This guy I really like, both of us are 20 years old and go to same college (my first crush, so I didn't know how to handle the feelings). We used to talk often the first month 1/2 we met, but, he started liking this other girl and distancing himself from me and now they're dating. I think he used to like me but I blew it, I got really nervous around him (mind blank, body shaking, start conversations that probably gave him wrong impression), got really quiet and acted like I wasn't interested. I noticed he got really uncomfortable around me but yet he'd still sit and talk to me, he doesn't now though just walks fast past me, says hi and bye and won't look at me. He also ignored my FB message asking for his number after my phone had deleted all my contacts, plus he avoids me but I've caught him watching me with narrowed eyes as avoids me. The last time he said something other than hi to me; he avoided eye contact, talked monotone, eyes narrow and looked annoyed/upset with me.
I also admit to 'accidentally' running into him a lot at school, because I wanted to see him, sometimes 4x's a week, one - 2x's a day. I once made it obvious I was watching him in the cafeteria, sitting facing him and talking loudly to friend, he ended up leaving. I'm very embarrassed now of my lack of self control and wish I could take that day back and all the days I ran into him, plus this day I asked him if he was avoiding me if I made him uncomfortable.
Its now been a month since I've had a real conversation with him and a few weeks since he and that girl got together and I still think about him constantly, I've tried to forget thinking about him and distracting myself but he still shows up in my dreams, and creeps into my mind when I wake-up and throughout the day until he's on the back of mind and all I can think about. Its horrible and pure torment. I've talked to my family about it, wrote down my feelings and cut all contact with him. I admit I have obsession and it honestly scares me and I want it to end, I pray to God often to help me forget. I once even broke down and asked God to put and end to this mental torment when I couldn't stop replaying in my mind all my mistakes with him and think about how he probably used to like me but I blew it, or blew a potential friendship with a good/nice guy. I want to be friends but my body starts shaking and I get nervous whenever I think I'm going to see him or whenever I do see him, its horrible I just want it to stop. I also am fighting this irrational hope in my mind that one-day he'll open his eyes and like me and the gut feeling I got, when I first heard about the relationship, that it wasn't going to last and the voice in my head that says "wait this relationship out", but I don't want to pin my hopes on one guy I want to move on.
Any advise on how to get over this obsessive crush would be much appreciated.
I also admit to 'accidentally' running into him a lot at school, because I wanted to see him, sometimes 4x's a week, one - 2x's a day. I once made it obvious I was watching him in the cafeteria, sitting facing him and talking loudly to friend, he ended up leaving. I'm very embarrassed now of my lack of self control and wish I could take that day back and all the days I ran into him, plus this day I asked him if he was avoiding me if I made him uncomfortable.
Its now been a month since I've had a real conversation with him and a few weeks since he and that girl got together and I still think about him constantly, I've tried to forget thinking about him and distracting myself but he still shows up in my dreams, and creeps into my mind when I wake-up and throughout the day until he's on the back of mind and all I can think about. Its horrible and pure torment. I've talked to my family about it, wrote down my feelings and cut all contact with him. I admit I have obsession and it honestly scares me and I want it to end, I pray to God often to help me forget. I once even broke down and asked God to put and end to this mental torment when I couldn't stop replaying in my mind all my mistakes with him and think about how he probably used to like me but I blew it, or blew a potential friendship with a good/nice guy. I want to be friends but my body starts shaking and I get nervous whenever I think I'm going to see him or whenever I do see him, its horrible I just want it to stop. I also am fighting this irrational hope in my mind that one-day he'll open his eyes and like me and the gut feeling I got, when I first heard about the relationship, that it wasn't going to last and the voice in my head that says "wait this relationship out", but I don't want to pin my hopes on one guy I want to move on.
Any advise on how to get over this obsessive crush would be much appreciated.
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