I have waited for responses back,.,I have never ever had a message not returned.,

  • Never underestimate the power of body language or the tone of voice.

    Many people are so into the instant gratification of texting and im'ing because it offers the protection of hiding behind a screen. Which is great if you're going out on a limb and risking rejection. But now people rely on it and deny themselves a wonderful tool- reading people's body language. So much information is given away non-verbally. And I think it takes away the ability to read if someone is honest in what they say. Hence the dangers of texting a potential date.

    I completely agree with your post. I see that a lot of the younger crowd (late teens to early 20's) rely so heavily on this form of communication... but they don't realize that they're compromising their own integrity. Step out from behind the screen and risk getting hurt. I find myself getting anxious if a guy doesn't respond within a few minutes (if I know he's not at work or with a group of people). I fear that I'm annoying him and he's ignoring me. So I become embarrassed and stop texting him. And then the vicious cycle of tag texting begins. We read too much into texting and messaging. All the more reason to use face to face contact or phone calls.

  • :::Hangs head in shame:::

    lol...i'm so guilty of feeling like the guy isn't interested or w/e because I get no reply. You're right about the phone call but this particular guy I'm referring to lives in chicago...i live in the bahamas phonecalls are mighty expensive trust me..the text is even expensive :) But yeah, you're so right.

  • girls do this because we have some sort of built in anxiety, especially when it comes to a guy we like.

    i learned not to assume someone doesn't like be just because they don't text back.

    though sometimes, that is the case...if I don't like someone, or I'm not interested in any way, shape, or form. I don't text back.

    but there's no way of stopping a girl from having that anxiety.

    you can assure her that that's not the case, and she will most likely act like she believes you.

    but she doesn't really. I don't know what else.

    i prefer calls, big time.

    text messages can be forwarded and all kinds of sh*t, I've experienced it.

  • I'm sure that it's just because they're worried about if he's just ignoring them, but if there were trust and communication in the relationship then they wouldn't have to worry about why their boyfriend didn't text them back. They would know why he didn't. I can't quite understand it because my man is military so I'm expecting not to get a reply and ecstatic when I do. I think girls need to stop complaining about petty things.

    • I'm military too, it gets in the way of everything :(

      I work in a ship and I get HORRIBLE reception in here too D:

    • Oh jeeze. I've heard about that and I've heard the phones on the ship make loud beep sound every so often so you have to talk really fast or repeat yourself a lot. Bases aren't much better for service, especially bases out in BFE...which it seems like that's where most of them are at teehee.

  • Some girls think, oh he didn't text back he doesn't want to talk to me at all. Girls do go way over board on that stuff.

  • texting = attention = gives her an indication that you like her

    I am actually a bad phone conversationalist. I prefer talking in person or texting. If someone isn't great at talking on the phone they will prefer messangers/texting.

    But I do agree girls worry too much when a guy doesn't respond to a text right away. If you find yourself getting wound up over not getting a reply to a text, you need to relax and think about why he may not respond, which is he's probably busy.. not because he doesn't like you.

  • Well what if they don't text OR call? It's a form of communication and let's us know they care or are thinking about us. If you can't be bothered to text us back then we're gonna feel a bit neglected and if you're too busy to text or call then why are we wasting our time on you? That tells us you don't have time for us in general. Well, that's me anyway. We like to hear from guys we like and want to feel like you're thinking about us. A random text gives us that feeling.

  • If a guy doesn't text me back right away, I don't freak out. I text them once and if they don't respond, I simply just wait for them to text me back. I won't text them again til they text me back.

  • it usually depends on the situation. if you're talking about a girlfriend getting pissed and guilt-tripping you for not answering right away or at all, I can see why you think it's annoying: you're already her boyfriend, she already has you--calm the hell down! however, if you don't know each other very well, and you don't answer something of hers ever, it shows her where she ranks on your list of priorities. in that case I understand a girl backing away, but not making a big deal to your face. really though, it's all relative. every situation is unique.

  • I'm guilty as charged hahah.

    because to me it's like, why the HELL would a guy just NOT RESPOND?

    I don't get it.

    especially if he is interested in her.

    do guys not realize that girls will think that you're ignoring her and aren't interested?

    it really sucks.

    and I don't feel comfortable calling people who I don't know that well [like if I'm just in the early flirting stages hahah]

    plus I haaate talking on the phone.

    • Might not quickly respond to a text because:

      -busy with work, school, a movie, a conversation, exercise, sleep, etc, etc, etc.

    • Ha ha ha! text messages go to the phone,not rite to the mind. :)

  • oh I prefer calling up over text but my friend hates it. Everytime we get in a tiff I try to call because I feel I can explain myself better where text always gets misconstrued.

