Why would a 33 year old guy be interested in a 16 year old girl?

[Licca]

I'm a 16 year old girl and I live in Singapore. This happened to me just yesterday : I was in a store and a staff member approached me by pointing out that my backpack was open. It was indeed wide open so I thanked him, and then he started talking to me! He asked where do I study, so I told him the name of the foreign school I attend, which surprised him because he thought I was mix (half-white, half-asian; I get this a lot even though I'm Caucasian). Anyway, he also asked my age, and when I told him he was off put for a second or so because he thought I was a bit older, at least seventeen. But it didn't keep him from talking to me some more. He helped me find an energy drink, and went with me all the way to the cashier where he sort of offered to buy it for me (I refused).

AND THEN he walked out of the store with me and walked me all the way to the community centre nearby where I go to study (I have exams in a week and the cc has a study room, very practical). Once we got there we got there I asked for his age (should have done that sooner, stupid me) and I was shocked to find he was 33! I thought he was in his mid-twenties or something! Then I hinted I should really study now, and because I said earlier I had a hard time focusing he asked if I was Christian and suggested I pray to Jesus for concentration or something weird along these lines.

All this time (in total we talked for at least half an hour) he had been very friendly, so when he asked for my number I..yeah I gave it to him. I'm aware this is a big no-no! But I also tend to be naive and give my trust easily, and he really seemed like a nice guy, he didn't make comments that made me uncomfortable, in short: he doesn't seem like a sex predator. afterward he told me which bus he takes home, which, by some weird coincidence, is the same as mine. He asked at what time do I end studying (I didn't tell him it closes at 9, I don't want him to know about my routine and stuff) and suggested I text him when I'm done so we can take the bus together. I said I'd see, and we told each other goodbye. I took the bus home without him 'cause I'm not so crazy that I'd let him know where I live exactly, but we texted a bit.

Frankly I had a hard time focusing after that, and now I'm quite lost: what the hell does this guy want from me? He seems stable, sane, normal, why would he want to befriend a girl half his age?

I'm sorry this question is so personal, I'd just like to know from a guy's point of view if it's possible that an older man talking to a much younger girl has no bad intentions, or if I should run for the hills now. And girls who have lived this situation (especially while being a minor like me), your opinion would also be appreciated :)

Updates

+1 y

Ok sooo.. from the few comments I've received, it seems like this could be dangerous. Thanks for warning me. As it is now, we've only just met and he hasn't done anything really alarming (besides being interested in being my 'friend' even after finding out I'm half his age... OK I admit it's quite alarming). If he does try anything 'funny', or is too persistent in wanting to talk with/see me, how should I show him clearly I'm not stupid and he should back off?

Updates

+1 y

Eeeep he's texting me now what should I do?

Updates

+1 y

He said he respected my decision to stop texting him, he was really cool about it. Whew! Problem solved! Thanks everyone.

[MaskofInsanity]

I don't think you're as naive as you think you are. You clearly see the possible dangers and evaluate your own behavior /reactions really well. Just want to commend you on having a good head on your shoulders (I definitely didn't when I was 16).

But yeah, I'd stay away from him. At the end of the day, it's kinda creepy either way. If he just wants to be your friend - why? I'm sure you're a great girl and well spoken, but after finding out you're 16 he should have realized there is an obvious maturity gap (illegalities aside). That being said, maybe there is some cultural differences I'm not aware of (assuming he's Singaporean). Regardless, it's not a relationship (friendship or otherwise) that has any potential for success, but DOES have potential for danger/drama.

Maybe just politely tell him that you enjoyed his company when you met him, but because of the age difference you think it's inappropriate to keep talking to one another. You can let him down gently, if that's what you wish.

[MaskofInsanity]

Thanks for BA :)

[Licca]

No problem, you really answered my worries! I thought, what if he really isn't interested in me in a sexual way? He hasn't done anything wrong, would he take it badly if I asked we stop it there? But you're right, it's weird in both cases and he'll probably back away when I ask him too, I don't think he'd want to get in trouble! (although I checked and 16 is legal in s'pore)

Thanks again!

