How do I get my coworker to stop hugging me?

Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. She is a fantastic person and we get along great (no homo). She just has a very...let's call it, motherly personality. She's sickingly nice and very touchy feely.

She loves hugs. Like more than I think the average person does. And I...hate them. I hate being touched in general, so you can imagine how I feel about being hugged.

She gave me a hug the first day I met her so I thought that maybe that's just how she says hello. Nope. She gives everyone hugs when she leaves work at night. I come in to close every night so she hugs me every day.

I didn't think I'd have to introduce myself and say, "Hi, I'm Alex. I hate hugs." So I didn't. But apparently I needed to. I try to make myself busy when it's time for her to leave, but she always hugs me.

So...what do I do? It's been going on for a few weeks now so it'd be super awkward to tell her to stop.

I don't like being touched by anyone other than my boyfriend and it took me months and months before I let him touch me at all. My family doesn't touch each hugs, no high fives, no nothing. So you can imagine my shock when after knowing someone professionally for two hours, she gave me this huge hug. I was dumbfounded.

Any advice on how to get her to stop?

A side note, she also hugs my manager who is equally disturbed by it. So it's not just me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the only way to deal with this is be upfront with her and let her know it is NOT anything personal and you hope that she understands you are just the type of person that doesn't like to be touched. If she has a problem with that she obviously doesn't have respect for your personal space and that's not your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting your space that you're entitled too. If you don't want to confront her I would explain all of this to your manager/boss whatever... as you explained to us, and see if s/he will talk with her.

    She may take this personally but she may also be more understanding than we think.


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What Guys Said 1

  • The next time she comes to hug you tell her with a face that has a mixture of bitterness and begging and with a similar tone that you do not like hugs. You can be more specific and tell her I do not like YOUR hugs.

    I wonder which will you choose?


What Girls Said 4

  • In order for her to stop you need to let her know that you don't like being touched.

    I am a hugger but even I don't do it as much as she does! If someone is bothered by it or ever asks me to stop I don't or will not touch them. It's absolutely fine to have boundaries and other people should always respect your personal space.

    Let her know gently that while you don't mind her friendliness you are a person who feels uncomfortable being touched by others and hopefully that is the very end of it for you. ^__^

  • my family isn't touchy feely either, and a friend I had wanted to be all over me, like hugging me or sitting next to me with our sides touching and stuff like that. I hated it too! so what I did was just be honest. I told her that my family isn't like that so that you feel uncomfortable, she apppreciated my honesty so she stopped doing it.

  • Just tell her that you don't feel comfortable being touched frequently,and politely request that she stop.That's it.Its simple.Not difficult at all.

  • just every time say "ohh my (stomach, back, etc.) hurts" soon she will associate hugging you with making you feel pain and hopefully will stop.