Why do men chicken out of everything??

[dothedew]

I have a good friend - we've known each other for about six years. Really hitting it off; able to tell each other a lot. Ever since last Christmas I'd continue to keep in touch through email (we live several states away) but very rarely would he respond. Before Christmas we'd constantly email each other back and forth and sometimes talk on the phone.

He really hurt me at Easter as we talked on the phone, setting up a day to meet but then canceled and never contacted me to set up another date.

I went back to where I live and gave him the silent treatment for a month before composing an emailing, telling him how I felt - how I was attracted to him but just view him as a good friend, how he hurt me at Easter and how I would appreciate it if he would respond back so I knew how he felt and we could resume our friendship like we had before Christmas.

Have not heard a thing from him and it's been over two weeks. He's very shy but my reaction is he's scared and he's just taking the chicken way out. I know people will tell me "well his silence IS his answer to you" but I just wish he'd tell me SOMEthing! Even if he'd tell me "go to hell" I'd be fine with that - just say SOMEthing - I can take it. Why do men do this? It really ticks me off!

Updates

+1 y

Yes, I definitely understand that women do the same thing.


I'm thinking of giving him a call this weekend (not leave a message if I just get his machine; just see if he's home). Do you think that's a good idea or just continue waiting?

[gotc147]

I don't think "chicken out" is the right thing to say here, more like "neglect".

But anyway, No real way to tell what's going through his mind, he might have a lot on his plate and could be unable to respond right away, my own brother whom I went my first 20 and a half years of life not knowing wasn't able to reply to an email I sent him for a good 6 days simply because he was so busy.

He could also be really hurt himself that he hurt you and the fact that you sent him an email expressiong yourself probably didn't do much to ease his conscious. If that's there are two possibilities, either he's trying to figure out the right thing to say (which can take a while) or he did take the quick and easy (and hurtful) way out and just decided to stop talking to you.

But don't dismiss the fact that women do this same thing to men, not you persay, but generally, and it makes us feel the same way.

[gotc147]

Been 2 weeks? Give him a call, after that and whatever the outcome, the ball is in your court.

[wildcard123]

Yeah that is very frustrating. However, women have done the same thing to me. I guess sometimes the easiest path is the path people will take. I hope it works out and if it doesn't, then I'm sorry he chickened out.

[michi_47]

Honestly I don't think he's chickening out he's probably just feeling weird because maybe both of you have changed over the years and now he's not sure what to tell you. But I think you should give him a call that way he knows you haven't forgotten about him and you would still like to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

they're afraid of your reaction. they figure the best way to deal with it is to just ignore and let go.