Would you love an average/nice looking girl who was obsessed with the idea that she was ugly, that you didn't really like her, and the fear that she was going to die alone?
Here's WHY confidence is important to girls:
Girls like to feel like they can influence your emotions in a good way. In other words, we feel good about ourselves if we can make other people feel happy. In reverse, we like people more if we know that we make them happy.
If a girl comes up to you (or even just comments on here) and tries to alleviate your mood, but you refuse to be cheered up, we get discouraged. We feel like failures and that our efforts are being sucked away into an emotional black hole.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Spread happiness. Everyone wants happiness. Therefore, if you sound happy, girls will want to know why and where you get your happiness, because they want to be happy too. THAT is how you attract girls. Muscles help, but not nearly as much as most guys think. Think about emotions logically if that's possible. Try to understand things from our perspective, plan your behavior accordingly, and you'll have a positive feedback with good results.
Hope that helps :)
PS: for the record - not pathetic! At ALL. You just need to snap out of your disillusion and return to thinking rather than feeling, and you'll be set!
Sorry, but you're going to get the confidence "BS", because that really is what it comes down to. And due to your very depressing post, I'm going to be a little harsh and give you some tough love.
You are pathetic. Why? Because you say that's the way it is.
I mean, if you're wanting to get attention from girls, advertise yourself right! It's just like an advertisement on T.V. Are you going to want to pick up an air freshener that says "I smell terrible, I look terrible, nobody will like me!"? NO.
You are going to go for the air freshener that says "I smell GREAT. I look FANTASTIC. Your friends will be jealous!" You know?
I don't know if that metaphor was very good. But. Take it. xP
You have an accent? BRILLIANT. Girls LOVE accents. Use it to your advantage! I wish to God that I had an accent.
There is a reason you always, ALWAYS see ugly guys with beautiful girls. It is because these ugly guys carry themselves with confidence. Sometimes too much confidence, and I find them repulsive. But that's not the point!
I would look into counselling, because I think it could definitely help you. You clearly have some self esteem issues and it is not shameful to see a therapist. I think it could work wonders for you.
I think it is so nice of these people to be so supportive of you- I really do. The fact that you will insist on being miserable and that you will argue with them when they try to give you advice or words of encouragement that YOU ASKED FOR is no reflection on them at all. I remember when I first encountered you, I was nice, too. But you fought me at every turn, and every goddamn time you post this sh*t and people try to be nice to you, I feel sorry for them and you make me even more sick. And yes- I do believe you will die alone, because I believe it's what you really want, deep down. I think you are too eaten up with your weird urge to be a victim. I don't even know you and I'm tired to death of you- I can't imagine how the people who actually know your Eeyore-ass feel.
Dude, stop doing this. Get some therapy- you really, really need it. This sh*t isn't healthy- unless, of course, you are nothing but a troll. Which is also possible. But really- get help. Check with your health department, see if they can put you onto some kind of mental health facility where you can get some treatment. If you don't have any money, there are a lot of places that will do a sliding scale for payment.
It doesn't matter how you look, if there's chemistry or a spark between you and a girl then sth could happen but you should put in mind that girls don't like guys who think bad about themselves and this could affect not only your relationships but your life in general. You shouldn't see yourself as a pathetic loser and don't assume you're not good enough for a good looking girl just because of these little things you stated and if you didn't focus so much on your cons, girls won't either. Some girls could even see that's cute you haven't kissed or hugged a girl before and girls love accents, trust me. You don't sound as bad as you think just get it out of your head that you are unworthy
"just a simple yes , you are pathetic or no , an old desperate woman will settle for you until she finds someone better" so in either case you're negative and you expect everyone here to tell you how f***ed up you are?! There's always hope and chance for everything but it's the state of mind that has to adjust to this concept first. If you believe that the glass is always half empty and can never see it half full at least try to see it as a glass of water - be realistic. In reality you gotta work on this negative views you have for yourself and ignore them and work on "confiBS" cause it is important. Sooner or later you won't be ignoring it anymore and with time will be actually happy with who you are and how you look like.
Simple "Yes" you're pathetic goes to your current state atm which can always be changed.
