Guys, if a girl is dressed modestly does it make you want to approach her less? What makes you approach her?

Question

That's what a friend of mine said. I mean reasonably modest, not a burka or pioneer dress. I mean something like this link link link link link link you get the idea.

The reason I'm asking is because I usually dress a lot like that. You know some dress or skirt with leggings beneath. Not really short all my dresses or skirt end one - 3 inch above the knees. And sometimes jeans with a shirt or long shirt too. I don't really feel comfortable with showing more skin.

I was recently complaining to a friend that I'm having so much trouble finding a boyfriend and he was like "well your not showing enough skin"

I was like wtf. I never even thought about that. But he said I was dressed to modest and guys would assume I'm already taken, so they don't ask me out. Is that true? I had never considered it. He said if I went to school more dressed like this link link link I would have a boyfriend in no time. Really? I wouldn't really feel comfortable wearing those.

Lastly, what makes you want to approach a girl?

I know I'm not totally ugly.I often get told I have a pretty face. I guess I could lose some weight, but it's not too bad (U.S. size 5) and I think I'm not a totally bitch either. I go out, I'm sociable but I've never had a boyfriend. I don't know what but obviously I'm doing something wrong.

In my department (computer science) there are tons of guys. It's in the same building as Math and engineering departments so again tons of guys. I get tons of looks too, but that's it no one ever approaches me. When I try to smile at them they quickly look away.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm struggling with the same issue but I'm a life science major.
Ya I've seen the compsci guys and they're just really bad at socializing. Like so awkward and some act like they've never seen a girl before! They don't know how to act right so don't take things personal.

Guys in my departments (chem and bio) suck at interacting with girls too. They never make a move.
It's pretty frustrating but I understand it so I don't feel so bad. I try to smile and send signals but those guys seriously can't take a hint (or maybe they're just not into me... I see them with other girls but with me they act different).

I still haven't had a boyfriend and honestly I'm considering walking around campus to meet guys outside my major.

And your fine if you dress modest just find a guy who's also a modest dresser... did read that link with the yellow dress? She said she has a boyfriend, see she dresses modest and has a bf!
Dress slutty if you want a hook up or casual relationship. Stay true to who you are for a long term relationship.
Good luck and GOD BLESS!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

like that other guy said: "You'll get the WRONG kind of guys aproaching you with those 'transparent' shirts and so on."

Keep dressing the way you're dressing. The way you get a guy is the way you keep him. You want someone attracted to YOU, not your body.

Also, engineering guys aren't "too nerdy" or whatever. The school I go to has a huge engineering program and tons of those guys have girlfriends. I agree though that they might think you are taken...I suppose you could just try being more social and friendly and stuff(not saying that you aren't those things at all...just increase what you're doing) and smile, be approachable, etc.

ShyAndPetiteAsian · Accepted Answer

Even though I dress modestly and never expose anything,people still call me sexy and I still have younger guys approaching me on the streets at this age .For work,I always wear a top with a skirt that is 2 inches above my knee or with a pair of jeans.I wear light make-up and wear heels that are one inch high.How could modesty be a bad thing? ?Have confidence in yourself. :)

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

No disrespect to your friend, but he is wrong. There are plenty of guys who like girls who dress like your first set of links. I know because I am one of them. The clothes like the second link are either more appropriate for a night out or just not at all. If you have standards, stick to them. The most I would tell you to do would be to get rid of the stockings (or whatever they are) in links one and 2 because I think they look a little too nerdy (unless that's the look you want).

Usually, if a guy looks away when you smile at him, that's a sign that he thinks you're cute and he likes you, but is shy or may not be used to pretty girls smiling at him. If I were in such guy's position, it would help me be a little more at ease about approaching you if you would give a flirtatious little wave, give some sort of "oh, that's so adorable" look (like puppy eyes), giggle a tiny bit, or signal me to come over to you. Or approach him and start talking with him. Whatever you do, write down your name and phone number and leave it with him.

M_A_X · Accepted Answer

The fact that you're getting looks means that guys are attracted to you. Don't feel bad that you haven't been approached, guys these days are terrified of being shot down, and the ones who aren't are usually players. If you like a guy, there's nothing wrong with you trying to show interest in him, to maybe put the idea in his head that he has a chance.

Girls that are dressed slutish will be approached more often, but not by the kind of men you'd probably want. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable. I prefer it when a woman is comfortable enough with herself to not have to dress up anytime she goes anywhere just to get attention.

bond_007 · Answer

actually dressing modestly is what makes me approach a girl, cause girls wearing showy clothes are not my type... be sure that wearing modestly doesn't make you less attractive, and as many have said here if you showed more skin you'll get more attention but not the kind you want, it's a fake attention, cause they're actually attracted to your body and the last thing they would care about is your personality & who you are.

I guess guys are just intimidated by you, so try to go to the guy you're interested in getting to know and strike a small convo with a smile & hopefully things will be as you wish, but keep wearing what you wear cause it's very cute and adorable.

Just a question; what do you wear when you go to the beach or the pool?

AndyWes · Answer

It's not if she's dressing modestly, it's much more if she's dressing attractively. You can dress attractively showing plenty of leg and cleaveage, or you can dress attractively and be stylishly modest.

And... hate to say something bad about the guys who will invent all sorts of cool gizmos, program computers I use, and advance our technology--but computer science, math, and engineering guys are often more nerdy and less brazen. Less likely to approach a girl.

