Why do average and below-average girls in general have the same standards as above-average girls?

I used to be unsuccessful with girls of all attractiveness levels. Now after improving my game, I’m successful with girls of all attractiveness levels. I’ve noticed many guys go through similar experiences.

Don’t average and below-average girls realize that they’re basically pricing themselves out of the dating market by having standards that are pretty much the same as the standards that above-average girls have?

It’s not as if below-average and average girls don’t care if they never get boyfriends. They do complain and whine if ‘the right guys’ don’t approach.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls or guys can have whatever standards they want. BUT if they are not getting the type of partner they want they shouldn't complain . We tell people to be realistic and they get upset.

    That probably has to do with logical thinking. We all can't come in first place so there must be a second , third etc. I think guys are more willing to be second or third compared to girls. I think that girls are more willing/happy to remain single than guys hence the higher standards. They are willing to wait a very long time to find the ideal guy compared to us. We would take almost anyone who is available. Guys generally don't have high overall standards for girls.

    When some of these girls get older and realize that they really need to be realistic they start to settle in their droves. This is one of my biggest fears. I'd feel so ashamed and inadequate if my future wife really wanted an above average guy, couldn't get one so was forced to lower her standards ( to a more realistic type) or end up alone. I was there in my teens and twenties and overlooked and now that she wants stability she'll come to me. It really makes me sick.

    I get the whole controversial pricing out of the market thing. I also understand why you'd rather just try you luck with those above average girls than to go to the average or below average girls and have similar odds.

    This video always makes me laugh about this whole standards thing link


What Girls Said 10

  • I'm an average/plain looking girl. Does that mean that I can't have a guy I find physically attractive? Do I have to now change my standards of male beauty?

    Just curious.

    • If guys who meet your standards are interested in you, then great. But if guys who meet your standards aren't interested in you, then that suggests that you should lower your standards. You should be aware of the competition.

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    • I thought you were going to cease replying. People, in all markets, make deals with all sorts of other people. One should always go for what they want. Regardless of societal norms. I find, if you go for what you want, you get it. You also seem to think that men just get to pick and choose women. You ought to consider the fact that men are often not as worthy of a woman's affection and attention as they think they are. No matter how much more attractive society thinks he is compared to her.

    • When did I say anything about 'society'?

      When did I say that men just get to pick and choose? In fact, in the question, I said that, no matter what girls I approached, I was unsuccessful, which contradicts that idea, doesn't it?

  • No any person can still have standards. I think any woman complains when they feel the wrong type of guys are approaching. What does the first part of this question have anything to do with the rest of your question? Are you saying because you think the girl is not attractive in your eyes she should be selling herself short to please somebody else?

    • I don't think it's rational to complain that the wrong guys are approaching if you're setting your standards too high.

    • They'll still come around, just tryin it. Well sometimes people aren't that rational and just complain anyway. Like how your mom will nag you into the ground about cleaning your room and it already looks clean.

  • I notice this is more common among makes

    Just look all over this site. A bunch of broke uggos who think they deserve nothing but the best.

    • I see a lot of desperate males who would settle for pretty much anything.

      So you see a lot of average girls approaching average guys and getting rejected because those guys have the same high standards as above-average guys? Somehow I don't think so LOL.

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    • I've never seen that, frankly. And even in some rare case where a guy says it, it's not like he's actually secured the opportunity to be with an average girl. As I say, I've never heard of a situation where an average guy has actually turned down an average girl because he thinks he deserves an above-average girl.

    • Then we've different experiences

  • Well that's hilarious actually, because unattractive guys are usually the ones complaining that they can't get any girls when they in fact are trying to flirt with girls of the highest standard. Their is nothing wrong with having high standards, male or female, don't act as if this is a completely female phenomenon because if anything it's more of a male phenomenon.

    • Really? How many average guys do you know who've turned down average girls and complained that they deserve above-average girls?

    • ALLL THE TIME. I love that you're still in denial.

    • ALL THE TIME average girls approach average guys and get turned down because those guys have high standards? I don't think so. It's very rare for a guy to be approached at all. I've never been approached. Only a small porportion of my male friends and acquaintances have ever been approached

      I think what you're talking about is, some average girl has a crush on an average guy but she doesn't approach him, and the fact that he doesn't approach her makes her FEEL rejected. Not the same thing!

