My ex-boyfriend broke up with me last Fall because he said he was confused and was moving way too fast (and he was). We continued to hang out as friends because we always got along really well, and still liked each other. But we quickly progressed to being amazing lovers as well. He is the only guy I've made such a connection with because we have such undeniable chemistry!
I thought I could handle being intimate with him, but soon realized my feelings for him were growing every time I saw him. We usually see each other about once a week, and text almost daily (it's been 5 months).
The other night, however, after we hung out and had a lot of fun (both platonic and sexual), things immediately felt *different* between us, like we were boyfriend/girlfriend again. Before I left his apt, there was a moment at the door where he didn't want me to leave and I didn't either. He asked what was on my mind since I kept staring into his eyes and smiling. I told him he already knew.
Two minutes after I left his apartment, he texted me asking what it was I wanted to say to him. I told him that I (still) like him and wish I had a second chance with him.
He replied "I don't know what to say." and "Thanks. for telling me"
That was two days ago and I'm too afraid to contact him. Did he reject me? Honestly, what do you think I'm desperately looking for any input!
I don't understand how we can act like we're dating - but he won't date me! I know he's not seeing anyone else, and he isn't focused on school either. And most importantly, I've brought up my feelings for him before and he's been reluctant to talk about it/becomes uncomfortable and changes the subject. But the other night, I was pretty obvious what I was thinking and he asked me anyway. He asked the question he already knew the answer to! Why would he press me to tell him if he didn't feel the same way?
Thank you for reading this!
I thought I could handle being intimate with him, but soon realized my feelings for him were growing every time I saw him. We usually see each other about once a week, and text almost daily (it's been 5 months).
The other night, however, after we hung out and had a lot of fun (both platonic and sexual), things immediately felt *different* between us, like we were boyfriend/girlfriend again. Before I left his apt, there was a moment at the door where he didn't want me to leave and I didn't either. He asked what was on my mind since I kept staring into his eyes and smiling. I told him he already knew.
Two minutes after I left his apartment, he texted me asking what it was I wanted to say to him. I told him that I (still) like him and wish I had a second chance with him.
He replied "I don't know what to say." and "Thanks. for telling me"
That was two days ago and I'm too afraid to contact him. Did he reject me? Honestly, what do you think I'm desperately looking for any input!
I don't understand how we can act like we're dating - but he won't date me! I know he's not seeing anyone else, and he isn't focused on school either. And most importantly, I've brought up my feelings for him before and he's been reluctant to talk about it/becomes uncomfortable and changes the subject. But the other night, I was pretty obvious what I was thinking and he asked me anyway. He asked the question he already knew the answer to! Why would he press me to tell him if he didn't feel the same way?
Thank you for reading this!
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He could just not know what he wants.
Men can be just as indecisive as girls. If he was going to reject you, he would have done so, by saying "That's sounds wonderful but I don't feel the same". Hell, the man said "thanks for telling me", a man doesn't thank you for just anything. Obviously you are very important to him. Cut out the text message crap, you should have stated your feelings then.
A text is impersonal, meaning, it's just a message, you can't judge how the other person reacted or anything.
I think he does like you, but he doesn't know what to do or think. You two need to sit down and openly discuss what's going on with you two. Arrange to meet, tell him how you feel, talk about what you want, find out what he wants. Come to a compromise.
Just cut the crap out of it and be real about it.
Coming from personal experiance, sometimes when you feel like youve moved too fast too soon and plus you are still young, it can be so much easier to just express your feelings but not have that offical tie to them. Being with someone but not "actually" being with them sometimes can make you see what you had when you were together... but you have the openess to decide if you want that back or not. And yes he probably isent ready to be seriously dating you. Sometimes its easier to just keep
Exactly what Bambi said (creepy and slightly ironic that I have a bambi avatar), but I still think you need to sit down and talk to him.
Explain how you feel, listen to how he feels. Compromise.
I'm worried that I've lost that opportunity to sit down and talk with him. I'm scared that I've already said too much & that I might scare him off if I approach him about it again. In the past, when I tried to talk to him about it directly, he got squirmish and said "I don't know." He seems to be more candid when it's not face to face, which kinda sucks.
I want to sit down and explain everything to him, I do!! But I'm afraid he won't...
Hes not going to completely stop talkin to you becuz you just said that you still had feelings for him. So if you feel up to it just try to casually bring it back up ..... maybe.... when you're hanging out just say "Out of curiousity.... did you not know that I stilled liked you?" maybe don't let him know HOW MUCH you still like him, but I mean he has to know you still like him or you wouldn't be messing round with him? ya know? Maybe then you'll get a chance to ask him if he likes you still...
Make it low key, don't make it a huge deal, even though it is. A relaxation situation is key to any diplomatic situation. My ex wanted a relationship when we hooked up back in December, I told him no, because I wasn't ready. Now I'm a little nervous about approaching him and asking him if he still wants that, because now, I want it.
As I tell many of my female friends in times like these,
Just go put on your big girl panties and get over it.
Get over the nervousness, what's the harm in talk?
Your situation is similar to mine. When you hooked up with your ex in December and rejected him, did he move on? Did he try again? Did he leave you alone? Did he still keep in contact with you? I guess the better question is- did you WANT him to move on from you after that? I know my ex would still want sex, that's a no brainer, but if he's UNSURE, I don't want to keep pressing him.
We still contact each other, we actually started a very low key sexual relationship while working out our problems. He acknowledged that I didn't want a relationship at that time, and we're close. We're monogamous (his want, so I compromised).
He and I just flat out dragged our feelings out into the open, and compromised to make it work for us.
From personal experiance, sometimes its just so much easier to spend time with someone and let things take their course when you have already moved too fast and too soon at your age previously... moving too fast and making things serious just increasing risk for disaster. When you get too serious sometimes you can lose that feeling you have when you are first falling for someone you know what I mean? For someone who isn't ready for the bigger picture, casual is the best thing. It can feel overwhelmingly great to just have someone you care about close, to figure out what you want together. He does care for you or he wouldn't of cared enough to ask what you were thinkin when you were lookin in his eyes... If it were me I would just let him know how you feel, but don't scare him away by trying to go back to where you were b4, if he was ready for that, you already be back there completely.
(It also doesn't help that he's beyond gorgeous, and I am completely lovestruck and dumb-founded when he looks me in the eye!!!!!!!)
i think you should wait. some guys just want to have a little fun with their ex's and that's about it.
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