Some groups are more likely to be brazen, even if it's just due to what they're in. Drama guys, the pre-law students doing mock trial, communication majors--will likely be more outgoing and confident, if only because it's partially what they're learning--how to approach and talk to people.

martyfellow · Answer

Probably the mostlymale atmosphere discourages guys there from approaching you they either assume you're taken, or don't have the confidence to approach you with all the other guys around.

No, dressing modestly, with a skirt and leggings, is a lot more attractive than looking slutty. You'll get the WRONG kind of guys aproaching you with those 'transparent' shirts and so on.

Try joining clubs at your school that aren't so much all male, for one thing. You might consider asking one of the guys for coffee..it's the 21st century!

RiceBall · Answer

well first of all, your guy will come, its not because you're not showing enough skin, don't listen to that... and the reason guys look away is because those guys are just intimidated and they are scared of making the wrong move or worried they might do something stupid.. its pretty common..

Me personally id go for the first set of links but what they wear wouldn't even be on my mind, if I found a girl I think is cute, what she's wearing is the last thing on my mind tho I would check her out but what's on my mind is conversation, more ehh "exposure" I guess.. basically id try to spend more time with her so she's more comfortable around me, if you wear stuff like the first set of links you're fine..

my advice would be to appear less intimidating? lol but its not your fault the guys around you are insecure and timid lol you can always approach them! I mean guys love being approached, just as much as girls

Anonymous · Answer

I applaud you for dressing the way that you do.

Only someone who would love you for you wouldn't like the real you.

If you ever date a guy who wants you to look like a slut in public then he's not for you.

Behind close doors is a different thing because, he don't want everybody looking at you.

I like the conservative look so, don't change who you are.

Most men like that look of the real you it makes us use our imagination.

The guys don't approach you because you seem like the good apple at the top of the tree.

You're hard to get to but, the best to have so, just wait on that right guy to climb that tree.

OfAfricandescent · Answer

I think if you dress like the women in the second set of links, you'll get a lot more attention. But that doesn't mean those guys who notice you will be boyfriend material. I don't believe a guy will look at a women and think she's taken because of how she is dressed. If a guy finds you attractive, he'll either approach you because he's confident enough or he isn't.

hoodratsk8r · Answer

Okay you said it yourself you are surrounded by engineers and computer guys they are incredibly nerdy.And you aren't dressing like a school marm.Or frumpy the stuff you wear regularly is cute I would walk over to talk to you.I think a women that doesn't show tons of skin is sexier because she is refined and not a whore.But if you show no skin at the beach then you should probably get a new bathing-suit

Theguyoverthere · Answer

The more revealing you get, the more attention you get, but it can backfire too. You may get guys only wanting to hook up with you and they'll assume you like the attention of multiple guys and not regard you as boyfriend material.

How you dress will attract the type of guy you want. So if you dress revealing, you'll get someone who wants to hook up where if you are fully clothed, the guy should be safer knowing that you're not flaunting your body all over the place.

parkway · Answer

White top and blue jeans, worn with a smile and hair pulled back. That is what makes a woman look hot. Being in computer science is being in a room full of nerds you need to make the first move.

A woman who looks like a slut is not the girl you take home to mother.

Firesparks · Answer

A dress like this great on a girl n yet same time your covered but... I don't your doing anything wrong.. it's more than likely that there's something up with the guys.. Heck I'm single n yet I'm not approached either...

dawnfang · Answer

But he said I was dressed to modest and guys would assume I'm already taken, so they don't ask me out." What kind of logic is that? Girls that dress modest are taken, but girls that do not dress modest are not taken. People just dress how they dress. Personally, I have trouble approaching any girl, regardless of how she is dressed. I like how you dress, it's nice. If the guys seems to nervous to approach you, you could try approaching them?

Anonymous · Answer

I would look at it the other way, even if true - girls who dress modestly get approached at normal rates, whilst girls who dress audaciously get approached at abnormally high rates. It's not the good kind of attention a self-respecting girl would want.

bonedust · Answer

uhh... just dress like a human being. Talk to more guys and stop waiting to be approached, a guy might like getting attention. If you dress like the links I might think you're desperate or a slut... no offense.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't care how a girl dresses with the exception of slutty, that is, if her face isn't attractive game over right there. So face first and a must. I've never assumed a girl is married or not going by how she dresses either. Your problem could be that you are intimidating to guys. As far as those links go, I'd jump at a change if I was out going enough and I thought I stood a chance with a girl like that girl in the first link bar none. So is it by the way dress, I think not.

bibmichael1 · Answer

i feel a more  modestly dressed woman is easer for me to approach her and talk one I am not the best looking or the brightes guy and if a girl is dressed I don't know what the word is but more hot she will atrackt better looking men maybe not better men pluse more modest guys one that are not the best looking or smartest tend to be  more honest and loyle but not always

ForeverYours39 · Answer

All I'm gonna say is this:

A size 5 does not need to lose weight. I'm a 3-5 and people are always telling me I'm skinny and whatever. I'm not a twig or anything. But we are not in need of losing weight.

That is all.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys are starring at you ! That means that your a attractive girl...its when guys don't look at you and completely ignore you :) if men don't look at you ,it probably means that you look ugly or something. Attractive equals  Beautiful looking

shumailkazimi · Answer

i don't know about others but I'm fond of modesty and simplicity ...thats my take

Dylan1989 · Answer

it's the other way round for me. if a girl dresses more classy and elegant I would be too intimidated to approach her.

kheserthorpe · Answer

If what you're doing isn't working try something different.

Guys, if a girl is dressed modestly does it make you want to approach her less? What makes you approach her?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said