Why do guys avoid eye contact with the girl they like?

Question

This guy (never talked) went from making confident eye contact with me up close and from a distance, to looking at me from a distance, to avoiding all eye contact from close range (pretending not to see me) but sometimes maintaining eye contact with me from a distance.

i'm almost 100 per cent sure he likes me so my question is, knowing that he likes me and knowing that he knows I like him (i've been giving away pretty obvious signs), why is he all of a sudden avoiding eye contact with me up close?

he's mr confident and when I first noticed him he was very comfortable with making eye contact with me. but now he acts all nervous and avoids looking at me up close, even though I know he sneaks looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking.

i really want to talk to him and I'm just trying to find the right time to - I WILL approach him if I get the chance.

but any thoughts on my dilemma?

could it be his feelings got stronger since when we first locked eyes?

could it be he's acting all aloof so that I will approach him?

or is he nervous?

WHYYYY wahh I missed those moment when we would lock eyes and like I said I'm so sure he likes me so why is he all of a sudden acting so tense and pretending to not see me?

backspace · Accepted Answer

Well I can only explain my situation in order to maybe give you some insight.

I'm in an exactly same situation. The only difference is that I knew this girl from before and we meat a couple of times before.

Anyway about a week ago I meat her again when I went out and I was really confident and everything was going really great. I thought we really hit it off and I saw she was really into me and I was also into her. There was no problem with my confidence and any kind of eye contact. Then I asked her out and she said yes but after some time let on that she had a boyfriend. I knew she had a boyfriend but figured it had ended. Now buy this point everything was still going great I could still keep eye contact and we were still flirting and when I got home I knew that I was really falling for this girl and I couldn't wait for the next time I saw her. So I texted her as a couple of days before but then the weirdness started. Like weird reply or no reply to a completely ordinary text and it made me feel really bad. So the next time I saw her all my confidence was gone and I couldn't even look at her not because I didn't want to but because I felt like a fool to think that she could have liked me and now I'm completely confused if I was such a fool to think that. I think I was confident and could look into her eyes because I thought she liked me to but now I guess I'm afraid to let on that I really like her and her seeing what fool I'm making out of myself so I can't look into her eyes.

So in your case maybe he's nervous that you don't like him and he's afraid of letting on that he likes you. My advice would be to show him in a very straight forward way so that he can gain the confidence back and then proceed.

Good luck.

Levin · Accepted Answer

Alright, I've experienced something like this recently. I've been the guy. and since I meditate, you're in luck, cause I can give you a detailed description of what is happening inside my head. :) Or maybe not, since it is quite simple. I can only speak for me, mind, might be something different for him. Let's pretend I'm him, and you're the girl I like, for the purposes of mild, likely failed, humour.

Ok, yes, I am very confident. Yes, I used to lock eyes with you. Yes, we used to share something with those exchanged glances. And it was totally in the moment. But then, cause you were distant from me for whatever reason, say I didn't have the opportunity to speak with you, all that I was left with, was the thought of you. Thought sustains the pleasurable moment you and I shared. In fact, it can make it even grander (perhaps something it is not, but that's another issue). Anyway, since now I know I like you, and since, the idea of you and I being an item is what I so desire, in order to sustain this pleasure, the stakes have been raised. Now when I see you, I have to impress. Now, I must *act* a certain way, whereas before, I was happy to simply be. This creates anxiety in itself. And anxiety isn't exactly conducive to speaking to people flowingly and comfortably.

