I give my boyfriend everything, Why does he treat me like sh*t?

[Anonymous]

I know this may be long to read but I need some opinions...

Me and my boyfriend moved in together about 8 months ago.. Everything was smooth and lovey dovey. the past 4 months he's been treating me like ass.

1) we were suppose to split the rent/bills but he stopped helping me pay. I'm going broke and every time I ask him to help me out he says he's "not getting paid". I found out that was a lie because I saw money in his account

2) he works for at a cell phone store and every time he meets girls they always call and text him at night and he tells me its "customer relations" and I can't tripp about it. but girls texting my boy @ 2am saying "what are you doing" is unacceptable to me. If its customer relations why the f*** would she care what he's doing @ 2am?! I caught him texting another girl and calling her a lot telling her to take him out shopping because he doesn't know what to wear. isn't that something I'm suppose to be doing?

3) he works 7 days a week from 8am-10pm supposely... and he's not getting paid?!

4) Whenever I catch him doing something wrong and I want to talk it out.. there is no thought in my mind EVER leaving him... that's the last thought possible but whenever I want to talk about something he always gets fed up and says "lets just end it" but then after a couple hours he'll be all sweet all over again...

5) one thing that bothers me the most is him looking at porn everyday... I know your thinking all guys look at porn.. but honestly I give him head everyday before he sleeps and when he wakes up. literally we have sex pretty often... anybody tell me why he is still looking at it?! it really really really bothers me... esp when I give him head sooooo often just so that he won't look at porn..

6) I cook clean do his laundry pick up after his sh*t pay the rent pay the bills pay his telephone bills.. I never did these kinds of things before... I learned to do all that when I got with my boyfriend... my question is... I give him everything he wants.. what more can he ask for? he still treats me like sh*t

7) he tells me not to be so nice and understanding... but I can't help it... there are times when I blow up and want to call it quits... but its just so hard for me because I LOVE him and I AM living with him... I'm so p**** to leave him... why is that?!

8) why is it the more he treats me like sh*t the more I want to do MORE to make him love me like how he use to love me...

9) why is it that every time I do something good... I get my heart stomped all over...

10) you ask me why I love him?.. honestly I don't know.. I just can't see myself without him...

WHAT DO I DO?!

[Seraphic]

I can only reply and respond to the information that you have provided to me, so please do reply to me if you have any additional information or a response to my advice/opinions. I only know one side of a story.

1) Situation: Appears that he's lying to you about financial matters. Solution: Communicate, let him know you are aware of his lies and show him proof of his account. If you have told him how you feel and this is not acceptable, set some very strict ground rules and reasonably split financial costs fairly so that you are both contributing to where you are staying. If he does not comply to this, this is one reason to end a one-sided relationship.

2) Situation: Another blantant lie, calling other girls and texting at this time is by far an obvious cheating spree, including even meeting up with these girls to go shopping. Solution: Communicate this to him again, that this is making you very unhappy and insecure, if he does not change, this is yet another reason to end what still seems like a very unfair relationship.

3) Situation: A lie, as this man is telling lies directly to you, it's a warning sign. Solution: There is no solution to stop a person from lying, words are words and he clearly lacks respect for you.

4) Situation: He's using emotions to control you and how you feel, threatening you with breaking up for one moment and then the next, convincing you that he loves you, when the reasons even above this one shows that he clearly does not respect how you feel and your efforts through the way he treats you. Solution: If he refuses to listen to how you feel, respond to these with actions that benefit you, not him. Think about yourself more, stop trying to talk to a guy who won't listen to you and is clearly manipulating you.

5) Situation: Looking at porn is a way for a lot of guys to visually imagine things, if he has been open and honest to you about watching it, you should not worry so much, afterall you are the woman he is with and who he is attracted to for real. Solution: Tell him that it really bothers you, ask why he looks at it when you are making the effort of keeping him happy with just you. Ask him if it's possible for him to respect the way you feel and if he could not do it anymore.

6) Situation: Sounds like you are doing things you should rightfully not be inclined to do, even if you love this man, he is working and should at least be paying for his own bills and even doing his own laundry. Solution: Stop doing these things for him immediately, focus on yourself, do your own stuff and let him do his own stuff, you should not be obligated to take on the pressure of his tasks.

[berrylublee]

There's a vareity of things you could do here:

1. He's a jerk, but you say you love him, so for the sake of the relationship, move out. Everything was fine before you lived together, right? Talk about what went wrong after you get a place of your own, and maybe the two of you can try living together later. ALOT later.

