My husband is texting his Ex girlfriend

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of at a loss of what to do. I don't tell him, but occasionally I browse through his texts. I know I shouldn't, because I really want to respect his privacy, but there have been a couple situations where he didn't tell me until after fact that he was meeting her to pick up things she's borrowed from him. I guess at least he didn't hide it.

My husband is friendly and funny, albeit a bit flirty. I've told him this before, but he doesn't seem to realize that he is like this. He's a bit too friendly towards even friends that are girls, often texting them. I've gotten used to this, because once I meet them, I become great friends with them too.

He believes it is okay that he can be friends with his exes and that I have nothing to worry about because there's no way they'll get back together. That makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and I've told him that before. I think out of respect to me, he rarely sees them or texts them; this one in particular lives out of state.

The thing is, she broke up with him because he cheated on her with another girl while she was studying abroad a few years ago. I forgave him of that, because I've seen how remorseful he is about it.

It seems he always initiates the conversations by asking what she's been up to. Anyways, this conversation that I read went like this with her. He told her that he is graduating and asked if she would come. She jokingly replied that if he buys her a ticket, she would. He asked her to give him a reward, to which she said I'll reward you with my presence. Then he said (in a different language): "I want a large jewel that represents me. Can you give me such a jewel?"

Reading that line kind of sent me into a spiral of confusion, jealousy and paranoia. That's why I humbly ask your advice. Please tell me if I am overreacting to this. How should I approach this?

Thank you

[PhilaPenn]

The relationship is doomed. Cut your losses and bounce. First of all he's married and unless he shares a child with her or they have really become completely platonic friends he shouldn't be texting her. You have really broken the cardinal rule for in my book about invading privacy. I absolutely hate that sh*t. I'd dump any woman who I found going through my phone or emails, or Facbook messages. NOT because I have anything to hide because I have never and would never cheat. But how dare you? I don't stand for that sh*t ever. Its such a violation of my space and privacy and shows that you do not trust me. I really am annoyed by insuecure women who do that. They bother the heck out of me.

All that being said, this guy is a creep. I can't really feel sympathy for you though, you knew that the man was a cheater and you still married him because there was something so amazing about you that of course he'd never do the same to you...he will, he probably has already. It's kind of your fault though.

[KerryLynn]

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[tdsianac]

You're right... You have jealousy and paranoia. He did ask you to marry him, didn't he? I've got ex-girlfriends who I am still friendly with. That doesn't mean much. They're people I know and we joke around. I'm not having a relationship with any of them. It sounds like you're a tad untrusting and insecure. Why were you in your husband's phone to begin with? Does he go through your phone? That's a no-no... It's his space. Healthy relationships allow for friendships outside of the marriage. It sounds like your husband's ex is in the friend zone. Don't create unnecessary friction in your marriage.

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[AnonGuy]

Get a lawyer and divorce. Better sooner than later.

[josesmaf]

I think he's playing with fire. Something is very wrong here.