Girls how do you like a guy to approach you to dance at a club?

[Anonymous]

I've intuitively known that just creepily coming up behind a girl while she's dancing and starting to grind is a no-no.

I've tried going up to a girl making eye contact, smiling and touching her shoulder or arm and just directly asking if they want to dance. I tried that last night and it was 0 for 4.

So I consider myself an attractive guy and I'm in shape, I thought it would work if I was good looking enough to just go up to a girl directly and ask them to dance but maybe I was asking the wrong girls. I mean the girls I was asking were sitting down and maybe they weren't the dancing type or don't want to dance with strange men just with their girlfriends or something.

But does a direct approach like that work if the girl wants to dance with a guy or should I be talking a little more and then leading into asking them to dance? Did I just get unlucky?

[DishLady]

If a guy comes up from behind and puts a hand on my arm/shoulder, smiles and politely asks me to dance or to let him get me a drink, then that's nice. If a guy just steps in front or behind me and starts grinding, he's creepy and I want nothing to do with him.

If I'm sitting down and a guy actually takes the trouble to look over, flirt or come to where I'm sitting to introduce himself, that's also nice. I think it's creepy for a guy to but you a drink and keep sitting far away from you, watching you drink it. I never understood the point of that and don't accept the beverage under those circumstances.

If we're at a dance club, it's hard to chat a girl up, so flirtatious but respectful body language and touch are key.

[Anonymous]

TBH I hate it when guys do this at clubs,I want to just dance and have a good time. Not interested in hooking with anyone and dislike guys coming up to me.

Having said that if you really wanted to come up to a girl i.e.me, the best bet you can do is smile and ask me a question like 'Are you having a good time?, who have you came with?' If I want to carry on the convo I will, if I don't then leave it and move on.

Not sure why guys think that girls on a night out what to be chatted up, yeah some do and a lot don't.

[Opinion Owner]

*want not what

[Frunkiss]

I am obviously not a girl but I try to talk for a little bit to soften them up, like 30 seconds and then ask. If there is a circle of girls I might ask to dance in their circle. This doesn't always work if they are having a girls night and just acting weird with their friends and not really looking for guys. I think you just got unlucky too. If they were open to dancing with strange guys they would. It is a complete numbers game sometimes. I laugh when I hear about guys that just grab a girl from behind and start grinding on her. All of my female friends hate that so much. I have never heard of it working.