Why do guys say "I'm not hitting on you, but..." and then hit on you?

[nollie33]

I swear every time I go out guys approach me to buy me a drink or something and they start with that line. This weekend this guy comes up to me and says "I'm not hitting on you but can I buy you a drink?" ... Like seriously, why preface your offer with such a negative vibe? I was instantly turned off and just wanted him to go away. But thinking back on it... If he'd just approached me aggressively and made his intentions known I would have been so much more interested. Nothing's hotter than a guy who just takes control.

So why do guys do this? Is it just fear?

And just my 2 cents... This is why girls end up rejecting the "nice" guy... Because that kind of weak "nice" guy behavior is a real turnoff.

[Anonymous]

Thats why us guys should just give up and women should take control in the whole dating/asking out procedures. Everything we do is wrong. If we are nice and "weak" its a turn off, if we are agressive and maybe come on too strong, its a turn off. Maybe you should try it and be the one to risk it and approach guys and get shot down every time because your approach was off by a little bit. I'm sure if women were the ones doing the asking out, there would be almost no dates.

[nollie33]

Actually I have never been in a relationship that I did not initiate. I've also been rejected a lot... But still I would never approach a guy by displaying such lack of confidence in myself. That's the time to be your cockiest! Lol

[Opinion Owner]

I agree and when I approach women I try to be as sure in myself as I can and this is why women think I'm arrogant and they have told me so (in plain English and even sign language!). But I have found out that the "weak" approach sometimes works, especially if a girl already knows my personality and I act a bit helpless, she will usually let me get away with whatever I want to "force" her into :P

[2much]

I gues it's because few bad experience or sometimes we heard bad stories like the girl humiliated the guy or some freak heads with the ghb thing make some guy feel like the girl will see him as a sexual predator

ironically it's a good way to start a conversation and even more!

maybe you just fall on a shy guy who want to make a move but he doesn't use the proper words

[ManaX]

Trying to confuse you about the reason for their advances, but it's very easy to see through. I guess they are just trying to be different...but in the same way. I agree though, the more forward/aggressive guys are more attractive. (Although maybe a guy would become more like that the better he knows you, rather than with random girls he doesn't know).

[LexiNinja]

He's selling himself too short. Probably doesn't want to come on too strong or seem like a "creep" Which I think he probably didn't want to give you the oppression that he wanted to get in your pants, since many women assume that every guy who gives them the time of day, wants them

[KERMlT]

They are trying to give you a compliment, not hitting on you.

[Sozrash]

You've been approached by sissies😎

[Konnour]

They suck.