I think my wife is overwhelmed with our baby and I'm not sure what to do or even whom to ask?

I work, I make good money but I also work long hours so I'm never really there. It wasn't planned and she still has to finish one year of college.

Our plan was that she stays home with him for the summer and then goes back part time for 2 more years.

I know it's been only 2 weeks but she seems really overwhelmed with the whole thing. When I get home she looks like a mess, sometimes like she has been crying. Def very exhausted though. I'm honestly not sure if it's normal or not, but I don't think so. When I ask she says that I'm not there and I wouldn't understand.

I don't want to overreact, but I don't know who to ask for help. She doesn't have parents and doesn't get along well with my mom.

When I get home, he's completley quiet by the way and on the weekends it's too bad either. She says he cries during the night, but I usually just sleep through it


Most Helpful Guy

  • Pregnancies usually are unplanned.

    If you don't mind my asking, why doesn't she get along with your mom?

    Having a baby is no small undertaking. Humans have the longest childhood of any species on the planet and are born without any ability to care for themselves. Your wife is quite naturally overwhelmed by your current situation. Since that is the case, you need to work less hours if you can. I can deduce from this that she probably does most, if not all of the housework, so offer to help with that. Ask her for a list of things she needs help with and do them.

    Right now, she feels (and understandably so) that the whole world has been dropped on her, that it's her against everyone else. You need to do everything you can to make her life as easy as possible. If you can't work less hours, suck it up and wake up earlier AND go to bed later so that you can do the dishes, fold the laundry, etc. to help her out. You need to start making sacrifices here.

    If you guys are church-goers, ask members of your church for assistance. Maybe even talk to a coworker. And I know I sort of touched on this already, but try to figure out what the beef is between her and your mom. Mom will be the most helpful person in the world here.

    Take him off her hands for a little while, too. One morning when you don't have work, sit with him out on the back porch. Talk to him, sing to him, rock him, etc.

    Bottom line: This is where "me, myself, and I" really needs to decrease, if not disappear altogether.