He thinks I'm a slut, is there anyway I can change his mind?! HELP

[Anonymous]

& his friends told him to never talk to me again because I'm a flirt and I'm just gonna hurt him even though he really likes me.

It's very rarely I feel something like this after barely knowing a guy, and I am flirty but it's only because I'm used to ALWAYS being single and not being around a guy who likes me. I'm obviously not going to flirt with other guys when I'm with him.

I get that he's trying to protect himself, but I need him to see that I'm actually a good person and I want to have a chance with him. How do I change his mind? :(

[madhatters4]

does he think you are a slut or flirty? There is a big difference that would def impact how you can go about changing his impression of you. Honestly though if a guy is only going to make his decision about you based on what he's heard from his guy friends then he is too easily influenced.

But generally I think you need to make it clear that when you are around him you are not the flirty or slutty girl that he has been told you are. Also make it clear that you are interested in him and that you don't have eyes for other people.

It may take time but you can change your impression by not being overly flirtatious or not hooking up with a lot of dudes.

[Asker]

It just sucks because there was a bad "relationship" that I ended around that time, so his friend knew that I had hooked up with the other guy which definitely made me seem like a slut, even though it was only that one guy I had been hooking up with for some time.

I know it can hurt to know the person you like is flirting with a lot of people, so I'm really going to try and show that he's actually different and thank you :)

[Confucius16]

Just be a good person. Don't try hurting him, or else you might be "proving their point" to them. At that point, it will be too late to try to change anything.

Just be a good person, and don't worry about what other people have to say. If you do, that will really ruin things sometimes. Don't let this chance go away. Just be yourself and don't do anything rash.

[Asker]

Thanks (: I'm going to give it some time for sure. We have mutual friends so I'm hoping I'll run into him enough times that he can see how I actually am

[Confucius16]

Be strong! Then people will see you for who you are.

[Newgirl1979]

Can you not speak to him one on one and just explain that you sometimes flirt to put others at ease and to make others smile but that doesn't mean you are attracted to everyone who comes your way. Suggest you meet up as friends for food or something and be different with him to how you are with others - don't go mad on the flirting but be yourself and be honest then you can turn round to him the next time you see him and say you act more like yourself when you genuinely like someone. Good luck x

[Asker]

Thanks! :) I'm hoping I can run into him soon so I can show him that he's different

[Newgirl1979]

How did you get on? Any update?

[Asker]

I tried really hard to show him I wasn't who he thought I was, but I think it was too late and he had already moved on. He has a girlfriend now, unfortunately. I've had time to get over it and I'm taking this all as a lesson for next time. Thank you xoxo

[Anonymous]

Are you?

[Asker]

No, I'm not a slut. I am flirty but I never saw it as a character flaw before. Light, mutual flirtation is harmless (but like I said, I've never been in a situation where I've needed to be monogamous)