  • Attitude is the key. I consider myself average and I get hit on by different types of men. And how many times have you seen ugly chics dating HOOOT men. And super hot chics dating guys way below average.

    If the chic is ugly and has a horrible attitude of course no hot, average or ugly man will like that (well most won't)

    If the guy is ugly and has a horrible attitude then of course no chic likes that.

    I've seen so many times people dating out of their league that I really don't think that everyone thinks like you.

    Some people see beyond looks and money. Guys that can't get any is their own fault. Women that can't get any is their own fault.

  • I've never gone out of my league, but even men I consider in my league reject me. I'm someone who has been on my own for years, I take care of myself, I have a nice condo and car, a nice savings account and very independent. I am thin, I am active, and work out at the gym daily. I dress well. I just have a really ugly face. I was hanging out with a few friends of mine this weekend, and one of my girl friends thought that I should be set up with a guy she knows. I agreed, so I met him today. He has never moved out of his moms, he's 33 (I'm 27) he works part time but he's in debt (even though he has no bills) he has bad hygiene and is overweight. But I agreed anyway because I figured he could be a good guy, and maybe there is a reason why he still lives at home. I don't know his story. He saw me, and didn't even give me a chance because he only goes for tall blond girls (have to be at least 5'8 and I'm 5'4) with blue eyes. He walked out on the date. Later my friend called me to tell me what he told her. He told my friend that I am the ugliest woman he ever saw and he'd rather be dead than sleep with someone like me. He told her that I am the type of woman who men settle for. I'm a loser in his eyes.

    So even though I've been successful in life, and I have an open mind about who I date I get rejected. I am the ugliest woman in the world, and I am only for men to settle for. I'm hideous. I don't even know why I bother working out if no one cares anyway. People only care about a persons face and nothing else. I am nothing but a loser.

    • fix your face learn to do makeup it can help a lot especially if you have a good body. also maybe your hairstyle doesn't fit your face?

    • That's a sad story, but I never said ALL average and below-average girls have the same high standards as above-average girls. Best of luck in the future.

    • I do everything I can to try and change my face, it can't changed. I get my eyebrows done weekly, I do wear make up. Everyone says I look more like a man than a woman. My face just simply cannot look good. I'm just too hideous looking.

  • You should've directed this towards guys. Girls are totally irrelevant to this scenario of yours.

    • How are girls irrelevant? Are you saying that average girls do have lower standards than above-average girls? My experiences and the experiences of many other men say otherwise.

      Or are you saying that it's the guys are the ones who have too-high standards? Well, again, my experiences and the experiences of many other men would say otherwise.

  • So because they aren't pretty to you they shouldn't go for what they want? You sound really silly. You don't choose what guys a girl should go after.

    • First off, this question is addressed really to the vast majority of girls who don't approach often. If you do approach often, then it's really less of an issue for you. But, even then, it could be an issue. If you are that kind of girl, think of it this way. Imagine it's just as easy (or hard) for you to be successful with an above-average guy as with an average guy. Whom are you more likely to approach?

  • just because someone isn't "gorgeous" doesn't mean they don't deserve to choose who they like. seriously wtf is up with your mindset?

    no one should have to settle for anything, if you're desperate then go ahead and take whatever you can get, but it's not like if your looks are below a 6 then you should just scrape the bottom of the barrel.

    your reasoning doesn't work anyway because there isn't a scale for beauty so one guys vision of hot is another's vision of trash.

    and this may sound crazy, BUT there's still the personality aspect

    • What do you mean by 'deserve to choose'? I'm not saying anyone should be forced to be with someone they don't like. In fact, I made it pretty clear that what I say applies only to girls who don't like not having a boyfriend.

      You contradict yourself by using a scale of beauty and then saying that there isn't a scale of beauty. What I would say is there is a strong tendency to consensus. Yeah, there might be disagreement as to whether a girl is a 7 or an 8, but that's it really.

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    • everyone still has the right to have standards, regardless of how high they are or what they look like. Again I've never seen any real life examples of what you're talking about. No one has higher or lower standards strictly based on how they themselves look.

    • When did I ever say that no one has the RIGHT to have standards? It would be ridiculous to say that. This is about what is wise.

  • Why can't all girls have standards? I may not be the most glamorous looking woman, but I'll be damned if I settle and decide to be unhappy just because someone else says that I'm average or below-average.

    What defines whether a girl is average, below-average, or above-average?

    I guarantee you that some guys have looked at me and said I'm ugly or fat.