Lao Tzu - "If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Oh, what a pickle. What am I to do? You could make this easier on me darling, if you didn't hang around with your bloody friends all the time. How am I supposed to approach you and have a lovely, intimate chat with you, where I might ask for your number, hmm? I'm not a coward. I'm just shy!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This sounds exactly like me. I've been doing this to a girl recently and I wish I could stop. I'm normally super confident with eye contact and stuff. We use to make eye contact and everything a lot. Well she also gave me extremely obvious signs but some mutual friends of ours didn't really give her a good reputation. So at the time I couldn't tell if she was honestly being flirty or if she was being manipulative or if she was simply mocking me. When signs are so over the top they almost become unbelievable and kinda sketchy. So she confused the crap outta me. So every time I see her my brain goes crazy and I sit there and stare blankly unless I stop myself by looking away.  And it keeps getting worse. Well my ego won't let me simply look away I always look away like I'm uninterested and really don't care which is the complete opposite of how I feel. It's all extremely frustrating because I haven't been this shy since middle school  and now I'm in college acting like a little kid. But if dudes like me he's definitely got feelings for you and he's just not sure what to do about them

lilacs · Accepted Answer

I searched up this problem since I have the same exact problem lol... Honestly, sometimes we sent each other a wave of slight shock when locking eyes. Man I’m really clueless and lost now also.

TheStaff_Sergeant · Answer

His avoidance of eye contact with you could be the result of disinterest or extreme interest in you. That being said, it could be an effort to mask his feelings for you. One's feelings for someone usually manifest in an undeniable way through their eyes when they look at that person.

In my opinion, he doesn't want you to know that he's so into you already, especially since he has not asked you out yet.

Chris011 · Answer

Haha I felt like this with this girl I liked. I messed up by giving her mixed signals and now she doesn't seem interested anymore(For a little while she seemed sad.?). I still like her and I feel she still likes me back as well but I am so confused! Let me know what you think.. The way Levin described it was exactly how I felt!

Anonymous · Answer

Because in reality we can't let our feelings out that easily. We can't let our feelings go wild. Because we have the desire to look at their eyes, smile and to listen to thier talks. Our desires are mixed with sex. We express our feelings sexually. And in reality, every man tries to control these feelings and desires. We can't let these feelings and desires to come out.

MusicMayhem · Answer

He knows that you know he likes you and us embarrassed to think you see him as a pussy for not approaching. And now it makes it harder for him to approach you so he avoids you.

shadowscapes · Answer

Because many guys feel guilty when they look at a woman when they shouldn't.  As long as a guy isn't a perv or a creep, there's nothing wrong with deliberately and without hesistation give her eye contact.

Deanbeams87 · Answer

The eyes reveal our vulnerabilities. When we avoid the gaze of others we also hide our insecurities.

kalimavictor12 · Answer

Because we are afraid/ too fearful of getting rejected. That's my issue with that. If it were me, yeah.. it was because I feel for you. You know?

kimi01 · Answer

In public, yes I avoid eye contact, but in private, I love it

raptor · Answer

I can hold eye contact really easily, but sometimes I feel I may be intimidating the person by doing so which causes me to break it briefly.

sexyasianboi26 · Answer

He probably thought your so hot that it burns his eyes when he looks at you ;)

foxsquirrel · Answer

When I avoid eye contact it's because I am feeling so embarrassed and shy. It's always with good looking women the rest a stare them daggers.

Anonymous · Answer

I purposely make eye contact with girls I like, mainly because some of them are shy and start to look around other directions when I do it. However, I don't feel a connection coming from her and she doesn't seem interested enough I start to back off.

red324 · Answer

I don't. In fact, I think sometimes I spend too much time looking into the girls eyes. It's hard not too if she's cute! lol

jamus · Answer

Don’t want to seem creepy. If i catch her looking at me I’ll stare back though 😉

MM442 · Answer

Because girls & women just walk right past ignoring, with another guy when I'm alone. Give me an evil eyes,

Steve4783 · Answer

Because they want to avoid creeping you out and thats why we don't approach either.

warrior0345 · Answer

Cause it’s just gonna go to waste why try to make eye contact with a girl who most likely doesn’t fee the same way you do

Anonymous · Answer

We tend to get nervous.

Rangers · Answer

He's just nervous around you

Anonymous · Answer

They are shy

Why do guys avoid eye contact with the girl they like?

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