Do you know Nick Vujicic? He has no arms and legs, yet he is married with a beautiful wife and they just had their first child. Why? Because his mindset is amazing! YOU are a healthy young man who can do anything with the right mindset! There's nothing there to stop you except for yourself. Taking it so to heart what people say. If a woman tells you you are so ugly you should jump of a building. Why the heck would you listen to someone like that? First of, these kind of woman are shallow, superficial, immature, NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. So please, these kind of woman you should not want to get attention from.
Why did you post this question if you only want to hear "yes you are pathetic" or "no, an old desperate woman will settle for you until she finds someone better". This is obviously what you expect for yourself in the future. Unless you are willing to open up and find the deeper cause for your insecurity, you should not engage on this forum.
I hope you'll one day realize there is so much more to a person than a pretty face.
PS. That person that suggested plastic surgery: NO! What a terrible comment indeed. Has she even considered what would happen after a failed surgery? Also, plastic surgery is NOT the answer and the path to feeling happy and confident!
And no, just because you think you're ugly does not mean that you're going to end up being alone. Believe it or not, not all girls go for the looks, sure looks attracts girls but it's the guy's personality that keeps them coming.
No girl wants an airhead with just good looks for a boyfriend.
No, trust me there is someone for everyone. Just try not to be so hard on yourself because that's really unattractive. Women like confidence, so cheer up, smile and don't worry so much. And accents are sexy so instead of bashing it, embrace it. You will be surprised how many people will change their attitudes towards you, if you'd only change your attitude towards yourself
i f***ed a really ugly guy before I f***ed him because to me he was handsome he was handsome in my eyes because he was confident at least acted ..my point is when it comes down to it . it's all about character it might sound stupid and unrealistic and it might always seem like a myth but it's not so built up that confidence girls can smell your low self esteem bro
no you won't die alone I have male friends they came to me.i never had a boy friends so yes I know how that feels like at least you have a kind heart and that will help you .be like the other people say who will love you if you don't love your self who will love you
Don't you ever talk like that about yourself again! No one deserves to be treated like you treat yourself! I know it's a cliché, but seriously love the man you are! Smile, be confident. I'm sure the reason why you feel lonely is because you are so negative. Please, please, please treat yourself right!
No, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I personally do not care about looks at all, I'm guilty of finding people attractive and unattractive but that wouldn't stop me from dating or being with anyone. I actually perfer getting to know people before I know what they look like. It's the personality that has made me attracted to people, I'm sure you're a fine young man. :) Don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll find a mate one day!
Try telling yourself good things every morning. Smile. Think "DAMN I look AMAZING today!" even though you might not mean it, say it! Don't say it sarcastic. Try literally meaning it. Some day, you'll be able to see it.
Don't think so low of yourself. You will find someone who will want to be with you. And when you do go after them and get to know them. And if some of the "attractive" girls don't like you, they are probably the ones who only like the jocks, or the more popular, rich guys. So don't go after them. The girls that find you attractive will like you for who you are. Just be comfortable with yourself. Go out and make some new friends, some girls. It'll help build up your courage to be able to talk to different people.
Love your self first to make people like you. First,You're so pessimistic you have to remove the idea that you're ugly and girls told you're ugly and all of this bad things. Look to the bright side you're a good swimmer and go to gym and I'm sure there're another things cause god creates us equal. Someday you will find a girl who deserves you and it's not all about the look. And don't worry about your accent it will get better(I'm arabic and my niece lived in America her accent got better)
Honestly, the only thing wrong with you is your attitude. Get a hobby and quit worrying about finding a relationship. Trust me for my own experiences, it is when you are least focused on falling in love that you do. But no one will love you if you don't love yourself. And you're the only one that can fix that problem.
Confidence is not BS, you'd be surprised how far confidence goes. A woman likes to feel safe and being with a guy who can deal with anything. Work on yourself and stop expecting women to fall deeply in love at first sight, those are porky pies.
You just have to put yourself out there. You have to be willing to ask girls out, you have to be willing to get rejected because not all girls will say yes to you, in fact most will say no. Most of the time its nothing personal, maybe they have a boyfriend, maybe they are not looking for someone at the moment or any number of things.
Think of a salesmen. Most of the people he tries to sell his product to will say no, so he tries to sell to as many people as he can because if the talks to enough people, someone will buy from him. Asking girls out is the same way.
Start off by going up to a girl, it can be any girl. It can be someone from schoo, or a random girl at the mall or other public place. Ask for directions somewhere, then once you have her attention say, "I lied, I really just wanted to come and meet you. What's your name?"