Why do ask girls to take care of them?

I'm seeing this guy, we are Just dating. We were speaking how can you show me that you appreciate each other in certain ways. Like a teddy bear, clothes, etc... He was telling me how I need to take care of him and he will do the same. Right things are tough for him and always for me. Where I believe that his is his first relationship cause I'm his first. He would get me something too, but he wants to see what I can do for him? IF I do something like this would it bring us closer into becoming something official. Is this normal that dudes ask this to a female.

 

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, and the fact that you are asking this question shows why dating dynamics in American culture are so messed up right now. Not trying to attack you since your not that way you are on purpose. What I'm mean by that statement, is its become common practice for girls to feel like they are not required to do anything in a relationship. They have this sense of entitlement based only on their gender. They feel that just because they are a women, men are required to bend over backwards for them without question and without expecting anything in return. In other words women have been taught to take advantage of male chivalry and social standards between gender interaction. Even if its a subconscious set of actions.

    For example, a man is obligated to open the door for you, help you change your tire, or give you his jacket when its cold, pay for dinner, etc. Society will view him negatively if he doesn't. Women soon either consciously or subconsciously learn that these favors are always readily available, free (not necessarily in a monetary sense) and cannot be refused to them as long as they keep themselves surrounded by men or better yet, have a boyfriend.. As a result, relationships become nothing but the women taking from her man and using him as her personal servant for anything from emotional support to monetary support and everything else in between.

    Now don't get me wrong, us men don't have a problem doing these nice things for you, in fact we enjoy it. The issue is that we don't feel our feelings, affection, money, time, energy, is reciprocated as much as it should be. As a result, relationships start to feel like a one way street that benefits only the women.

    Things like cooking him dinner, taking him out on a date, planning a night for him and you, taking him to see his favorite sports team, buying him that nice new watch he wanted, being his support when he's having a tough time at work or in school, is not only OK, its encouraged. It shows that not only does she care for you, but she is willing to be an equal contributor in the partnership. If you went into business with a friend and she was lazy and made you do everything, how would that make you feel and how would you handle it? Yeah you would be pissed, drained, and would cut ties with her. Exactly what us guys do.

    I'm not sure where this came from because its a fairly recent thing, but I think its a combination of feminism and girls being pampered and treated like princess by their parents and especially fathers since usually self sufficiency is not pressured on to female children as much as males.

    Simply put, this how a relationship should be. Both people having each others backs. It's called a partnership for a reason. Treat him like he's your king and he'll treat you like he's your queen. Treat him like he's your servant and he'll hit the road.

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