2. If you still "can't" move out, take some time to make him miss you: take a vacay with a close friend, or rent some dvd's and a hotel room for yourself for at least week. Give him some time to pick up his own sh**. He needs to understand that you do not exist to cater to his every whim, and that even if you did nothing but sat there and looked at him, he should appreciate you. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THAT.

3.Or, plain and simple, grow a pair. Unless he's abusive or something, there should be no reason not ot stand up to him. Don't pay rent, go on a laundry strike, do nothing. Sit on that pretty ass of yours that he used to like so much, and do.Absoulutely.Nothing. And don't even ask him what he thinks of that, because it requires your energy.

It sounds like staying hurts more than leaving, and in its essence, love shouldn't hurt at all.

Good Luck.

[Seraphic]

7) Situation: You feel you love him and cannot leave him, even though there are many reasons why you should, it is very difficult to, because you cannot imagine being alone? Fear of being alone? Solution: If you want to stay with this man, a lot, and I mean a LOT of effort needs to be done, on your side, you need to stand up to him, set rules on how you feel and separate your life from his more. On his part, he really needs to change a lot of things, especially lying to you and cheating on you.

8) 9) and 10) Conclusion overall:

You are desparate, but trust me it does not sound like he is worth all this effort, you can meet someone better, you need to be stronger and think of yourself. He is treating you really badly, there are too many warning signs that you are very unhappy here. In my opinion, leave before it's too late. It will hurt loads, but would you rather hurt really badly for a short time after breaking up with him, or be hurt for a long long period of time over and over again and becoming unhappy, wasting your life staying with this man?

You need to ask this within yourself. Be strong and think of YOU more and how YOU feel.

[DoubleCheck]

You teach people how to treat you. You let yourself become a doormat and that is what he is treating you like.

I'm not excusing his behavior at all, but a lot of this is your fault.

[EasyEC]

If you had a personal slave that did whatever you wanted and never stood up to you, would you be attracted to him?

[TheMermaidSiren]

I may be really late in answering this, but maybe you are still in this relationship, and if you are, get out of it. You deserve so much better. I know it is hard and it feels like LITERALLY the last thing on earth that you want to do, but it is and WILL BE the best thing that you can do for yourself. Your boyfriend treats you so badly, because of one reason and one reason only: he's self consumed a.k.a. selfish. He honestly cares more about himself then he cares about you. I'm sorry, I know that it is so hard to hear but it is the truth. This jerk does not deserve you. There is another guy out there that WILL BE appreciative of all the kind and thoughtful things you do for him, but it won't be him. You will fall in love again, it'll just take a little time. Maybe he will realize what he lost one day, maybe he won't, but by then it won't matter because you'll have gotten over him and will know that you are happier without him in your life. I hope that this will help you if you are stil in this relationship, but I really hope by now you aren't. It will get better, but only without him. I wish the very best for you. :)

[shadowcat517]

He treats you like crap BECAUSE you do everything for him. You are pretty much his maid, you do whatever he wants, and you let him do whatever he wants. What has he done for you lately, other than have sex with you? You're spoiling him, and letting him get away with everything. If you want to maintain any shred of dignity you have left, while he's at "work," you pack his crap up and toss it out the window. You're paying for the house, you're putting all the effort into the relationship, and he gets to slack off. That's not how it should work. Or, when he's out, leave, and put all bills under his name, then go live somewhere where you won't go broke paying for some deadbeat's life.

[Anonymous]

about the head thing...

you can suck a guy off all you want, screw him everyday, and most of them will still look at porn/whack it at least once a day. are you jealous of the porn stars?

beyond that, he's an asshole. he's using you. kick his ass out. hire professional movers to haul his sh*t out onto the front lawn while he's at "work" and change the locks.

[DermalPunch]

Well, this is old but your title says it all. He treats you badly because you have no boundaries and don't hold him accountable. Real men respect and love women who hold them accountable. Men only understand consequences.

[gravygirl]

He's a liar and a jerk. Leave him. There's no way you'd be worse off without this asshole. Leave him and don't fall for another one like him.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him. I can't believe you're still with him after all he's done. You've paid his way and supported him in every way like he's a baby, and he treats you like crap. He's using you. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

There's only two option to ponder on:

1. If you want him to keep on treating you as sh*t, then stay w/him.

2. If you want him to stop treating you as sh*t, then break up with him.

I know it's hard to decide reasonably coz' you love him.

But if there's one thing that you should love first, it's yourself.

Love yourself!