    I was bullied a lot in school by both boys and girls.

    I have also had people tell me that I look like a model, that I have the most gorgeous skin ever, that I have a heart of gold, that I'm the most unique person they've ever met. I've been told that I'm amazing.

    So who gets to decide whether a woman is below-average, average, or above-average?

    • You can have high standards, but you have to accept that the higher your standards, the less likely they are to be satisfied. There's a lack of acknolwedgement there among many girls, I think, a kind of detachment from reality. If you genuinely are happy to stay single, then your standards can be as high as you want and there's no problem. But most girls aren't genuinely happy to stay single.

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    • No doubt I could fall in love with an average girl, or find some awesome trait in her. But it's no less likely that I could feel that way about an above-average girl.

    • And I agree with that. I feel bad for you, because...the way your question was worded (and probably how a lot of women read it), sounded like you were being a shallow jerk, so..be prepared to be attacked by a few women. But I don't think you meant this question as an insult or anything. it's probably the same way I feel about the 'friend zone', so..I understand your point now. Thank you for explaining it to me. ^^

What Guys Said 7

  • Unrealistic expectations, ofcourse! Pricing themselves out of the market will no doubt come back to bite them in the arse (at which point they'll blame men xD).

  • Oh, and if I could give you "BQ" (Best question) I would.

  • At 25-30 years old, they realize they aren't worth what they thought.

    Here they ask:

    "Why don't I have a boyfriend?"


    "Why have I never had a boyfriend?"

    Like, uhh.. Duh! You don't look good enough to get the kind of guy you want! Lawlz

  • The problem with this logic that average and below-average girls need to realize their market of availability is that everyone has their own preference of what is attractive. I know girls that for some reason everyone thinks is hot, but I really don't see it. I just see a girl that is average, or at the very best slightly above average. Then there are girls that some guys will find either ugly or average and I will think they are above-average or really hot.

    So, first you have that problem. Then you have the problem of how people perceive themselves. There are folks that are, generally speaking (meaning most people) would find to be really attractive but yet these individuals think they are highly unattractive. Then you have people that most people will think are really ugly, but these specific individuals think they are really hot.

    So, how can a person that is average or below-average realize that they are pricing themselves out of the dating market when they have the perception that they belong to the top 1% of hot/sexy people.

    So, this sums up why people have standards. Everyone on this planet has standards and should have standards. The reason why we date is to find out if all our standards match. What creates the dating environment in the first place is the first set of standards. Looks. A persons physical attraction is the first set of standards that people go by when dating someone. If both partners feel that the other meet within their standards then they date. While dating, if the other standards match (such as behavior, habits, and overall traits) then it turns into a serious relationship. These standards that people have help us find the person that is best suited for us. I don't believe anyone should "settle" with something less than what their standards are. If they happen to have unrealistic standards then they will suffer from this choice, but this choice is theirs to make. I don't have a problem with women or men that complain with not being able to find "the right person". My reasoning for not having a problem with this is because it's part of my standard to cross off anyone on this list. If someone is all "woe is me" , then clearly they aren't the person that I'd want to be with or even associate myself with. I'm sure many girls out there feel the same way. They don't have a problem with the guys that complain (other than it being annoying) because they find it unattractive and automatically are taken off the list of possible candidates With one less person on the list of possible candidates, it makes finding the one person that they feel is best suited for them all the more easier.

  • I know. Some women complain and whine that the" right guy" doesn't approach them instead of doing some approaching themselves sometime. They claim that personality and confidence is all that matters , but when a guy does approach them, It's all about PHYSICAL ATTRACTION which is the first test when approaching a potential mate because personality and confidence are worth nothing if you can't pass the physical attraction part. Maybe they should lower their standards I hear guys get told that all the time when they can't get a woman.

  • Everyone has "standards" beyond their reach and expectations. That is unfortunately due to the society in which we live today. The age of social media and reality television have given people false expectations of what is important in life and relationships. Sure everyone wants a bombshell to bring home, but the amount of really hot people in the world is very nominal compared to the majority who aren't. Same concept with everyone being wealth hungry and seeking people with a particular social status level. 99% of people want what the 1% have and are and it's just a big downward spiral. If people paid more attention to important things like someones personality and morals, that would be a step to fixing things. I mean the divorce rate is 50% and everyone today is replaceable in relationships. It's a shame.

    • Well I don't. I approached so many different girls, including some way below average.