Is it okay to ask a guy to hang out?

[ashleybeans]

A lot of old fashioned people believe that it's better if the girl waits for the guy to ask her out, and that's true because then you know the guy really likes you but what if the person you're interested in or want to see if you'd be interested in doesn't ask you out but talks to you?

Do you guys think it's okay to ask a guy to hang out if you're a girl? Does it look bad?

Has a girl asked you out, if so how did that make you feel?

[enigmatta]

I've asked guys out plenty of times. Like... plenty. And they've all said yes. Because right then, I have nothing to lose and it's also in the way I ask them out, that they feel comfortable about it. Like, very casual and friendly. Kind of "what are you doing tomorrow? There's this movie I wanna see". Nothing cheesy like "i want to take you out on a date and have dinner together", because you're giving yourself away in that one line.

I've asked guys out when I know they are not interested in nothing more than a friendship with me, and they've also said yes because they and I know that this is only for fun and nothing romantic.

There have been sometimes I ask a guy out but we don't set a time, or place.. just say "tomorrow", "i'll call you" and I don't hear from them. But I don't panic, and prefer smoothing it out by compeltely forgetting it and when the issue comes up, "what did you do yesterday? (when we were supposed to meet)", I tell them something like "i ended up meeting a friend, I went to some place.. " and remove all awkwardness. If they see that you're not affected by it, they will be calmer.

The thing is to not get affected by rejection. In the end, how many times have you rejected a guy? And how would you want a guy to react to your rejection? They would take it cool, don't panic, don't behave like a bitch, and just be friendly if you wanted to be in good terms anyway).

[Anonymous]

i might be an exception, but I recently asked a guy out, I thought things were going so well between us, I felt like he was def into me, the signs were all there, he even hinted that we hang out I don't know if he was making small talk or just playing around, but I took it as he was hinting a date, so I asked him out the next day and my worse nightmare happened. he ignored it and ignored me after that for days and basically rejected me. now he's trying to say hi and be formal again I guess to show were just friends, but yea I was humiliated and the feeling of rejection just bites. I don't think I will ever ask a guy out ever again. unless he verbally tells me he likes me.

the good news is that at least I got my answer and can move on now, won't ever have to wonder.

i also learned a lot and made it a learning lesson.

but its definitely awkward between us now. things can't be the same.

[ashleybeans]

Aww, well trust me I've had a lot of those times to :( I wish the best for you! and I hope you meet a better guy

[kangaru]

it is okay if you have the courage to do so, but you have to be able to handle the rejection well. I would say go for it. at least you don't have to keep guessing whether he like you or not

[SteelyMcBeam]

Yes.

If girls would have asked me out *sincerely* in the past I wouldn't be in the mess that I'm in now -27 years old and with only experience dating a girl for a month until ultimately friend-zoned.

But NEVER ask a guy out UNLESS you are with him alone. Otherwise people will laugh and giggle and he will think you are just playing a cruel joke on him (and I'd imagine you probably are if there are other people around). This has happened to me probably 3 times in my life growing up -each of those times was in middle school. All I can remember is the laughter and the jokes. The one time I did accept (the 3rd girl to ask), I went to meet her at a dance and she pretty much told me it she what was up. I still remember how pissed I was after she explained to me it was a joke and her friend still had the nerve to approach me to try to continue the joke.

[ashleybeans]

aww that's sad and horribly mean :( but I'm sure some of those girls meant it but then changed their minds? or they were too immature (obviously) at that time lol

But yeah I wish the best of luck to you and I know how hard dating can be! or trying to find somebody to date

[Theguyoverthere]

It's encouraged. Times have changed. Nothing wrong with it at all and you're better off nowadays honestly. Guys approach girls all the time so if a guy knows that a girl is approached a lot, the relationship oriented guys avoid her because they don't want to deal with a girl who gets hit on everywhere she goes. We can't stand by a girl's side 24/7 all day. We got jobs, school, and other things to attend to. So showing that you're actually attracted to the guy will allow the gut to take you more seriously.

