Men plz: Why does a guy say "I'm single and I don't have kids"?

It's a guy I know from work but we don't exactly see each other on a regular basis. He's funny and very friendly (to most people not just far as I know) and sometimes we work together on projects and stuff so we've been meeting on and off for the past few years or so.

BTW, I'll be seeing him a lot the next couple of months (work-related, again).

This guy's in his late thirties and he's said that he's not married and doesn't have kids on several occasions (I've checked and it's true), plus he once said he'd "love" to have a kid.

Also, I saw him checking me out once...I think I caught him doing it and he looked away asap.

BTW, I'm a single woman and have no kids...and he knows it.

So, guys out there? Any comments? I'd love to hear what men in particular have to say about this.

We’re now working on a project together and we’re meeting regularly. So, the other day when he said he needed some more help, I said I could see him 4 times a week to work on stuff instead of 3, which is what we are doing now. At first he hesitated but then after a couple of seconds he said yes and that it’d be for the best. We had this conversation in a meeting room and we were alone.

We were at work, on the elevator, just the two of us, and he seemed to be looking at my shoes out of the corner of his eyes. I was wearing flats and skinny jeans so he couldn’t have been checking out my legs, right? Anyway, it was only a couple of seconds and we were standing on opposite ends of the elevator, but I don’t know, I’ve the feeling that something was going on.

His behavior is kind of confusing to me and it’s as if something was going on and I’m the only one who’s not aware of it. On the one hand, I’ve noticed that whenever I show up to meet him, he walks me to a meeting room, which is not surprising since we need a quiet area to work, but I swear I have this feeling, you know, when all eyes are on you. Do you know what I mean?

And then there’s the fact that I don’t look my very best right now. See, I’m currently losing weight (thank goodness lost 2 pounds already…but want to lose another 8). I’m 130lb and wanna go back to my 120lb –that’s when I feel and look my best. I have brown eyes and hair (long and wavy) and I’m kinda short –5’3 and a half. Also I’m curvy (not fat) sort of like Scarlett Johansson or Sofia Vergara…that kind of body type if you know what I mean (no belly, but round hips and breasts).
I see myself as average but the thing is that tons of model/actress skinny women work in this place so I’ve never felt particularly attractive at the office.

Any comments? What do you think is going on? Is he shy? He seems to be pretty confident and has a very congenial personality (works in sales) but I’m kind of confused.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he is advertising the fact. I'm recently divorced and have kids and am just starting to think about dating again. The whole issue of ex-husbands/wives and children is such an issue to consider once you hit our age, in a way it never was when we were in our twenties. Just sounds like he is looking for someone to settle down with and sees his lack of baggage as an asset - and I would say it is. I definitely feel like "damaged goods".

    Despite being a divorced dad myself, I would rather date a woman without kids. Children just complicate a situation I'm already superbly uncomfortable in - dating. It's an odd and really unfair bias as if/when I am lucky enough to find someone I wouldn't expect her to take responsibility for my children -that's my job.


What Guys Said 9

  • He might be thinking a lot about it, trying to tell you that he is looking for those things without really saying it.

  • He seems like a serious man that wants to settle down, you would think that guys would go for the most attractive girl but no, that's not always the case. Specially not when they want to settle down, so in this case as odd as it may sound being "less attractive" than this other models that work at your office actually make you more attractive because he is able to look at you as a person an not just your looks. Have you shown any signs to him, you know something that would tell him you are interested in giving him a chance. Maybe he thinks he is too old for you or he's just trying to make it professional by not dating co-workers. You gotta show him some signs of hope, show him the light.

  • Wants you to be his baby's momma...say to speak. You know what I mean. He considers you a possible candidate for the task, at least.

  • Most men do want kids. But that means growing up and loss of freedom. I had my first in my mid thirties. To be honest I was not ready until then. If a man checks you out and will discuss personal things he must think you are a cool person. So that leads me to some advice. You would not be asking if you were not attracted to him. So be bold! Be aggressive! Get him alone one on one and be s tigress... That's how my wife got me... She pounced on me! =) good luck;

  • if you are interested then by all means go for it, looks like he's looking for a long term relationship and possible into starting a family so if you interested go for it

  • Sounds like he wants you.

  • Show initiative...Show some interest and if he is interested he will follow through. If he is shy with this type of thing he will need more than a budge. :)

  • I think he has stated his status to make it known he's available and (probably) looking for someone to get serious with.

    • I second this. He's fishing and waiting for a woman to bite. So if you're interested show it.

What Girls Said 1

  • He has a little crush on you