Why does my boyfriend ignore emotions?

[Anonymous]

I've come to notice that my boyfriend of half a year has tendencies to ignore emotional conversations. I'm not talking about the lovey dovey stuff, since he's good at that. But if I text him something like "I feel like our relationship is not the same anymore" or "I feel like I don't fulfill you in one way or another" he ignores them COMPLETELY! The next day he'll call me or meet me up like I have never said those things. I've only texted him these things twice, and got ignored both times. Once when I brought it up face to face, he started stuttering and looking for excuses to back out of the conversation.

Why is that? Do you think he's emotionally inapt in someway?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do. I also think that in addition to him being emotionally inept, I don't think he's going to get better. Some people just refuse to deal with this kind of stuff. They rather things be kept simple, and completely uncomplicated. Never uncomfortable. I think he will continue to ignore you and your emotional problems.

What I believe you should do, here, is tell him your problems, face to face. Don't even let him change the subject. If he tries, cut it off, and demand he tells you why he keeps pulling this crap. Tell him that talking about this stuff is important, and he needs to listen. If this ends up being too much resistance, then this is proof that this will not change. So, you have to make a choice about whether you want to deal with that. A choice about whether or not he's worth all that, or if you want someone better.

In short I say confront him and give him a last chance, but if it doesn't work out, just dump him. This won't get better, and you certainly can find someone better. Think about it.

[Asker]

I think you've hit the nail on the spot. He's not going to change. And yes he completely comes off as a guy who wants to keep things extremely simple and uncomplicated. It might have to do with his upbringing? Since he was left alone to fend for himself during his teenage years. I didn't pursue the topic because I didn't want to come off as a nag, lol yeah us girls are pretty self conscious about that :P But I guess it's time I take a stab at it. Thanks so much!

[Opinion Owner]

No problem.

[CrystalMinds]

Some guys (and girls) aren't really into the emotional stuff and talking about every little thing that happens in a relationship and life. But why do you send those messages through text? If they're that important and serious to you, talk face to face, if he walks away or ignores it, you can confront him with that behavior (tell him you notice that he avoids conversations about that topic, don't blame him like "YOU always ignore stuff like this! because if you go like that, good luck talking to him...).

[Asker]

Thanks CrystalMinds!

[CrystalMinds]

No problem! But don't push the emotional talk, if he doesn't want to talk about it, pushing him will push him away.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because he doesn't know how to handle them?