Also, "old fashioned" people are old-fashioned by convenience. The "guy bringing flowers to do the door," and all that stuff is considered old-fashioned. But tell the same type of girl interested in that stuff if she wants to quit school and be a house-wife and stay at home and take care of the kids and cook dinner and she'll probably get offended.

[ashleybeans]

Very true :) lol well I guess the older people who told me to wait for the guy to do that are just looking out for my own interests because they say that the guy should chase me but I can't wait forever lol some guys don't do it right away so I just take matters into my own hands because they might be interested in me I just have to do a little push dunno? lol

[Theguyoverthere]

Some people worry that it may make you look "easy" in a really dirty way and they don't want you getting taken advantage of but if you know what you're doing, go for it. If you handle rejection well, it will be easy for you and better off since you won't be stuck wondering if he likes you or not, you'll get an answer finally.

[dannabisax]

Of course it's OK. Guys love to be asked out. It's so nice and refreshing because it defies the silly social conventions. We generally think girls are either too timid or too haughty to ask a guy out. Asking a guy out shows confidence and security and demonstrates that you are interesting and unique and personable.

Even if you asked out an acquaintance or a stranger, it should go well unless that person is not interested. And interest can be judged well in the first minute of meeting someone, so their response is genuine.

Have no worries. Be fearless and go for it.

It's fun and if you end up not liking them or they seem to not like you but you've already made it to the hang out, then you can spin it and make it about friendship and not lose any face and not get rejected or anything.

[asdaven]

I really wish more girls did this. I can't read peoples minds. The flaw with the old fashioned way of thinking is that men are usually more clear on interest, well most of the time, women are more discrete. So, there's less risk for a girl to ask a guy than a guy to ask a girl. I can't count the many times I've accidently rejected a girl I liked by not asking her out when it turns out she felt the same about me.

[dannabisax]

/\ agreed! Since women are less clear with their intention, men get lead on all the time and women end up with hot messes on their hands, often of their own doing. Where as if a woman asks a man out and he is enthusiastic, everyone is clear in what they want.

[ashleybeans]

thanks I actually wish lol more guys would be receptive to me asking them out lol

[asdaven]

Maybe asking out the wrong guys. I'm sometimes shy and have a hard timeaasking a girl out. I can be outgoing and flirt with girls all day and not be shy at all . But when it comes out to ask out a girl, I easily shy away. So if a girl asked me out, I'd be like you took the words right out of my mouth and it would be a big Yes!

[vittles]

thats totally ok...in fact id say most guys would encourage it...it doesn't look bad at all, for all you know the guy doesn't even know that you like him but the best way to let him know is to ask him to hang out...im sure guys get asked this a lot less than girls so its defenitely welcome

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: it's 2013, while guys still usually do the asking, it's still common for girls to do so. I have actually had a girl ask me out (she did it in front of a bunch of people and really put me on the spot so don't do that) and I had a teacher in high school whose future wife proposed to him. There are lots of guys out there who are extremely nervous and would prefer to be asked so in summary it's completely OK for a girl to ask a guy out.

[ntrdr]

Girls ask me out all the time.

How does it make me feel . . . OK I guess, I really don't even think about it, because it was either going to be her or I would have.

But then again most guys are wusses and won't make the first move anyways.

[Anonymous]

It's 2013, not 1913. Of course it's OK. If a girl likes me, it's flattering.

[ashleybeans]

I was just saying that because many guys have told me it's better for me to wait.

[tzdc21]

Yes. It's perfectly okay to do that. And considering that most girls never do this, you might actually make his day and brighten him up.

[eym03]

I would say go for it. It shouldn't make a guy feel different about a girl if they do that. If it is a shy guy then he might want to ask you out but be too shy to do so.

[Anonymous]

it is more than okay and I wish it was more socially acceptable

[DecadenceOfOrpheus]

it's perfectly normal and ok

[Anonymous]

there's nothing bad about it. Go for it

[moviedude714]

more than okay

[Anonymous]

I say go for it