  • I see text messaging is a convenient way to communicate with someone if you are multi-tasking. Sometimes if I am just not in the mood to text anymore (whether it be because I'm busy or tired) I just stop and hold it for the next day. I only have a problem if someone doesn't ever respond back, which is quite seldom.

  • if you send a text that says you will call her in 10 minutes, then I think you should call in 10 minutes, but if you are at work or she is, that comes first. tell her to relax! technology doesn't always make life easier. text messages/cell phones can cause stupid fights, so don't let them!

  • its pretty much natural for girls to be worried when the guy doesn't reply or takes time to do so. We over think/anaylze just about everything. Little things like not replying to a text makes us anaylze the situation and we'll think of all the reasons why he wouldn't be replying. What I don't get is...why it does take guys longer then girls most of the time to respond to a text. It's not that hard to pick up your phone and msg a quick reply. Putting in an effort even if it is just texting, shows you care.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Jesus tapdancin Christ textin can p*ss me off. sure a few texts in a day are no big deal, but nothing aggrivates me more than having to pick up the damn phone every 2 minutes to read some sh*t and respond imediately. I'm tryin to get sh*t done, and I can't be textin some stupid sh*t every 3 minutes. and if I don't respond right away I get that " you there?" crap. its so damn annoying. so indirect too. women, make a phone call now and then god damn! sure 1 text to see if they are busy or not before calling is convienient. phone calls can come at bad times, sure. but texting is a lot of work when you do it that much. I don't like putting forth that kind of effort. you can get so much more said and heard with a traditional phone call. like you said, then you can understand the tone of voice and over all attitude. I hate texting personally. before you know it, you have 100 messages on your phone and there still coming. half of the time I don't even respond to them, or make up some sh*t about how its runnin up my phone bill. if a girl wants to hear from me, I'll be glad to take her calls.

    and thank you for finally bringing this to attention, its time some one spoke up, so I appreciate it

  • Girls aren't going to like this, but it's because of their egos.

    Girls have huge egos. They would rather text than talk because they don't have to worry about being responsible for what they say. As long as they're not responsible, they don't have to deal with the consequences. And if they don't have to deal with the consequences, then they don't have to claim it as a fault of their own.

    Girls truly believe that they have no personality flaws or emotional faults, except when claiming that they're not perfect, because thinking their perfect is a bad thing as well. Girls want to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and they'll do whenever they have the opportunity to do it when they don't have to be responsible for the consequences.

    It may sound like I'm bashing, I'm not... I'm jealous.

  • Because they're dumb? Come on, chicks loved Hanson.

  • I agree completely, I hate texting versus calling...but then again texting was not around when I was 15-20!. lol I had a pager but it was a bitch to decode long messages! lol good ol days!.

  • girls tend to over-analyze everything.

  • because girls confuse conversation with communication

  • how old are you?

    OH, your 18 to 24, it says... okay...

    you are JUST waking up to the fact that women live in "crazyland"

    lmFao... its normal...

    EDITORS NOTE: do NOT confuse me saying "normal" with "good" or "optimum"

    its just NORMAL, is all... get used to it.

    I have women all figured out... in as much as there IS no figuring them out, don't waste your time... HEY, stuff my CATS do doesn't really make a lot of sense half the time, just like my old lady and half the sh*te she puts through her some days...


    I love my cats and the old lady just the same though... beats whacking off, I suppose...

    yo, dude to dude and all... if ME and YOU had crazy mood swings once a month... someone would MEDICATE US... hint, hint

  • i read some where that girls really like receiving letters an note

    it turns them on like those fabio novels

    they are just more connected with words

  • The problem I have with texts is my girlfriend is really really affectionate in texts saying how much she misses me likes me etc but on the phone or in person is rarely like that so I think texts give people an easy way to say something to please someone even if they don't mean it. Also things can easily be misread in texts and cause arguements which is never good.

  • hi's and what's ups don't need to be responded to right awayit gets old and repetitive

    emergencys should be responded to right away, I'm talking house on fire emergencys

    other than that its just quicker, that's why they like it

    • I guess so. I don't mind texting, but I wish it wasn't such a big deal when you don't text back for other reasons :>

    • Cause they like to be talked to of course, haha

  • F texting...seriously... I hate how I can't tell how my Girlfriend is when I text her you know. I can't see her face and hear her voice, and I can't catch sarcasm. Also if your text doesn't fallow through then she/he might be broken hearted.

    But on the other hand texting allows us to take time to compose a message instead of being on the spot. Its like writing a letter( which are cool to do)

    • Yeah, I know text messages are not 100% reliable. I would much rather write an actual note on a small piece of paper, than texting. Texting is so generic and boring you know?

  • There's an expert video on this. Watch it.