I need advice. Please help me.

Okay I don't want any bs answers. I'm just tired of going to my friends for advice.

There is this guy that I've liked for a while now. A couple of months ago we began to talk more than usual and he would call me on the phone late at night after work and we would just talk about our lives and what not. Then one day he called me and then he ended up coming over. We just stayed outside and talked for hours. Then shortly after that we would talk, but not on the phone anymore. During our Christmas break I asked him to hang out. We kept changing the date (he was going to be out of town, then I went out of town and stuff) So two weeks ago we hung out for a couple of hours before he went to work. (I had a good time but I'm not sure if he did) Then last week my friends were drinking and I didn't want to ride home with them. So I ended up texting him and asking if he could take me home and he said yes. When he came we were waiting for one of my friends sober up a bit (which took about an hour) and we finally took her home. He then dropped me off at my house. I don't know what to do. Like I don't know if he wants to be just friends or something more? I'm scared of asking because I'm scared of losing him. We've been good friends since 8th grade (so now 4 years) and I don't want to lose him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He loses his joy in it, because every time he didn't go for that kiss, or what he needed to say, he bums himself out.

    He's insecure, so tell him you're scared of losing him.


    he's showing a lot of effort, he doesn't want to be just friends.


What Guys Said 8

  • It should go along these lines.

    "We are friends and have been good friends for a long time, and I don't want ruin that or lose the friendship, but I've started to develop feelings for you"...then explain how you feel..."I wondered if you had feeliggns for me beyond just friendship and if so I hope we could see what we could do about taking our relationship to a different level. But I don't want to lose you as a friend so if you don't feel the same way I do then that is OK too"

    Don't expect an answer right away and you have to prepare yourself for the rejection if he says that he only sees you as a friend. But you definitely should communicate how you feel. The two of you clearly have a close relationship and it should be a conversation that goes smoothly. I'd bet that he feels the same way but doesn't want to run the risk of ruining the friendship either

    Good luck

  • Continue being friends, don't change anything just yet, but you can bet that he thinks of you as more than a friend only, he obviously has feelings deeper than that, but what you can do is ask him out one night, like dinner in a restaurant, just the two of you, and really make an effort, make go wow, and this will end up in him having to confess to you that he wants to get more from the friendship, if he doesn't ask, then maybe he's just worried like you are, but he almost certainly likes you a lot,x

  • He likes you more than just a friend. To hang out and talk for hours is a very good sign. The fact that he is willing to wait until your friend is good to go... is another good sign. I tend to agree with Stubbsy on this one. Sometimes the feeling of being cornered and asked "are you gonna kiss me or not" can be a bit of a shock. (Although that is great for the old butterfly feeling of years ago)

    The dinner together is a good environment for expressions to come out. I hope it works out like you want it to.

    Good luck

  • dear anonymous ..

    do you want a serious relation with this guy ?

    if yes thn... you will need to spend more time to know him ... this guys is a complex person..he keeps things to himself..

    so talk to him...hear him out as much as you can...

    but you can ask him out ... dnt worry about loosing him... you can always be friends...even if he says no..trust me...he is a guy...

  • Take a risk and hold his hand ;)

  • Im gonna say- if you have been friends for 4yrs and nothing has happened, its probably just a friendship. That may not be the answer you want to hear, but most guys will make a move way before the 4yr mark. Sounds like he is comfortable with you and considers you a good friend, that's where the hanging out and talking a lot is coming from. I've been in the position where a girl likes me and I just consider her a friend, and I've also been the guy that likes the friend. Either way, if your friendship is strong enough, you should be able to talk to him about it- in a way that's not going to ruin your friendship. What I would do, is bring it up casually and just say that you have had some thoughts lately that have confused you, you've always considered him a friend and lately your not sure if your close relationship is just that, a friendship, or if maybe there's more feeling there. If he says yes, I have feelings for you, than you can say "cool me too".. If he says no, than you can say "cool, just wanted to make sure, friends is totally cool with me"..

  • Kiss him and have some horchata link if he does not like either then you at least now know.

    • Wow now I really don't want to drink Horchata.

    • Show All
    • I don't know but I've been wanting to try lobster. :P

    • Lobster truly kicks ass. Get that hot butter and drizzle it all over and ...oops I was getting aroused there for a second

What Girls Said 1

  • You should ask him if he feels anything more for you. Its better to ask and know...than miss this opportunity. The worse that could happen is that it will be a little awkward - but it won't stay that way forever - after some time you can go back to normal and it will be fine. From what I've read, I think he does have feelings for you. If he does you are a very luck woman- you're best friend will become you're lover :-) just ask him