[MaskofInsanity]

No worries, glad I can help. At the end of the day it's up to you - you have to exercise your best judgment :)

Good luck :)

[Anonymous]

You already are aware of what you should and shouldn't be doing from reading what you have written here.So in actuality,you're not really that naive.

Clearly,he is some sort of pedaphile...so...

WAKE UP.

[Licca]

Yeah, I think a part of me knew all along it's dangerous, but that part usually shuts up until it's too late. Although if I may correct smth you said, I'm not a prepubescent child, so it's not pedophilia. It could be that he's hoping I'm easy to manipulate, like someone said earlier here.

[Opinion Owner]

You are under 18 years of age,so technically in the eyes of the LAW,you are STILL a minor and even more technically...a child.

[Licca]

Pedophilia is, by definition, sexual interest in prepubescent children under 13 years of age. I may still be a child, but I've already gone through puberty. Actually, a 16 year old could be a pedophile, if he/she had interest in children under 11. As for the law, 16 is the age of consent where I live. But yeah, it doesn't change the fact that this man has no good reasons to stay involved with me.Thank you for your concern :)

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever.If you supposedly know so much,why are you in this situation?EXACTLY...child. -_-

[Licca]

Sorry if I came across rude or arrogant, it wasn't in my intention .

Obviously I still have a long way to go, and it's precisely because I'm ignorant/childlike in certain ways that I came here for help. It's also because of this that I have trouble saying no and sensing danger right away. Hence me being in this situation. Now with reflexion and advice from people on this site, I know what to do.

[I_M_LEGEND]

every country has differnt age limits. i m from Canada and its 16 here just like SINGAPORE. most places in the states are 17. pedophile is a strong word. know your info before you start using strong words. thnx

[ladyinred4]

You Should text him and tell him you are not comfortable with the friendship and you will not be texting him anymore. If he still texts you, ignore him.

[Licca]

Thank you, your help is greatly appreciated :D

[ladyinred4]

You are welcome.

[drjohno]

It was very common in the past that girls as young as you marry guys as old as that one. A guy that old is a stable guy, knows what he wants, has accomplished stuff, and is usually after a serious relationship. It's a pity we see guys like those as creepy, they're actually from the best husband quality you can find.

[Licca]

Thank you for taking the time to comment and not just stating "He wants to get in your panties". He indeed seems like a nice man. However, I am 99 % likely to be leaving Singapore after I'm finished with high school, which is in a year. I clearly told him that. Does it change something?

I don't know if he even is interested in me in that way...

[Janson]

Well I guess in his mind, if you can count, you're ready to mount

[CindiluvsFriends]

Sorry hon,it's pretty clear he only has one thinf in mind:sex. A lot of predators will 'seem' nice,then they let their guard down. Please don't see him again.

[abundantlyrich]

You seemed intrigued to want to know more of him if you've gave him your phone number in the first place.

That's what guys are like in their thirties. I think you were just trying to bait him in the first place. lol. No excuses.

[Licca]

I wasn't trying to 'bait' him, that's a weird idea..All I did was let myself be swept away by the flow of things. But I agree it's partly my fault. I should have politely backed away as soon as he asked more questions about me. At that point things went too quickly and I didn't stop to think. Also, I've always seen my mom talk to complete strangers and make wonderful encounters, so I don't have the 'fear' reflex at first, and am open to talking with friendly people like this guy.

[Anonymous]

He's a creeper and probably sees you as a lot easier to manipulate into sex and control vs a woman his own age

[ladyinred4]

Honey. This is not normal. He needs to find friends his own age. You need to stay away from him.

[Licca]

Thank you for your comment... If I may ask for more of your advice, what can I do if this sort of thing happens again? Because it already did before, except it was a 60 year old man working at my condo... now THAT was creepy. How can I say no and be more cautious, even when the guy seems just so nice and respectable like this one does?

[ladyinred4]

The way to handle it is just say hi and that you'd rather not give out your number. And just keep moving. Don't let them get you to stand around talking or you will let your guard down.

[LilKim]

Maybe the age of consent in Singapore is low. So he might be OK. Or a creeper

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He wants sex with a 16 year old .

[bgbknut3x]

Pussy reasons that's it

[ERB62]

He wants sex

[Anonymous]

Perversion.