Why don't some men compliment their girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend never tells me that I look nice, even when I'm all dressed up. Yet he always talks about how hot other women are. It really makes me mad because he can find the words to express his appreciation for other women, but not his own woman. I'm the one who spends every day with him, does things for him, tries to make him happy...and yet he can't ever tell me that I'm appreciated. I've talked to him about this before, and all he says is that he's not good at expressing his emotions. Well, I don't badger him about it because I know that won't change him...but can someone please tell me why its so hard for some guys to say nice things to their girl?

[atorin]

I'm sure he is a little more shy and does not have much experience in expressing himself. I think all guys will complement other girls or look lol, we are pigs in that regard even if it means nothing. Never complimenting you on the other hand is not acceptable. It comes from those few girls out there who are over sensitive. You say their hair is beautiful and then when they get a haircut they assume that it means you think they 're ugly now. This is very rare but in a sure he is afraid of something like this happening so he figures if he gives no opinion he can not accidentally hurt you. You can change him though, don't badger him but every now and then slip in a "I think this dress is beautiful on me but I can't decide why". With luck, after the first or second time you ask he will say why you look amazing. If you don't want to confront him more just do that occasionally and he will get more comfortable telling you that he thinks you are beautiful until he will be confident that his compliments always make you happy. ( by the way, you do need to be happy every time, if he says it is nice because of the shoes but you hate that answer, go with it. If you yell at him he will close up lol. Treat him like a puppy and reward good behavior)

[Anonymous]

Some guys compliment too much, Others not enough. A good guy should give no more than 2 compliments to his girlfriend per date IMO. Don't talk to your boyfriend about expressing anything! That's bad psychology! Guys want to do things because we want to do them...not because someone wants or asks us too. If my girlfriend told me to do this or that...it would really turn me off to wanting to do those things.

[xwolf24x]

My boyfriend is like that. But the longer I was with him, I learned that he found it easier to say that about other women because feelings weren't involved. Kinda like how guys get shy around the girl they really like, it's harder for them to articulate their feelings around her. Either that or they just expect us to know they appreciate us and think it should be assumed lol

So instead of focusing on his words focus on his actions. The way he looks at you, the little things he does to help you around the house or when you go out. Maybe he's just one of those people who shows how he cares through actions rather than words. Plus just be comfortable in your own skin and have fun with it. My boyfriend has a celebrity crush on salma hayek and he knows I have a huge one on ryan reynolds so on movie night sometimes I'll pick one that I knew she's playing in and he'll do the same for me with my favorite actor. Just be confident in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

I hate guys like that. If it bothers you, tell him how you feel. Oh, you already have? Well next time he comments on another woman - cut him off and tell him "If you can't compliment my appearance I sure as hell don't want to hear you do it to another woman" You will never get what you want unless you speak up and make it clear what your needs are. If he doesn't fulfill them then someone else can. I'm not saying leave him over that, but guys need to know that you can do better if he's not acting right someone else will. He has to be somewhat afraid of losing you, not thinking that he can do and say whatever and that you're never gonna go anywhere.

[dancing201]

I am glad someone finally asked this question... I am dating a guy who is exactly the same way. He rarely gives me compliments... And when he does... It's just... Oh that looks good on you but never you're beautiful or anything like that. It drives me crazy!

[Anonymous]

I dated someone like that. Even when I complimented him, he'd never return the compliment (even when I'd tried really hard). It turned out that he never really liked me much in the first place.

In your case, maybe he's just uncomfortable with the one on one compliment type situation, like he doesn't think he should have to say it, because he shows you that he cares. Some men are like that.

Is that what he does?

[ketfoen]

I guess some guys just have a harder time showing their emotions or giving someone a compliment. It's just how the guy is and if he didn't try to change his ways before, he won't be changing it ever, because he sounds like a knucklehead.

[Funnycoolnerdy]

Well I love complimenting my girlfriend, but once I had a girlfriend that didn't like or take compliments at all...so your answer may be that some men got so sick of girls like that, that they just gave up : /

[Anonymous]

To keep you in check. If we say it all the time, you'll get a big head about yourself and think that you can leave us for someone better and we don't like that. So we compliment only occasionally so your egos don't explode. That'd be messy.

[Asker]

So then he must be insecure, if he thinks that complimenting me will make me leave him for someone better. The ironic thing is that if he opened up to me and expressed his feelings more, I would feel closer to him.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya we don't think like that because that makes us more vulnerable.

[Tigurinn2]

This pretty much sums it up, along with hello009's answer

[hello009]

cuz he's giving her to much value, and she will lost interest.

[honeyltsme]

Start pointing out fitter guys with nicer things to him.

[Prof_Don]

Either the guy is introverted by nature or he is getting complacent with the flattery because the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship is over.

[moviedude714]

because girls don't want a guy to kiss up to them, they want the guy to be higher value than they are

[jmurk]

I really don't