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Is she playing games? If not then what's going on?

I have a female friend who I care a great deal for as a friend and potently more. She turned me down when I asked her out. Then she became very close to me introduced me to her family. Started texting everyday, hanging out a couple of times a week. She often refers to our friendship as complicated. She suddenly stooped all contact with me and after a couple of months calls and asks to come over. She says that she got back together with her controlling ex and he wants her to have nothing to do with me. She starts crying and said she wasn't going to lose me, that I meant to much to her. We stayed friends but not nearly as close. She has since broken up with this man and accused me of trying to start problems for by talking to her. We've be fighting on and off since that conversation. Recently she started contacting me out the blue. The last one was she was going to ask me to do something and then changed her mind mid dial. We've been friends for 3 years now. She knows I want more and I'm confused by recent events.

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • I think that there could be two options, firstly if she was in a controlling and probably emotionally abusive relationship she is having a hard time adjusting to not being in that kind of relationship. It really emotionally drains you when you are being controlled by someone because it makes you go crazy. Which would explain her freaking out on you because of something that may have happened to her a lot called "gaslighting". Soo.. there could be two options she is either not over her ex and is still hoping to be with him or she is confused by your actions and you being a nice person to her. Honestly, I would say that she is not over her ex and needs a lot of time and support to get through it... maybe that is where you come in because she gets support from you but not in the way you desire.

What Girls Said 8

  • Sounds like a game. Your always there when she wants you and you oblige. It's simple, if she wanted more, she wouldn't have waited 3 years. I would stop contacting her and don't give in. Maybe she will pull her head out if you make her chase you.

  • she probably doesn't know what she wants... or is confused about her feelings for you!

  • been there done that. all you can do for yourself is stay friends and nothing more. all you are going to end up doing is putting yourself in more hurt than being happy. I say to you stay friends don't loose that if she means anything at all to you.

  • I think she is really confused and is not thinking about you at all. She is putting your heart in a blender because she is focused on whatever she wants at the moment.

  • Y'all should just stay friends

  • Yea sounds like it, ignore her for a while then see how she reacts.

  • You should bow out and leave her aloneShe can't be with you

    • I have several times and each time she comes crying saying that she never wants to lose me. We work together along with her ex. It was aftter this last time she said she didn't want to lose me that I started talking to her at work. She got visible upset a few weeks later after not talking is when she acused me of trying to cause problems because her ex could possible see us talking. And in the same argument she called me another a**hole guy who quit talking to her. Damned if I do damned if I don

  • She doesn't feel the same way it seems to me

What Guys Said 1