I tried to ask this another way but I don't think folks got what I was trying to say so I am going to try a different approach.
I am often telling women to accept men as men--to accept how they view the world and to make allowances for their fears and the things that make them truly wonderful and masculine.
However, on the flip side, I see a growing trend of males who will mock and ridicule girls for feminine insecurities and flaws. And we wonder why there is a rise in girls cutting themselves?
Here is a news flash dude--women are not men--they are women. If you want ladies to respect your need for space, and to love you even if you are thin, don't make a million dollars, or look like Brad Pitt can't yah give a girl an inch when she asks about how fat she looks in her jeans?
We ALL have things that worry us--and I am sorry, but women DO have a ton of pressure on them to look "hot" and not just from media perceptions. Men are by nature very visual. The fact that even deeply in love, committed men cannot help looking at beautiful ladies ( and who can blame them) shows that they enjoy pleasing physical views and shapes.
When a woman asks you if you find her attractive, she is saying she cares about pleasing you and keeping you around.
I mean, if she just let herself go and got fat and lazy, you'd be complaining about how she didn't do it for you any more, right?
Women make a ton of mistakes in the dating arena-- *raising hand* been there, done that bought the t-shirt. Another news flash--men make dating mistakes too.
I grew up, lucked up and married a great NICE guy! He has insecurities about being five one, but I do not roll my eyes and tell him to get over it or act as if he is an insecure basket case. I nurture and love him and remind him of all the wonderful qualities he has that makes me kiss the ground he walks on. To me, he is ten feet tall and no one can touch him--he is my hero, my rock and my one true love.
I give him what he is seeking—validation and reassurance. Why not? What does it cost me to do this?
Stop trashing women for wondering if you desire them of if they wonder if they look fat or seek compliments—feel happy that she cares enough to want to look good and attractive for you and make sure you always knows that she is an angel in your eyes.
In time, her insecurity will cease and you will have built a solid relationship built on respect for her femininity and her fragile humanity.
We are different by design and this okay--instead of complaining about it accept and love it--men and women are special beings and need to learn to accept even the things that drive us crazy about one another.
- Actually, although they drive me nuts, I love women the way they areVote A
- Because they do not comprehend female qualities and feel they should change to accommodate themVote B
- Men do not understand that we are inherently different and that this is okayVote C
- Because men think the male way is better and think girls act stupidVote D
Most Helpful Guy
one of the biggest mistakes I think many of us make is that we believe all men act a certain way and all women act a certain way but although we have things in common with people of the same sex that's really not true. Men and women have a lot of the exact same feelings...society and culture has just taught us to express them differently... so some women are quite similar to some men and some aren't...i think is a more appropriate way to put it
So I like your comments. Its really about accepting differences that make relationships work.
But when someone fishs for compliments all the time it gets annoying. SO I wouldn't blame the other partner for getting mad. After all, if you love someone so much and they still can't be reasonably secure about themself...then you kind of feel like you wasted your time loving them and supporting them and telling them they look fine...when the person still asks everyday its like..."DO YOU LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL You LOOK FINE"... its just natural for most people to want to be with someone confident and secure...
Women are also visual by nature and women check out cute guys all the time even when their in relationships... yes I think women are more willing to accept a guy when he gains a bit of weight but that doesn't mean they don't notice its there..
Finally I think in a relationship both parties need to change themself a little bit...or the end up changing. SOme women stereotypically become more masculine or more feminine. Same for men..its something that happens naturally as their around each other alot. I think if the slight change doesn't occur then the relationship gets extremely rocky and arguementative.
BUt I liked your comment it was useful to point out.